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27 Signs Eating Healthy Just Isn't For You

You like your food where you can eat it.

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1. Basically, you are ALWAYS hungry...but not for veggies.

And you love food, because duh, who doesn't?

2. But when it comes to eating, you have a serious preference, no matter how hard you fight it.

And that preference is everything that is terrible for you.

3. You've tried telling yourself that you will start eating healthier soon, but it never quite works out the way you plan.

Your diet has been starting next week for two years now.

4. And the only thing you really need a personal trainer for is to have someone to stop you from eating junk food.

Or try to stop you, anyway.


5. You have a very special translation when it comes to the food pyramid.

It's literally just pizza.

7. On the occasion that you DO eat healthy foods, you feel like a damn god.

Everyone worship me!!!


9. You know that, at the end of the day, you will not find solace in the arms of a salad.

Like. If salads had arms. You know what I mean.

11. You are a big fan of pointing out that chocolate is technically very good for you.

It has antioxidants, so eating five Snickers bars = wolfing down a bowl of kale. Basically.


14. You know that true hotness comes from within, which is why you eat Hot Cheetos.


16. Your ideal snack usually involves at least two types of chocolate.

Every food group is represented, if you don't really think about it!


17. Life is short, so you aim to enjoy the ride.

Oh, like eating cheese for every meal is gonna kill me. Come on!

18. You DO eat salad sometimes, it's just that when you add special toppings.

Like Cheetos.

19. You are certain your body actually NEEDS junk food to survive.

This body runs on Dunkin'.

20. You feel personally victimized when you're grocery shopping and only buying junk food and the cashier asks you if you're actually only going to buy junk food.


23. You love splurging and treating delicious treats.

You like your food where you can eat it.

24. You don't only need snacks for yourself, you need them to maintain the health and safety of those around you.


Because, see, if I don't see jellybeans in front of me within the next minute, someone will die.


25. You often try to eat healthy stuff, but unhealthy food is literally everywhere. Calling for you.