Would you rather be 4'4" or 7'7"?
Would you rather sleep with no pillow or half of a blanket?
Would you rather have hiccups every day for the rest of your life or feel like you are going to sneeze during every moment for the rest of your life?
Would you rather have a permanent unibrow or no eyebrows at all?
Would you rather be able to speak any language fluently or be able to talk to animals?
Who would you rather take behind the schoolyard and get pregnant: a Subway sandwich or soup, salad, and breadsticks from Olive Garden?
Would you rather shave three inches off your height…or three inches off your penis?
Would you rather celebrate Easter or 4/20 this weekend?
Would you rather be the next host of The Late Show or The Tonight Show?
Would you rather fart popcorn or have anyone be able to see your past and present Google search history?
Would you rather have your arms and legs switched or have crayons for teeth?
Would you rather be sexually attracted to fruit or have Cheeto dust permanently on your fingers?
Would you rather have a bell go off every time you are aroused or feel a sharp pain in your side every time someone said your name?
Would you rather change gender every time you sneezed or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
Would you rather sweat mayo or poop a softball?
You’re on a deserted island with a beautiful woman, would you rather her top half be fish or her bottom half be fish?
Catch Tracy in Bona Fide — his first Comedy Central stand-up special since 30 Rock ended — Sunday, April 20, at 10 p.m. ET and in Rio 2 (in theaters now).