21 Reasons Why Halloween Is Actually The Worst
You're secretly a Halloween Grinch, and that's OK.
You're under a lot of pressure to dress either sexy or clever.
Either way, Halloween isn't really about being scary so much as it is about trying to get people to like you.
You could spend days working on a funny costume, only to discover that the entire internet has gotten to it first.
There are only so many good memes in a year.
Everybody has a Halloween party, and everyone will be mad if you don't come to theirs.
If you aren't invited to any Halloween parties, you get a nice reminder of your unending loneliness.
Having to awkwardly guess what someone's super clever sexy Halloween costume is.
People suddenly thinking that these kinds of car pranks are hilarious, instead of genuinely troubling to see when you're driving.
Eating candy corn, and being afraid to admit that you think candy corn actually tastes like sugar poops.
If anyone at a party is wearing body paint, that body paint is getting EVERYWHERE.
Seeing people's super upset cats dressed in costumes.
Haunted houses are about paying someone to traumatize you.
That goes double for scary movies screening in the background at parties.
Halloween decorations are actually disgusting.
That's the good fake rat, we only put that out for guests.
When you're at any Halloween party in costume, you will slowly sweat to death.
You have to worry if today is the day you'll find a razor blade in your candy.
Candy loses all of its joy and specialness.
Even real food that is Halloween themed is INTENTIONALLY DISGUSTING.
Pumpkin carving parties are actually just a bunch of drunk people holding knives hacking inexpertly at tough objects.
You will be trying to remove your Halloween makeup until Thanksgiving.
The roaches will get into your rotting pumpkin, and why wouldn't they?
If your actual birthday is anywhere near Halloween, your birthday party always ends up Halloween themed.
Saying that you hate Halloween makes you look like a total grinch.
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