We recently asked parents of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us things their kids do that they secretly dislike. Here are the shocking results:
1. "My 18-year-old daughter shares every aspect of our lives with her friends in a group chat. They don't need to see a picture of me after I've fallen asleep on the couch. It's none of their business when my husband and I get into a stupid 30-second argument. Any time she sees or hears anything remotely interesting, she starts typing. I hate it."
2. "My oldest daughter is 8 and is extremely intelligent, which is amazing — but she considers herself superior to her peers and her siblings, and honestly, probably me. She speaks so well and loves to read, something I love as an avid reader myself. But she carries a chip on her shoulder because while her friends are watching YouTube videos, she's reading novels far beyond her years. It has made her quite cocky, and I absolutely dread what her teens will be like."
—27, South Carolina
3. "My 10-year-old son PREFERS to be dirty. I get that he's a kid, but he WANTS to be *stinky* all the time. He thinks it's funny to smell like B.O. or rotten feet, and claims that 'it smells GOOD to him.' I don't know where I went wrong with this child. I really hope he grows out of it."
4. "I really, really dislike my step-daughter. She is in her early 20s, and her dad and I have been married for almost 20 years. She has no contact with her biological mother; I've raised her from the time she was 5 and have always been available when she needed me. I really dislike her because after all of this time, love, effort, and trying with her, she still sees me as an intruder. She is selfish, rude, manipulative, and ungrateful. She will say things to purposefully hurt me, will be very clear that she only buys gifts for her dad, and will ignore me while she is in my home."
"I used to try to pick my battles with her, but at this point, I have honestly given up and have stopped trying. I used to introduce her as my daughter, but now she's just someone who is in my husband's family."
—48, United States
5. "My son has ZERO drive or ambition. He's in high school, and if I would allow it, I think he would literally stay in his room for weeks as long as he had his PS5, food, and Mountain Dew. He never plans or thinks about the future, and I'm the total opposite. My fear is that he's going to be 40 years old living in the basement."
—39, California
6. "At least once a week, I’m wondering if anyone wants to take my kids off my hands for a month. The damn disrespect sometimes. I like that my kids can talk to me about issues, but I could go without my sons telling me if I look fat or my breath smells. My 13-year-old thinks he’s grown and throws a tantrum when I ask him to do anything."
"Is it common for teens to be lazy as hell? Is that a puberty thing? My 13-year-old doesn’t even hug me properly; he gives me a side hug and pats my back."
7. "My oldest is 23; we were comfortable when he was growing up — not wealthy, but didn't struggle either — but now he has an 'I deserve the best of everything' attitude that's just shocking to me. He is graduating from college in May and expects to rent a fancy apartment in some swanky downtown Chicago high-rise with every possible amenity. This kid doesn't even have a job yet. He didn't work at all during the school year all through college, and when I quit giving him grocery money senior year, he was incensed and still wouldn't get a job."
"I very much dislike his spoiled, entitled attitude. He wasn't raised like that. I was a private school teacher his whole life; we lived in apartments, I drive a Ford Focus — we did not live a fancy life; we lived a normal, fine life. No idea why he thinks he deserves ALL THAT when he is just starting out and has paid no dues whatsoever."
—51, Illinois
8. "It’s not so much that I 'hate' it, but my fourth-grader apparently maxed out a test that said he has eighth grade reading, comprehension, math, etc. levels. He’s super smart, and will definitely surpass me in intelligence soon if he hasn’t already — and that’s a bunch of intimidating and scary thoughts."
"Where do we go from here? How can I help him reach his full potential? How will he not think his parents are idiots?"
9. "Being a work-from-home mom full-time to two kids, I’m exhausted by the end of the day. I don’t want to play, be touched, or be talked to. My daughter, who is 9, will know how exhausted I am and will purposely lay all over me. If I go sit in bed for a hot second to breathe, she has to come in my room and jump on my bed and touch my face. I’ve told her repeatedly I need some down time, and she will not leave me alone, despite me begging for her to go. If I say, 'Go watch TV,' she pouts and tells me that I don’t like her and would rather lay down. She’s just very vindictive, despite me always doing things with her."
"My husband and I try to tell her not to do that, but she will literally sit outside my door and cry. She will also tell me I love my son more, if I hug him first or am affectionate with him. I give her lots of hugs and kisses, just as much as him, even spending way more one-on-one with her. She’s exhausting, and we clash. I’m very introverted and she’s extroverted. We don’t blend well."
—37, Pennsylvania
10. "I still have young children, but my 3-year-old son still hits, bites, and kicks so much that I genuinely worry and am so scared to see how this behavior grows as he gets older. I know it’s 'normal' to an extent, but he is old enough to know it’s wrong, and he does it anyway because he thinks it’s funny."
11. "My 5-year-old is so competitive with her friends. She has to be better than them at everything, or she’ll leave a game or playtime. It drives me nuts and makes me feel like an awful mom that she can’t just enjoy her friends’ talents."
"Not to mention, it’s super embarrassing to have a kid bawling on the playground because another kid can climb higher than she can."
12. "I hate my kid's ungratefulness. I've always tried to give my kids independence so they can have self-confidence and proper autonomy when they're older. They wash their own clothes, complete their chores, and can go out, don't force education on them. I always say, 'What you invest in yourself is the return you will receive.' At 13, my eldest now believes she's entitled to all the freedom just because she knows how to do a few things here and there."
"As much as I'm proud of them, their entitlement and attitude just get to me. They think they can talk to me with attitude just because they can wash their underwear. Hello, I provide the quarters, soap, dryer sheets, softener, boost scents, Clorox, and much much more! You're not fully independent yet!"
