1. Paint drying.
2. Paint drying on a wall.
3. Paint drying in a paint can.
4. A closed paint can.
5. Question Time.
6. That machine that mixes paint, mixing paint.
7. That machine that mixes paint, not mixing paint.
8. Dried paint.
9. Alan Shearer talking.
10. A documentary about why Eurovision is actually amazing.
11. A documentary about why Eurovision is actually fixed.
12. A movie when the sound is a few seconds out of sync.
13. The remake of Lethal Weapon.
14. The remake of Starship Troopers.
15. The probably-not-even-happening Mrs. Doubtfire 2.
16. The extended editions of Lord of the Rings, with commentary tracks.
17. Andy Warhol’s 5hr documentary of a man sleeping.
18. Modern Times Forever, the 10-day long art film.
20. People discussing 90s nostalgia in great academic detail.
21. iTunes library being organised by someone else. Wrongly.
22. A banana going mouldy.
23. An orange going mouldy.
24. A pineapple going mouldy.
25. Someone removing a blackhead.
26. The One Direction documentary.
27. The Katy Perry documentary.
28. The Justin Bieber documentary.
29. Every single Kanye West rant, in a row.
30. Rotisserie chickens, rotating.
31. A carpenter painstakingly varnishing a bench.
32. An old woman carefully tracking back in her knitting to find the dropped stitch.
33. A co-worker going through their social network notifications.
34. The sky when it’s cloudy.
35. The sky when it’s cloudy, but you can’t actually see the clouds because all it’s just grey.
36. Updates downloading for your computer.
37. Other people being drunk, while sober.
38. Other people being stoned, while sober.
39. The bus not coming.
41. Shopping TV.
42. Whatever MTV shows now instead of music video.
43. Furniture adverts.
44. An hour-long IKEA advert.
45. Every commercial ever made, in a row.
46. A dentist preparing for your examination.
47. Two of your friends who used to go out having a conversation that is so very awkward.
48. Someone else play video games.
49. Someone else shopping.
50. Someone else cooking food that isn’t for you.
51. Someone else trying to remember the name of a movie, but not being able to and not letting the conversation carry on until they have.
52. Piers Morgan. Scratch that, actually. Too far.
1. Paint drying.