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24 Things You Only Do When You're Drunk

You booze, you lose.

1. Become indiscriminately amorous.

2. Dance aggressively, with no respect for other people's personal space.

3. Attempt choreographed dance moves with your friends.

4. Suddenly remember a key skill from your youth, and insist on demonstrating it.

5. Impulse-buy stupid things on Amazon/eBay.

6. Convince yourself that karaoke is a good idea.

This is always the moment you realise you have AN AWFUL LOT OF FEELINGS, which you can only express by SHOUTING.

And you go on shouting, even when you don't really know the words.

7. Have a nice lie down in the street.

8. Chat to complete strangers in the toilets.

9. Regard a Jägerbomb with anything other than fear and revulsion.

10. Overshare on Facebook.

11. Leave a mean comment on someone else's status.

12. Tweet something dumb that you'll regret in the morning.

13. Make unwanted physical advances.

14. Have arguments about trivial things that escalate really dramatically and end up breaking a decade-long friendship.

15. Tell your friends exactly what you think of them.

16. Buy endless rounds, as if money has no meaning.

17. Decide that somebody is your soulmate forever, despite only having just met them in a taxi queue.

18. Make really brilliant plans that you then forget the next day.

19. Share your innermost feelings.

20. Reveal inappropriate secrets.

21. Carry home something random you found in the street.

22. Ask the cab driver to put on Magic FM, and could he please turn it up?

23. Fall asleep on public transport and wake up at the end of the line.

24. Text your ex.