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20 Secret Santa Gifts You Won't Believe Actually Exist

Don't get any ideas, jerks.

1. This cruel and terrible joke:

2. This gift, given by someone who panicked the day of, and mindlessly ransacked a 7-11:

3. This poor use of some perfectly nice looking vegetables:

4. This pretty good effort at making a baby in a roasting pan actually seem funny:

5. This portrait of George Washington as a cat:

6. This priceless* work of art:

7. This game that seems like it might be fun, until you shoot the ball once and realize that you have no way to get it back BECAUSE YOU'RE STUCK ON THE TOILET POOPING:

8. These terrible ideas in sticker form:

9. This attempt to suck up to the boss:

10. This subscription box for teenage boys that you wish to humiliate:

11. This person and/or robot, who is going to be really pissed about having been separated from his much-needed booze:

12. These Sweet 'N' Low packets taped to some tinsel:

13. This used USB cord that was actually just an excuse for the gifter to buy himself a new USB cord:

14. This gift, which is ostensibly a refund:

15. This gift, given by someone who just could never figure out what the hell to do with all those pennies, OK?

16. The most passive-aggressive gift of all time:

17. This gift, given by someone who seems to have gotten this game confused with Secret Satan:

18. This gift, which refers to Dora the Explorer as a "bilingual weirdo":

19. This bag of Cheetos, given by someone who did not understand the assignment, and received by someone who also did not understand the assignment:

20. This action figure that someone made of themselves, in order to give to another person: