1. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Look for the guy who shit in my mouth. Then brush my teeth.
2. When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
Good old-fashioned beer.
3. What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
"Sorry."
4. What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
A restaurant in Australia.
5. Who is the last person that called or texted you?
Ha. Heath Cullens who is a director for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and a good friend. Good timing, Heath, that's free press!
6. What's the wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
My son and our dog.
7. What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
Probably the 100-year-old man who shoved my wife out of his way last night without saying anything to her. We had a good laugh about it.
8. What is your TV guilty pleasure?
Million Dollar Listing LA.
9. What's the first CD you bought?
The Pixies.
10. And what music are you currently listening to?
Mariachi music.
11. What is the one food you cannot resist?
Hot sauce.
12. What movie makes you laugh the most?
Waiting for Guffman.
13. What toppings do you like on your pizza?
Oregano, chili peppers, garlic salt.
14. What drives you absolutely crazy?
People chewing with their mouths open.
15. What was your first online screen name?
Probably something dumb like Charlie Day.
16. What’s the last thing you copied & pasted on your phone?
A movie poster that looked just like an Always Sunny promo photo to text to a friend.
17. What’s your favorite curse word?
I'm an big fan of "go fuck yourself."
18. What's your favorite emoji?
I find a thumbs-up really gets the job done most of the time.
19. Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
I say play with both but own neither. I like things that can sleep though the night.
20. New York or Los Angeles?
Both. I don't have to choose. I'm a grown man.
21. Twitter or Instagram?
Instagram.
22. Bacon or Nutella?
Bacon.
23. Britney or Christina?
Neither.
24. Coffee or tea?
Coffee.
25. NSYNC or BSB?
I had to google what those letters meant.
26. 2 a.m. or 2 p.m.?
2 p.m. — nothing good ever happens at 2 a.m.
What is this?
28. Kitten Mittens or Fight Milk?
Kitten in mittens ON Fight Milk.
29. Dayman or Nightman?
Dayman, naturally.
30. And finally: tell us a secret.
There is a Santa Claus and it's me and I know what you've done!