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No more gay best friends! We want gay main characters!
Two flamboyant gay men throw a murder-mystery party for their friends, and all is fun and games until the guests start dying ONE. BY. ONE. I'm envisioning Scream meets Game Night in this spinoff starring Booksmart's gay besties. Imagine the DRAMA. Imagine the quippy one-liners. Imagine the costumes. We need more horror-comedies, and this one sounds like a blast.
Riverdale's leading all-girl power couple deserves more time in the sun. Why should they be sidelined by Betty's serial killer genes and Archie's boxing matches? Cheryl and Toni deserve to be front and center like the stylish Serpent Queens they are. Perhaps they lead a band of lesbian vigilante biker gals? Perhaps they launch a maple-vodka empire and delve into corporate espionage? Perhaps Penelope Blossom goes missing and the pair go undercover to find her? Really, I don't care what the show is about as long as we get one-liners and fabulous scarlet outfits.
This six-part Phoebe Waller-Bridge–helmed comedy is a masterpiece, especially in how it focuses on the blossoming relationship between the openly gay Fred and Sam, who is questioning his sexuality. But the open-ended finale left me in AGONY because....do these two friends fall in love? The entire global public is demanding to know. Phoebe — get back in the writing room and give us a Fred-and-Sam spinoff.
Imagine this. It's a whole movie musical, but every song is belted by Alex Newell, the gender-nonconforming actor with pipes of gold. As the American Idol judges loved to say, "I could listen to you sing the phone book." So let's get a movie where Alex just sings off people's names. Honestly, I would watch, and then I would download the Spotify album and listen to it nonstop until Alex became my Spotify Wrapped artist of the year.
While Artie, Cruella's fashionable bestie in the new Disney movie, was touted as the first queer character in a prominent role; that basically just meant he wore makeup. His sexuality and gender were never explored in the film, and some have accused Disney of queerbaiting yet again. And to that I say, "Well, then, let's make a movie all about Artie." Chic. Stylish. Effortlessly cool. I'd watch him breeze about London for two hours.
It seems like every other week, we're getting news about some GoT spinoff or another. So why not green-light some gay medieval dramas? We can go for the femme gay palace intrigue with Loras in The Knight of Flowers, or the butch lesbian pirate direction in The Drowned Woman.
If you haven't watched Sean Baker's revolutionary film about transgender sex workers in Los Angeles, then you need to stop what you're doing and go watch immediately. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was the best film I saw during my never-ending pandemic film binges. Sin-Dee goes on a rampage when she learns her boyfriend is dating a new woman, dragging the beleaguered Dinah around the streets of LA. I'd gladly watch a full film franchise about her life, and we need more movies about trans people starring trans people, so this is a win-win.
If you, like me, spent part of the pandemic watching the YouTube compilations of Shameless that are only the Gallavich scenes, then you understand why there needs to be a spinoff focusing on the chaotic gay couple. They're the heart and soul of the Showtime show, and they could be the heart and soul of their own show, too.
We spend most of Perks focused on Charlie (Logan Lerman), but clearly Patrick is the more interesting character, and what happens to him after high school? I want a college dramedy with him at the center, please.
Sam agrees to a prom-night sex pact with her two best friends and spends most of the film deciding whether she should just sleep with Chad or if she should tell her friends and family that she actually likes girls. Blockers deserves a sequel anyways, and let's put Sam and a new college lesbian romance at the center of it — please?
We could use a Troye Sivan–led spinoff to Boy Erased at the very least because it means we'd get a few good Troye songs on the soundtrack. But his character, pretending that gay conversion therapy is working on him so he can be released from the evil establishment, deserves a more upbeat spinoff. We want to see love and romance! We want to see Troye on a dance floor vibing while one of his songs pumps in the speakers!
The closeted lesbian liberal working at Fox News because it was the only journalism job she can get is both terribly sad and incredibly humorous at the same time. But hear me out: What if she's on a long-term, undercover con job to bring down the entire network? It's like Ocean's Eleven except it's Kate McKinnon instead of George Clooney, and instead of three casinos, it's an evil, fearmongering media conglomerate.
He pretended to have cancer. He pretended to write a book. He pretended to be innocent of murder. He pretended to be a straight, Republican news reporter. Elliott Goss is good for a spectacle, and the one problem with Search Party is that he has to share the spotlight. Let's give him his own show. Elliott would be very into that.
It pains me deeply to ask for a movie where Molly Gordon and Geraldine Viswanathan are not leads, because they are the stars of the future, BUT I also deeply need a full-length film about Phillipa Soo's horny, serial-dating lesbian with great glasses. Give me a rom-com, please, and thank you. Maybe the love interest can be Hamilton costar Jasmine Cephas Jones? Think of the musical potential there!
As its name implies, this film is stacked with crazy rich Asians. That means that Nico Santos's gossipy second cousin doesn't get nearly as much screen time as he deserves. I know there is already a sequel in the works, but maybe for the sequel, it's him falling in love instead of watching from the sidelines.
Justin is OOZING with potential on Ugly Betty. Honestly, he knows more about fashion and style than the rest of the characters put together, but unfortunately, he is a child. Give me the Pretty Justin reboot that sees him working at Mode with Betty. Mark Indelicato is fresh off Hacks, and the world is clamoring for more.
