You have a "spot" on your couch.You get angry when other people sit in that spot.You've spent a solid five hours on your couch without getting up (NO BATHROOM BREAK).You've spent a solid 10 hours on your couch without getting up (NO BATHROOM BREAK).You've spent a consecutive 36 hours on your couch (bathroom break allowed).You've spent an entire week or more on your couch, only getting up for the bathroom and drink refills.You have a butt imprint on your couch.You have visible stains on your cushions.You also have stains on the other side of your cushions.You are screwed if you get another giant stain because all cushions have been flipped for stain hiding.You've fallen asleep on your couch.You've named your couch.You'd prefer to sit on your couch instead of any other place in your home.You'd prefer to sit on your couch instead of going outside.You'd prefer to sit on your couch instead of attending your friend's birthday party.Your couch is your closest friend.Your couch knows all of your secrets.Your couch has seen you do things.You hate other people's couches.They suck.And are not as soft or plush as yours.There are crumbs on your couch.There are crumbs in the cracks of your couch.You've lost your remote in your couch.You've found your remote in your couch.You've found money in your couch!Your couch gives you happiness!You eat your meals on your couch.Your couch is funny.Your couch makes you laugh.Your couch makes you feel safe and warm inside.You'd rather watch a movie on your couch than on your bed.You've been called a couch potato.You've been called a couch eggplant.When you go out people always ask where your couch is.You adopt couches off the street in the hopes of starting a couch family.Honestly, you just want to sit on your couch all day and do nothingYou DO sit on your couch all day and do nothing.Sitting on your couch seems like more fun than literally anything else.Your feet/legs have fallen asleep from sitting on a couch too long.You've had to be surgically removed from a couch.Your mom has yelled at you to get off the couch.You ignore your mom's yells because she can't tell you what to do.It's a struggle to physically lift yourself from the couch.You miss your couch when you are not on it.You fantasize about going home to sit on your couch.You fantasize about all the fluffy couches in the world and hope to one day make them yours.When you see someone's couch, you like to know about the couch, where it came from, the firmness, etc.Couch is love.Couch is life.Couch is the only thing that matters.Couch is who you are.Couch is universe.Couch is everything.You are single and your couch is your significant other.
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