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The Definitive Ranking Of Hair Metal Hair

Glam on.

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This extremely scientific ranking is based on: hair volume, amount of hairspray used (flammability), and overall band participation.


33. Van Halen

Warner Bros. Records

Volume: 4

Flammability: 3

Band Participation: 2

Score: 9

There is so much unused potential here. Had the hair been slightly bigger and grittier, they could have easily earned a spot in the Top 20.


15. KISS

Casablanca Records

Volume: 6

Flammability: 7

Band Participation: 10

Score: 23

If they didn't have the hair, they'd be just another group sticking out their tongues and caking on their makeup (read: Miley).


10. Lizzy Borden

Metal Blade Records

Volume: 9

Flammability: 8

Band Participation: 9

Score: 26

Lizzy Borden took an ax and gave their curls 40 whacks,

It's too bad they stopped the fun, they could have been No. 1.


5. Wrathchild

Heavy Metal Records

Volume: 9

Flammability: 10

Band Participation: 9

Score: 28

This hair is attached to the scariest looking dudes on the list. They look like the kind of guys who lived in their mothers' basements.

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