33 People On What They Love About Being Queer
Yes, everything is great about being queer, but here are some specific things.
1. "Honestly, I love kissing my perfect gf in public and not giving a f*ck about all the weird looks we get."
2. Being able to empathize with others.
What I love about being queer is my accessibility to empathy. Being a queer Asian, who's also an atheist living in a predominantly Muslim country, my minority stress is off the charts. But because I know and experience pain and oppression, it allows me to be able to empathize and feel a sense of kinship with the structurally oppressed, ostracized or marginalized, in whatever sentient form — humans, animals... It's a humbling existence. I like being outside the margins because it allows me to see the bigger picture. This wouldn't have been possible had I been born, say, as a white and/or heterosexual person.
3. Confidence and educating others.
4. "Being (probably) bi is fookin' great because I never have to change the pronouns in songs."
5. No molds.
I love that I can be me. I love that I don't fit into a stereotypical mold. I love that I can love a person and not just be attracted to the idea of sex and be expected to procreate because we can. I also love that we're a community that only comes out stronger from hate and that we're all there for each other, even if we haven't met.
6. No pressure or expectations.
Getting to see the diversity in relationships and realizing that mine don't have to look like a typical partner/spouse/___friend relationship. I’m asexual and something about that sort of romantic relationship has just felt off to me, especially when I’m in it. I’ve finally started realizing that I can still care about a person and have romantic feelings for them without ever having to do the move in together, get married, have kids, etc. thing. Amatonormativity, or the idea that romantic relationships should take priority over other ones, has greatly impacted me, and finally getting to break free of its grip has been...well, freeing!
8. Being part of a larger family.
9. The sense of humor.
I love our community's sense of humor! Walking fast, iced coffee, complaining about cishet people being "Like That," not sitting in chairs properly, ALL the puns, our insistence in claiming characters as our own.
Even more, though, I love that as a bi/queer person, I have the capacity to love anyone. None of y'all are safe, everyone is attractive, lol.
10. Being completely yourself.
My sexuality feels like one of the only things about me that is truly me. It feels like every other aspect has been shaped to please somebody else or to blend in to society. My bisexual identity is one of the only things about me that hasn’t really been tainted by somebody else’s point of view. While there’s a community that has helped me find words to express to others who I am, there is still this understanding that the definition of a word is not a person. Yes there are people that don’t understand or care to, yes there are those that don’t like us for reasons I may never understand AND there are plenty of human beings out there with voices like mine. Voices that are ready and willing to not only drown out the hate, but to also educate and stand with those that see a need for change, empathy, and acceptance over fear and tribalism. None of us are perfect, but those who try, those who listen without judgment, and those who decide to do what is right for humanity as a whole even when it comes at a great personal cost are the loud and proud people that I look up to. These are the people I feel connected to when I think of this part of me. This is me... this is why I’m proud!!!
12. Feeling totally free.
Living in my queerness is a freedom that I realize a lot of cis-hets don’t have. As a gender-nonconforming person who dates men and is not worried about perception, I feel like I’m allowed to be, do, wear, like whatever I want to. Because nobody can box me into what someone assigned male at birth is supposed to be: I decide who I want to be and nobody else. Period. I’ll be walking into the room Louis Vuitton purse first, darling...
13. No accidental pregnancies.
I don't know about the rest of you, but the fact that you can have sex and not worry about getting yourself or your partner pregnant is pretty great. If you want a child, it takes careful planning. No oopsies moments.
14. The camaraderie.
I love the camaraderie the most. Once you come out and open yourself up, a whole community comes out of the woodwork ready for you. And then you get to be that person to someone else when they come out too. My coworker’s son came out to me because I’m vocal about the community and he felt safe telling me. That’s the spirit of us. We’re love ❤️.
15. The instant community.
16. "People seem to trust us pretty easily. You meet someone and next thing you know? All their dirtiest secrets."
17. Having a shared experience.
I love how since we're all going through these shared experiences of feeling out of place and in some unfortunate cases unwanted, we compensate for the lack of appreciation and support from the general public by supporting one another.
18. The inside jokes.
I LOVE the jokes my fellow queer friends and I make, and how a lot of them seem to be running jokes throughout the whole community. I love that I can laugh with people and feel safe with them making jokes about being queer. Being able to find joy in myself is the BEST part of my queerness.
19. The history.
I love our culture. A history of standing up against people who put us down, and taking our pain and turning it into something rich and beautiful. Supporting each other and other hurting communities when we're down. Knowing that I'm a lesbian makes me feel strong. I have generations of beautiful, revolutionary women who came before me. I have their power in me. I love my community, and I will use this strength to protect it until the day I die.
20. "I love being able to watch TV shows or movies or read books and be in love with every single character. Being bi rocks!"
21. Being able to educate yourself.
I love that being queer has served as a gateway to seeing privilege. Seeing straight privilege started me on a road to listening and believing other minority groups and DAMN there’s a lot of work to do.
22. The emotional maturity,
I like being more emotionally mature that heterosexual people my age. Growing up gay teaches you how to handle broken family relationships, constant heartbreak and pain, dealing with people who hate you for no damn reason, and makes you more empathetic toward other people’s problems. Not saying straight people don’t deal with some of that too! But for gay people, it’s a universal and daily thing. While some of it does suck, it leaves you being more ready for the real world and for other things you’ll end up facing. Also, better music taste. LOL.
23. The support.
24. Not being like everyone else.
I just love not being like everyone else. Everyone is straight, everyone fits in, everyone is the same. I'm not! I'm me and I'm fun! I'm bisexual and I dont fit in with the mainstream. I love being the odd one out 'cause it's fun and gives you a chance to do what you want. For me, it means being unashamed of myself and not caring what others think. And that's really awesome.
25. Our little secrets.
I love the secret codes we have. For example, “I like your style” translates to “I’m a lesbian and you’re hot.” Or the fact that you can immediately identify a queer person if they cuff their jeans. Or even the whole concept of Gay Twitter and Gay TikTok. Our world is ever-expanding.
26. Being able to relate to all your friends.
As someone who’s bisexual, I really appreciate being able to give relationship advice to the majority of my friends, and listen to them talk about their crush. You find the new girl super cute? I agree, sis! You think that guy in your Sociology class is the hottest you’ve ever seen? A hundred percent with you! It’s nice to be the person people like to gush about their newest flames to.
27. Truly liking people for who they are inside.
I love that being pansexual allows me to be attracted to people almost exclusively based on personality and temperament. Doesn’t matter what you’ve got in your pants or how you identify, I just want a good person on the inside!
28. The experience of attending Pride.
29. The culture.
I love being queer because of the artistry and richness in our culture. What goes on in underground queer communities, when it comes to fashion, dancing, humour, and self-expression truly is that thing giving my life flavour. Everybody can see drag queens and voguing on TV these days, but unless you’ve really been in the room and experienced the culture firsthand, you don’t know what you’re missing.
30. The girls.
I’m proudly lesbian and have grown up with a lesbian mother. (Funny story — I got confused when I first saw a straight couple. I didn’t know a boy and girl could be in love. My mom forgot to teach me what being straight was haha.)
All the love and support I get from my mother and the community are amazing.
Plus GIRLS! It’s so much fun to like girls!! They’re adorable and lovely and I love them all!!
31. "The experience of being with someone who understands your needs because they feel them too."
32. The evolution of becoming who you are.
I'm a trans man. I love the feeling that so much confusion, pain, and shame turned into a source of pride and led me into the closest relationship I've ever had with my family. The best part though? Every time my dad introduces me to someone and says, "This is my son, Chris."