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    Posted on Feb 28, 2013

    Retta Is The Only Person You Need To Follow On Twitter

    She's mastered the artform. Sorry, everyone else.

    This is Retta. She plays Donna on "Parks and Recreation."

    Theo Wargo / Getty Images

    And she's amazing.

    This is Retta on Twitter, @unfoRETTAble.

    Via Twitter: @unfoRETTAble

    She's perfect, and you should follow her.

    Retta is comfortable in her own skin.

    Stopped 4 a Thai massage on the way home and dude was so deep widdit I actually let out an audible "Get it son!" He did not understand me.

    Stopped 4 a Thai massage on the way home and dude was so deep widdit I actually let out an audible "Get it son!"

    He did not understand me.-- Retta

    She's self-aware.

    I need to hurry up and become an American icon before Kenan Thompson leaves SNL.

    I need to hurry up and become an American icon before Kenan Thompson leaves SNL.-- Retta

    She's honest.

    Who else upon hearing mention of kegels in a film immediately begins kegeling? #Guilty #KeepItTightKeepItRight

    Who else upon hearing mention of kegels in a film immediately begins kegeling?

    #Guilty #KeepItTightKeepItRight-- Retta

    Like, REALLY honest.

    You know it’s freezing when your nips hurt. I could cut glass with these things.

    You know it’s freezing when your nips hurt. I could cut glass with these things.-- Retta

    But most importantly, Retta is the QUEEN of livetweeting.

    She watches "Smash."

    NBC

    Derek says he wants something raw and OF COURSE Karen thinks to call Too Angry 4 Life Frick & Dead Arms Frack. #PuhLease #SMASH

    Derek says he wants something raw and OF COURSE Karen thinks to call Too Angry 4 Life Frick & Dead Arms Frack.

    #PuhLease
    #SMASH-- Retta

    I saw Gypsy at a community theater in Temecula and it had more sex appeal than this number. This 2-step is NOT arousing. #SMASH

    I saw Gypsy at a community theater in Temecula and it had more sex appeal than this number. This 2-step is NOT arousing.

    #SMASH-- Retta

    Um, when did they rehearse ANY of this???? #TheVampireDiaries is more believable than this episode of #SMASH.

    Um, when did they rehearse ANY of this????

    #TheVampireDiaries is more believable than this episode of #SMASH.-- Retta

    She watches "Girls."

    HBO

    Omigod sex in a graveyard w/a 19 year-old wearing denim shorts is 2 of my sex nightmares rolled into 1!! #GIRLS

    Omigod sex in a graveyard w/a 19 year-old wearing denim shorts is 2 of my sex nightmares rolled into 1!!

    #GIRLS-- Retta

    How MANY times am I gonna have to see Hannah pee in this episode? #GIRLS

    How MANY times am I gonna have to see Hannah pee in this episode?

    #GIRLS-- Retta

    If Jessa was my friend (she’d never be) & left me at her dad’s raggedy ass crib after shaming me into eating bunny meat, I’d cut her. #GIRLS

    If Jessa was my friend (she’d never be) & left me at her dad’s raggedy ass crib after shaming me into eating bunny meat, I’d cut her.
    #GIRLS-- Retta

    She watches "Scandal."

    NBC

    Mellie ain’t slick. Her scheming is going to come back and bite her in her conniving ass. #SCANDAL

    Mellie ain’t slick. Her scheming is going to come back and bite her in her conniving ass.

    #SCANDAL-- Retta

    Careful Fitz. U gon’ burn a hole through Liv’s dress if u keep staring like that. Or is that what you’re hoping? Too late sucka. #SCANDAL

    Careful Fitz. U gon’ burn a hole through Liv’s dress if u keep staring like that. Or is that what you’re hoping? Too late sucka.

    #SCANDAL-- Retta

    Ima need Huck to shower. #SCANDAL

    Ima need Huck to shower.

    #SCANDAL-- Retta

    She watches "The Walking Dead."

    AMC

    I feel like one-eye coulda done a better job with that eye patch. #Lazy #TheWalkingDead

    I feel like one-eye coulda done a better job with that eye patch.

    #Lazy

    #TheWalkingDead-- Retta

    Why Rick so stubborn? Y’all gon need some back up son + all the other black folk on the show are dead. Help a bruthuh out. #MoNegroesPlease

    Why Rick so stubborn? Y’all gon need some back up son + all the other black folk on the show are dead. Help a bruthuh out.

    #MoNegroesPlease-- Retta

    Just b/c it’s end of days don’t mean we should be racially insensitive. #KoreanNotChinese #TheWalkingDead

    Just b/c it’s end of days don’t mean we should be racially insensitive.

    #KoreanNotChinese

    #TheWalkingDead-- Retta

    She watches "Downton Abbey."

    PBS

    Aw shit! Mr. Bates lookin’ dapper like a muhfuhkuh. #SayWord #DowntonAbbey

    Aw shit! Mr. Bates lookin’ dapper like a muhfuhkuh.

    #SayWord

    #DowntonAbbey-- Retta

    LOLOLOLOL Omigod did the earl just say that the lads at Eton were ‘bout it, ‘bout it?!?!?! #OverHereRolling #ICant #DowntonAbbey

    LOLOLOLOL

    Omigod did the earl just say that the lads at Eton were ‘bout it, ‘bout it?!?!?!

    #OverHereRolling #ICant
    #DowntonAbbey-- Retta

    If this fool doesn’t stop w/ this ridiculous dining room tutorial of cricket …someone’s gonna crack his “delicate but strong” ass. #Downton

    If this fool doesn’t stop w/ this ridiculous dining room tutorial of cricket …someone’s gonna crack his “delicate but strong” ass.

    #Downton-- Retta

    She watches "The Vampire Diaries."

    The CW

    “What’s Aramaic?” Oh Jeremy. If y’all went to as many classes as ya do dances you’d know the answer to that. #TheVampireDiaries

    “What’s Aramaic?”

    Oh Jeremy. If y’all went to as many classes as ya do dances you’d know the answer to that.

    #TheVampireDiaries-- Retta

    Wow this dude’s got ALL KINDS of gadgets. He’s the Bruce Wayne of vamp hunters. #TheVampireDiaries

    Wow this dude’s got ALL KINDS of gadgets. He’s the Bruce Wayne of vamp hunters.

    #TheVampireDiaries-- Retta

    WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU??????? Did this bitch just- I’m at a loss, I can’t even, was he wearing, WHAAAAAT?!?! #TheVampireDiaries

    WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU???????

    Did this bitch just-

    I’m at a loss, I can’t even, was he wearing, WHAAAAAT?!?!

    #TheVampireDiaries-- Retta

    Following Retta is like watching TV with Retta.

    Via twitpic.com

    And she's probably not going to come over and watch TV with you, so this is the next best thing.

    So go ahead.

    Just remember, she doesn't want to hear your complaints.

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