Saying something stupid.When your boss wants to speak with you.A text message that says, "Call me."When you text someone, and they don't text back for a few hours.Being five minutes late.Accidentally farting and having everyone hear it.Unexplained noises.Parties where you don't know anyone.Doctors' appointments.Not knowing whether or not you've locked a door.Random, unexplained twinges of pain.Doing your taxes.Having your parents find out about anything.Not knowing what to do in a natural disaster.When people around you laugh at something and you don't know what they're laughing about.Waiting for someone to accept your Facebook friend request.The dark.A text message that just says "OK."Anything with the word "surprise."Hearing honking in traffic and thinking it's directed at you.Networking.Crowds.Having to use a public bathroom.Dogs.Gross stuff on door handles.Sharing a bed.Accidentally liking a tweet or a Facebook status from someone you like-like.Someone coughing near you.Small holes.Spiders crawling on you while you sleep.Dying alone.Snakes.Sharks.Getting pulled over for texting while driving.The internet going down.Telling jokes that fall flat.Needing to approach someone that you don't know very well in order to start a conversation.Bridges.Blood.Second-hand smoke.Someone judging you for day-drinking.Dirty clothes on the floor.Trash that hasn't been taken out for more than a day.Checking your snail mail.The word "moist."Phone calls from unknown numbers.A Gchat from from someone you haven't spoken to in awhile.Losing your job.Getting gray hair or wrinkles/Eventually getting gray hair or wrinkles.Your age.Your bank account.Being too big for your fat pants.Spilling food on yourself.Your savings account.Your 401K or lack of a 401K.Fleas.Mild clutter.The status of your hair.Washing your hands.Vacations.Grandma asking if you've been to church lately.Family members starting drama.Not being invited to a party.Your relationship status.Food poisoning.A sink full of dirty dishes.An email.Sudden noises.Bumblebees.The feeling that you've forgotten something.Having to poop in public.Anything you've read on the internet.Getting a cup of coffee.A tweet you've written and then immediately regretted.A zit right before an important event.Major clutter.Not having anything to wear.Not knowing what your weekend plans are.When someone who you don't usually talk to wants to "have a chat."A spilled drink.Making someone who is in a bad mood repeat something they've already told you.The DMV.What someone thinks of you.Flying.Leaving the stove on.Running into someone you don't want to talk to.Not remembering if you have enough change in the meter.Driving on with the gas gauge on E.Getting lost.Being stuck in an elevator.Finding a weird mole.Not knowing where the nearest public bathroom is.Being at the cashier at a store and not having enough money.Shaking hands with someone who looks sick.Anyone finding out that you're stalking them on the internet.That someone might notice your body flaws.Being invited to a party with a confusing dress code like "California casual" or "creative cocktail" or "business garden party".That someone might have seen you talking to yourself.Bears.
How Anxious Are You?
Your anxiety quotient is VERY low, which means you are pretty chill. Congratulations: You are probably the person everyone comes to when they are freaking out.
Your anxiety quotient is low, which means that you are on top of things, but you know when to back off and just let things happen. Congratulations, you're probably beloved by waiters and customer service representatives everywhere.
Your anxiety quotient is high. You are seriously overdue for a hug or a shot, whichever you prefer. But it will be a cold day in hell before you let anything slip through the cracks, that's for sure.
Your anxiety quotient is VERY high. Please back away from your computer and go find the nearest slice of cake. Now. Your life may depend on it. We are your friends and we worry.