1. Erm, what soft patch?

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2. This just sounds cold and uncomfortable.

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3. Uh, OK.

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4. So, "Indian rug burn" his dick??

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5. And this sounds just painful.

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6. OK, this legitimately doesn't make sense. "Dribble it any body you need?"

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7. Please don't.

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8. WHAT?! NO!

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9. NO NO NO.

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To be fair, this was a tip based on Orphan Black, but, still! No.