—31, California
13. "My oldest child is MEAN and seems to take enjoyment out of making other people feel bad. They also constantly lie. I've tried doctors, therapists, but nothing works for them. I am exhausted and cannot wait until they move out."
14. "At 9, she's more organized than I'll ever be. It drives me nuts to be micromanaged by a child."
—42, United States
15. "My son is 19, still at home, and his most annoying feature is that he has never, EVER been able to modulate the volume of his voice. We've done speech evals, hearing, etc. It's not anything that falls under what those services deal with. He always has and always will be loud as f**k. I call it 'yalking,' and when he was little, I used to tell him my ears needed a nap."
"Everything else that annoys me is a direct result of my parenting, so boo/hiss to me on that."
16. "My son, 8, is a smart, funny, generous, and empathetic kid. I'm proud of him in every way. I love hanging out with him, but he has this one friend who I find extremely obnoxious. Whenever my son hangs out with him, he imitates his behavior for days. It drives me nuts. I get that you are influenced by your friends, but it just kills me to see my son mimic the way this kid talks and behaves. I just want my son to be himself, even around bullish personalities."
—40, The Netherlands
17. "The entitlement mentality. We have five children, and my 18-year-old thinks we should go broke to make sure she can sleep all day and play video games all night. Anytime we talk to her about it, she goes on social media where all these random strangers tell her how wrong her parents are for setting expectations and not respecting her life choices at 18, but she won’t get a job so she can pay for her lifestyle or move out. No one told me that the worst challenge of parenting would be when they reach adult age."
—37, Tennessee
18. "This is going to sound terrible, but my 11-year-old daughter talks way too much! An excessive amount of talking. Like, 99% of the time, she is literally just talking to herself, but she is ALWAYS saying something! I will be in the middle of a phone call or a conversation, and she just starts talking about something random that has nothing to do with what is currently happening. When I’m tired at the end of the night and trying to get ready for bed, she gets up at least five times to come into my room and tell me a joke or random story. I love her with all my heart, but I desperately crave some quiet time."
19. "My son is grown, but he is and always has been very needy. He is an only child, and I thought it would be better as he grew older, but it’s worse. He texts me or calls me over eight times a day and panics if I don’t respond in a nanosecond. I love him so much, but it’s overwhelming."
"He’s not a momma's boy in the classic sense of the word, and I encourage him to go out with his friends and date. He started his own business, and even though he works constantly, it hasn’t eased up. We have standing dates twice a week in addition to the calls and texts. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and I know I should be grateful, but it’s a lot."
20. "The constant attitude, back talk, disrespect, and just plain disregard for anyone who tries to tell him anything. I thought it was only an issue at home, but turns out that he’s like that at school, and he’s only 8. I’m hoping it’s just a phase as I’ve tried everything I know to do to correct it."
"It makes me feel like I’m failing as a mother, and sometimes, it brings me to tears on days it gets really bad."
21. "I dislike him as a person. Period. He is selfish, mean, lazy, a bully, quick to anger, and plays the victim. He can play nice if you are doing something for him, but is dismissive and forgets all about you when you are no longer of use to him. He justifies his negative behavior and never takes responsibility for his own actions. There is always someone else to blame. I really dislike him."
—40, United States
22. "I HATE this: Whenever I tell him not to do something, he just does it more! Does anyone else have this problem?"
"This happened yesterday: Him tapping his tongue while I am trying to have a nap. Me: 'Please stop.' He continues doing it, but quieter. Once he thinks that I’m asleep, he goes back to loud tapping."
23. "My oldest is so unsure of himself; he constantly needs reassurance from me about everything. Until he was about 8, he would ask to go to the bathroom when we were at home every time he needed to go, despite me telling him every time that he didn’t need to ask. I've been trying my best to teach him more confidence in his own decisions. My middle child is a straight-up a**hole. He thinks it’s funny to do mean and rude things to people, even though it's never tolerated. He's getting better and is only 4, so he has time to change his mean ways. My youngest is only 3 months old, but she fights sleep so much, and I’m just plain exhausted at this point."
"Parenting is hard, and we are all out here doing our best."
24. "I would like it a lot if my son was more considerate of others' feelings. I get that he appreciates the truth, but there are better ways of saying things."
25. "My oldest (20) is so sensitive that if I at all imply something could be done better or if I’m on my phone too much, she will shut down, leave, and send long texts about how I don’t love her — which ironically makes me NOT want to be loving."
—37, Texas
26. "My one kid is SO lazy, I could cry. Her sister is probably more typical in that she does some chores and will absolutely respond proactively if I need something. Most days, the other one wouldn’t pee on me if my hair were on fire. We try to make housework 'non-conditional'; that is, we don’t pay them anything for doing what they need to do as members of the household."
"I'm hoping it’s a phase, as many teenagers are like this."
And finally...
27. "She is a pathological liar. It started when she was young, just little lies about little things. It was cute, always innocent, but we did correct her. As she got older, her lies got bigger. Again, we let her know that we knew she was lying and tried to correct the behavior, but apparently, she continued to lie about my husband and I, which has TWICE resulted in the police wrongly being contacted."
"A year later, she told an even WORSE lie to one of her friends about my husband. Her friend rightly freaked out, and HE contacted the police on her behalf. Once the police showed up, she admitted that she lied, but at this point, I was DONE. Twice she has endangered my whole family with her lies. I love her, but at this point, I don't like her — nor do I trust her."
—Anonymous, United States
Parents, have you had any similar experiences or stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.