Hi there, my name is Lara, and I spend a solid portion of my life sitting on my couch, getting high, and watching TV. Part of this is because I have chronic pain and I use cannabis as pain medicine, but another part of this is just because I like getting high and watching TV!
Because of my love of TV and time spent on the couch, recently myself (and apparently 10 million other people on this earth) signed up for Disney's new streaming service, Disney+.
As someone who grew up in an extremely small town in the midwest, I didn't have cable TV until college. I never watched the Disney channel as a kid, because I didn't have access to it, and therefore I missed out on all the Lizzie McGuire and That's So Raven cultural moments. And I only recently watched my first ever DCOM, High School Musical.
Therefore, there was no question that it was time for me to do the work my life has been leading up to thus far: getting high and watching Camp Rock for the first time.
Here are the thoughts I had while watching:
1. Oh my GOD the Jonas Brothers’ hair lololol. Flat irons were such a thing in 2008. This is historically accurate.
2. Woah we’re starting right off the bat with a song? Alright I’ll take it.
3. Demi with bangs is a look. Should I get bangs?
4. "Mitchie's Songs." Is Mitchie Demi? Who is Mitchie? I guess I’ll learn but like… what kind of name is Mitchie, IDK?
5. Demi is leaving for school with her backpack fully unzipped like……...how do you not notice that?
6. Joe Jonas honestly has the BEST eyebrows. God.
7. Connect Three haha. I get it. Connect Four is a good game though.
8. Imagine learning about your fave musician on the local news and not on Twitter! What a time!
9. This mom has gotta take a hint and send her daughter to whatever the hell “Camp Rock” is.
10. Well NVM, obviously she does because that’s the name of this movie lol. I got it.
11. Demi didn’t eat a damn bite of that cheese omelet after raving about how good it was.
12. OH, Demi is Mitchie. Wow. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting that. I guess it’s my own fault.
13. Ok no offense to this entire movie but they really couldn’t come up with a better name for this camp than “Camp Rock”???
14. OH MY GOD, Mitchie’s mom is out here pulling up to camp in a damn UPS truck.
15. I’m 99% sure I owned the same shirt as this blonde limo girl in 2009. I guess I love this for me.
16. I wasn’t expecting this camp director guy to be Australian. I’m on board though.
17. HOLY SHIT, that’s the Missy Elliott music video girl.
18. And she’s wearing those Hot Topic sweat bands, god I love this.
19. If I had to sing to say hi to someone like at this camp I would absolutely quit.
20. Hahaha the flat ironed Jonas Brother hair is NEVER going to get old.
21. Is Kevin wearing……….a shawl?
22. The amount of burger they have just sitting in a pile is ASTOUNDING. Also I am hungry.
23. Wasn’t Demi at school just yesterday? And she’s already at camp? Is that how summer camp works? I don’t know. I only went once and it was for like three days so I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count.
24. Wow I always wanted a velour tracksuit and this movie really might push me over the edge into buying one.
25. Omg I love a flip phone moment involving the Jonas Brothers. This is everything I ever could have asked for and more.
26. There is absolutely no way in hell that stans wouldn’t look in the trees for Mr. Gray or whatever his name is.
27. Yes Demi sing it. There’s a 99% chance that I will download the soundtrack immediately after this. I am who I am.
28. Um ok Lola Scott is an icon??? This song is a BOP???
29. I might make this song my next instagram caption, I’m not even joking. "Who's got what it takes to be my guy? What it takes to make me shine? What it takes to get me fired up?"
30. Mitchie is lying about her mom’s profession and I am stressed. Also I feel like crying. I don’t know, ok?
31. Mitchie nooo don’t leave the cool girl for the mean girls.
32. Ok to be honest I love the energy of Tess’s mom adding a charm to a bracelet that isn’t hers every time she wins a Grammy.
33. Alright I’m already pissed in advance about Tess inevitably stealing Mitchie’s songs.
34. Love that the vibe of this camp is like “a bunch of random guitar decorations that we found at Party City.”
35. Wow this Australian guy (sorry I literally cannot remember who he is I know this is bad of me) just threw water on Shane and now Shane is going to have to re-straighten his hair!!
