How Socially Awkward Are You?

1. It’s time to leave a party.

Give the entire room a wave and a strident “Bye everyone.”

Seek out the people you know best, say goodbye to them, and make plans to meet up again.

Mumble a few halfhearted farewells before making for the door.

Slope off without saying a word to anyone, thereby avoiding any hug/handshake awkwardness.

2. You find yourself sharing a lift with a work colleague you don’t know very well.

Inquire enthusiastically about their life outside work.

Engage in chitchat about the weather.

Stare at the floor. Maintain absolute silence at all costs.

Accidentally break wind. Rehearse the incident obsessively in your mind for the next 20 years.

3. Leaving work, you spot a colleague walking just ahead of you on the street.

Speed up, say hi, and enjoy a companionable chat all the way to your bus stop.

Pretend you haven’t seen them.

Slow your walking pace so as to put distance between you.

Turn round and walk in the opposite direction, tripping over your shoelaces in the process.

4. You're getting your hair cut.

Chat garrulously to the hairdresser the whole time.

Exchange a few words for politeness’ sake, then lapse into cheerful silence.

Ostentatiously read a book/magazine/stare at your phone.

Close your eyes and pretend to sleep.

5. You realise you are walking the wrong way down the street.

Turn 'round and correct your mistake. Who cares what people think?

Pretend to tie your shoelaces before turning back.

Give your phone a purposeful glance, so as to communicate to any observers: “This text changes things. I must turn back.”

Duck into the nearest shop and kill time until all possible onlookers have moved on.

6. You are called upon to introduce someone at a party, but realize you can’t remember their name.

Be honest. Say straight away, “I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”

Make a wild guess.

Fudge it. Address the person as “fella” or “mate."

Just run out of the room and never explain.

7. You get stuck talking to someone boring at a party.

Flash a charming smile and say, "Lovely to meet you, but I really must circulate."

Pretend you need to go to the loo, and excuse yourself.

Start sighing loudly and checking your watch, hoping they’ll get the message and leave you alone.

Leave abruptly, muttering something vague about “going through a lot of shit at the moment.”

8. You’re out for dinner with friends, and everyone is telling jokes. It's your turn.

Effortlessly recall a humdinger, and recite it flawlessly, sending everyone into hysterics.

Mumble something about “not being a joke-telling kind of person.”

Start telling a joke. Realize, with mounting horror, that you’ve forgotten how it ends.

Burst into tears, hoping to divert the topic of conversation.

9. After concluding business with a client, you say goodbye — only to realize you are walking in the same direction.

Continue the conversation, shifting smoothly from business to non-work topics.

Pretend you’ve left your phone behind, and head back to the office.

Walk the other way, thereby inconveniencing yourself and ruining your commute.

Let out a guttural wail of despair.

10. You greet a male friend by going in for a hug. He extends a hand.

Make light of the confusion. It’s no big deal.

Work out a complex maneuver that combines handshake with hug. Make it look deliberate.

Say, “Well this is awkward.”

Kill yourself.