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24 Questions Straight Women Have For Men About Sex

"Who's your daddy?" LITERALLY NOT YOU.

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1. Why do you sometimes finish in three minutes and sometimes it takes 20 minutes?

Bravo

OK, let's wrap this up, I need to do my laundry.

2. Why do you ALWAYS have a boner in the morning?

Focus Features

What the hell are you dreaming about?

3. Do you really always have a condom in your wallet?

NBC

I guess you're just an optimist.

4. Is there a position you generally prefer?

NBC

Besides "all."

5. How often do you *actually* think about sex?

CW

Like are you thinking about it right now?

6. Do you like hand jobs or do you just think about how much better you are at them the entire time?

Because that's what we think about when you're fingering us, tbh.

7. When you lose an erection — is it because of something we did?

Universal Pictures

Or does it really happen to all guys?

8. Have you ever masturbated into a sock?

Universal Pictures

Or tried to fuck a pie?

9. Why do you want to do butt stuff to us but don't want it done back to you?

Universal Pictures

We get it — you're not comfortable with your sexuality!

10. Do you think it's *actually* acceptable to not warn someone when you're about to ejaculate?

E! Network

BECAUSE IT'S NOT.

11. What is the fascination of ejaculating on someone?

HBO

We are not fire hydrants. You can not mark your territory on us.

12. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Universal Pictures

Because we definitely have for you.

13. Why don't some of you spend more time on foreplay?

The CW

It's a marathon...not a race. ;)

14. Why do some of you expect us to keep it groomed if you don't groom yourself?

W Network

Not trying to go on a safari!

15. Do you think about other things during sex, besides sex?

Camelot Pictures

Because we have all wondered at some point whether or not we left our oven on.

16. Does it *actually* feel better without a condom?

Claudie Ossard Productions

Like good enough to have a kid????

17. How often do you masturbate?

Paramount Pictures

More than once a day? Twice a day?

18. Do you prefer doing it with the lights on or off?

Via no-hate-all-class.tumblr.com

Let's save electricity!

19. Does it actually matter what kind of underwear we're wearing?

Universal Pictures

Or would you still rip my granny panties off me?

20. Do queefs freak you out?

Via gifmovie.tumblr.com

YOU'RE THE ONE PUSHING ALL THAT AIR UP INTO US.

21. Why do you have an obsession with spanking us?

NBC Universal

And are you gonna get freaked out if we spank you back?

22. Who told some of you to try and fit as many fingers inside of us as you can when fingering us?

Universal Pictures

And also, please cut your fingernails.

23. Do you expect women to moan as much as porn stars do?

Castle Rock Entertainment

This isn't a production. I have neighbors.

24. And does it actually turn you on when someone calls you daddy?

NBC

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

...literally not you.

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