And speaking of fabulous men at fictional fashion publications, let's give Nigel his own spinoff too. Perhaps Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) has retired and he's the new editor-in-chief of Runway? Perhaps he has to go toe-to-toe with Jacqueline Follet? Perhaps his right-hand woman is Emily Charlton? I'm seeing big box office bucks for this one.
In the Stephen King books, Richie's homosexuality is only hinted at. In the movies, we see Richie's long-standing love for Eddie. What if Pennywise were to return for a third and final time, only now it's Richie and his new husband who must take on the evil clown to avenge Eddie's death? Horror, gay romance, and clowns eating children — what more could you ask for?
Okay, TBD on the concept of the show, but I love Gottmik and need more of her. Obvi, she'll be back for a Drag Race All Stars in the future, but in the meantime, can she host a game show or something, please?
The Lady Bird–Danny friendship is one of the most beautiful parts of the Greta Gerwig film, and you can just feel it in your gut that both of them are going to blossom in massive ways in college. So let's see it! Give me a sequel where Danny is off to college in LA and Lady Bird comes to visit for a weekend. We need more movies about the gay boy–straight girl friendship dynamic that focuses on the guy, not the girl, and goes beyond him saying "YAS, QUEEN" when she tries on dresses.
I mean, do I even need to really pitch this? The fact that Netflix hasn't already green-lit three Titus spinoffs is SHOCKING.
Yes, I understand that at first glance, doing a whole movie focused on a middle-aged, suicidal literary scholar does not sound like a great time. BUT hear me out. Frank's backstory is that he was the number one Proust scholar in the world, he fell in love with his grad student, and then the grad student left him for his rival, the number two Proust scholar in the world. That is DRAMA, and imagine what will unfold now that Frank has better mental health and they all wind up at the same Proust conference in France? I'm here for some gay literary intrigue.
The whole point of this Best Picture winner is that we're getting snapshots into Chiron's life, and pieces of those snapshots involve his first love, Kevin. But what is going on in Kevin's life? How did he find love? That's what I want to know.
Gay lovers on rival sides of the Crusades!?!?!?!?! Never in a million years would I have asked for that, but now that Joe and Nicky are telling me that's how they met, this horny queer Crusades movie is the only thing I need. Just think Troy but somehow even more gay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand that the whole point of the Power Rangers is that they team up and stick together to fight the bad guys. But I would also like to just watch Becky G kick ass as the lesbian Yellow Ranger for an entire film. Maybe she forms her own team of only female rangers? We've got potential here.
I, unfortunately, did read Ready Player Two. Don't make that same mistake. Instead of turning that into a movie, however, the studio should focus on an Aech spinoff starring Lena Waithe. She's clearly a force to be reckoned with in the OASIS, and I'd like to see her save the day a second time.
I know it's hard to remember anything from this movie aside from the fish penis, but if you really think hard, you may remember the very sweet, closeted neighbor who helps rescue the fish man. It's the 1960s, and all Giles has been doing is pining after men at the diner. Please give this man a boyfriend! Hell, I'll even take another fish boyfriend if need be.
Tammy Metzler is unequivocally an icon. When her girlfriend dumps her for HER BROTHER, Tammy signs up to run against said brother and his new girlfriend for student body president. It is the level of petty that we can all only hope to aspire to. In the end, Tammy is sent to an all-girls school, and THAT, my friends, is where her spinoff should take place.
Awwwwww. poor Gabe is just really going through those adolescent "What is my sexuality?" growth pains. And Pen15, while incredible, spends most of its time focused on other characters. Let's get a whole show about Gabe and what it's like, not necessarily to come out to other people, but to come out to yourself.
We all know that Damian is "too gay to function," but that doesn't stop him from being one of the best parts of this classic teen comedies of the early aughts. Now just imagine this line over a new movie trailer: "If he thought the girls in high school were mean, just wait until college!" Tell me you wouldn't spend $18 on a ticket to see that film. I dare you.
The cross-dressing, gay (but maybe not gay?) dean of Greendale Community College deserves his own show, if only so that we can see another six seasons' (and a movie's) worth of incredible costumes. The school is always under threat of closure. He's always falling in love with a hunky student. There's plenty of fertile ground here.
In a show mostly about straight white men arguing about money, Asia Kate Dillon's nonbinary character is a bright spot. Now maybe let's stick Taylor in a new show where they are in control. And instead of a straight white rival, let's fill the whole cast with queer people of color. Sound good?
Not all gay men are femme, if you didn't know, and Max is here to prove that. The magic that was Happy Endings has been off the air for far too long. Time for a reboot focusing on how being queer doesn't look any one way.
We've seen A LOT of Alexis Bledel's character being miserable on this dystopian series. Maybe now it's time to see her in a power position. She's fled to Canada. She's with her wife and son. Now let's see her fighting back against Gilead. We love a revenge story.
One of the most visceral memories from my life as a gay teenager was watching the story-within-a-story doomed romance of Valerie and Ruth in V for Vendetta. I was watching it, closeted, in my dorm with a bunch of guys, desperately trying not to sob. Their love story is incredibly beautiful, and deserves the full motion picture treatment.
I mean, it's probably easier to do an article on characters from Pose who shouldn't get a spinoff. The talent here is off the charts. The characters are fascinating. Give anyone a new show and I'll watch it.