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1. A variety pack of Soylent that'll keep you fed and full of the nutrients you need without spending a moment on meal prep in your closet-sized kitchenette.
2. A TubShroom to keep your drain hair-free without chopping off your luscious locks. You were way too close to shaving your head the last time you saw what you'd done to the drain. Don't risk that again.
3. A Zipuller so you can finally close the impossibly long zipper on your favorite jumpsuit without the help of your incessantly chatty roommate. The next time you ask them to please ~zip it~ they can know you're not talking about your outfit.
4. A real life adult swaddle that's gonna save you from insomnia and have you sleeping so soundly your baby's gonna be jealous.
5. A cell phone jail for anyone who needs some no-nonsense visualization to help them take a social media break and finally put down that phone for five minutes.
6. A Series 4 Apple Watch you can sweat in, sneeze on, and swim with. It has a heart rate monitor, a speaker that's 50% louder than previous versions, and access to tons of apps. Because you *can* have it all... and you can wear it all on your wrist.
7. A leave-in protein treatment — you'll be amazed at how fast your hair feels nice and nourished after throwing this stuff on. Kiss those expensive salon treatments (and your scraggly split ends) goodbye!
8. A self-cleaning litter box with odor-absorbing crystals and a motion sensing litter rake, to give you a literal bathroom break from cleaning Fluffy's nasty bathroom.
9. A detangling brush you can confidently comb through wet or dry hair and know it's ~knot~ gonna hurt one bit.
10. A handy pair of light gloves so you won't be in the dark (well, not literally) when fixing your pipes for the first time.
11. An ab roller that'll make your workouts way more intense and strengthen your core in the most satisfying way possible. Abs are a super tough zone to target, but use this regularly and you'll probably end up feeling ~wheely~ great about your results!
12. A window fly trap, because your fly swatting aim is not getting any better and this can get rid of those miserable house flies in a far more efficient and sanitary manner.
13. And a gorgeous citronella hanging coil that'll keep mosquitos from eating you alive when *you* want to be the one eating out on your deck.
14. A universal socket with steel spring pins to adjust and fit a variety of screws, nuts, and bolts — a handy thing to have around the house when you don't have a whole toolkit handy.
15. A teeth whitening pen that'll keep your smile bright no matter how much coffee you drink and give you results you'll a whole ~latte~.
16. A beard bib to keep your sink free of shavings and get you out of any potentially ~hairy~ situations with your roommates.
17. A pressure cooker that'll help you make a dessert as sweet as John Paul Jones' smile at your next Bachelor In Paradise viewing party.
18. A charcoal air purifying bag so you can hide the smell of the fast food you are definitely not supposed to eat in your mom's car without using suspiciously synthetic air fresheners.
19. An unnecessarily stunning cuticle cutter set for when you can't make it to the salon but also can't make it another day with those unruly cuticles laughing in your face.
20. A darling pig egg yolk separator you can use when your recipe calls for separated eggs and you don't want your meal to turn into slop.
21. An anti-chafing balm because every time "Summertime Sadness" starts playing you think about chafing skin, which was probably not Lana's intention. Use this and you just might figure out the real meaning, while also giving your thighs a sigh of relief.
22. A sleeved blanket for anyone in the thick of a thermostat war with their ice-cold coworker — throw this on and never waste your time changing the dial again.
23. A microwave cleaner you can get if you think cleaning out the microwave is so gross you've almost considered no longer spending your paycheck on cake mug mixes. Almost.
24. Or a refrigerator deodorizer because your partner's experimental spaghetti casserole made you squeamish when it was fresh out of the oven and the smell it's now leaving in the fridge is definitely not an improvement.
25. A drill brush kit you can get if it's finally time to stop ~brushing off~ your parents' concern when they ask if you ever wash your bathtub.
26. A jewelry tool sure to help when the tiny clasp on your bracelet is putting you in a pinch.
27. A pack of spin hair pins that'll hold your hair tight all day, saving you from having to readjust your 'do in a mirror-less bathroom before a big date.
28. A stovetop pour-over kettle for coffee connoisseurs who want a perfect cup of coffee without spending a pretty penny at a coffee shop every morning.
29. A pack of pimple patches that'll look barely-there when you wear them and get rid of your blemishes so fast your whiteheads'll wish they'd found another face to call their place.
30. A set of four egg cookers you can use on mornings when you've gotta ~scramble~ to make a full breakfast that requires little clean up.
31. A pair of blister proof socks so you can run long distances without feeling like you, or any blisters, are going to burst.
32. A Cableyoyo – it's gonna keep your headphone and earbud cords organized, even when you throw them in that black hole you call a backpack.
33. A reusable Baggu shopping bag that folds into a lightweight pocket-sized square you can easily leave in purse. Never forget to bring a reusable bag again!
34. A pack of six charcoal water filter sticks to throw in a water bottle or jug and enjoy plastic-free filtered water when you're home or on the go.
35. A head scratcher that'll stimulate your scalp and help you relax fast when the stress of the day feels like an itch you can't scratch.
36. A Squatty Potty for people who are tired of sitting on their constipation problem.
37. A gel wart remover that'll clear away those stubborn warts and give you toes that'll happily ~gel~ with sandal season.
38. A brilliant dry shampoo — you're gonna be singing its praises on days when your hair looks more like Grease than Hairspray.
39. And finally, a bug bite sucker so you can suck out any itching bites that are really and truly bugging you.
When these products work exactly as well as I told you they would:
Looking for more great finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.
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