36. Ohhh wow “If the class is a-rockin, I’m glad I came knocking” a classic spin on a SEX JOKE? Witty. I see. I get it.
37. Demi has fucking pipes man.
38. Tess has a sequined fanny pack for her walk through the woods. I’m not not into it. But of course Tess is trying to get Mitchie to join her group. A leech!
39. Demi threw some flour on her face and suddenly this is like Chad Michael Murray in A Cinderella Story and Demi is like Hilary Duff and is unrecognizable even though she basically looks the exact same!
40. Ok no offense because Shane Gray sucks and is rude but SO DOES HAVING FOOD ALLERGIES so I mean, he’s not in the wrong for asking for them to be recognized, that’s all I’m saying!
41. Ok Australian man is fully telling Shane what the fuck is up. He even put his arm around his shoulder to tell him he was teaching hip hop. This camp is wild.
42. “Follow me if you can” lol Shane with the dramatics.
43. OH MY GOD THIS DANCE. How did everyone in this hip hop class know to have a hat? Is that a requirement for a hip hop class?
44. Why is Tess SO obsessed with knowing Mitchie’s entire schedule? Like maybe she went to take a shit this morning, Tess. Chill out.
45. Holy shit has there always been a lake at this camp???
46. *Adds “Too Cool” to my Spotify playlist*
47. Mitchie coming through with the pickup line!! “I know of one girl who would buy that song.”
48. I’m not trying to be dramatic but are these people eating plain spaghetti noodles with no…..sauce? I mean I know that’s not really the point here when there’s a food fight involved but...
49. Shane Gray pulling out the classic man move. Be mean to a girl and then ask for her help! NO SHANE. FIGURE OUT YOUR DUMB SONG ON YOUR OWN.
50. If some dude made me go to a lake and listen to him sing for like 10 min I’d be kind of pissed. He didn’t even give her food first.
51. Oh here we go. “You seem different.” Like, COMPARED TO WHAT SHANE? COMPARED TO WHAT.
52. There are only so many foods that Mitchie can keep hiding behind.
53. "Whatever major loser” lol, oh my god I love Disney.
54. Why are all these people whispering in one another’s ears?
55. Love that Mitchie and Shane are wearing life jackets on this kayak ride. Or is it a canoe? Look, I'll be honest, I don't know. But, SAFETY FIRST.
56. Oh no. Oh no no. Tess saw Mitchie with her mom. I know you guys probably know this. But I’m sad.
57. Oh this Australian guy is Shane Gray’s uncle??? Wow I missed that. The other brothers are here though.
58. You know what? I think this lake has actually been here the entire time.
59. Kevin's character would be into birdhouses. It’s not a bad hobby but birds are terrifying, so IDK.
60. Tess calling out Mitchie in front of EVERYONE wow. WOW. I do not miss high school!!! Are this kids in high school? I really don't even know. All I know is that I am old.
61. Shane you know what you friggin jerk, she listened to you play your dumb songs for HOURS probably. And here you are abandoning her.
62. I love that Mitchie labeled her songs “Mitchie’s Songs” lol. Anyway, rule #1 about things you don’t want to be found: don’t hide them under your mattress.
63. WHAT KIND OF RULES DOES THIS CAMP HAVE? “If a random person accuses another person of theft we search their belongings” where is your search warrant Australian dude???
64. Poor Kevin Jonas lol they really did him dirty with this hair.
65. I’m honestly still unclear on what “Final Jam” even is.
66. The clique is revolting!
67. Oh wow this band (?) is jumping on trampolines???
68. I know Tess sucks and all that but I mean…she has bops. So IDK, I'm kind of torn.
69. @ Tess’s mom: who has their phone on LOUD? I’m pretty sure the vibrate option was a thing even in 2008.
70. Ok let’s be honest, Peggy deserves the trophy. Is there a trophy? I think? Or a solo or something?
71. IS DEMI GOING TO PERFORM OR NOT?
72. Oh thank god.
73. Shane is sort of stealing Mitchie’s moment but I guess I’ll allow it for the duet purposes.
74. Margaret Dupree/Peggy deserves this!!!!!
75. Why are there 28 final jams...
76. Fine, I’ll allow it for this song.
77. I wish I had musical talent.