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21 Kids Who Had No Fucks To Give

We're not offended.

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We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the funniest uncensored thing their kid has ever said. And they did not disappoint. Enjoy..

2. "The cashier at a grocery store was telling my daughter how cute and well behaved she was. My daughter responded, 'Mommy said we can’t talk to people with bad eyebrows.'"


5. "My 3-year-old daughter said, 'Mommy, I need some cock ’n' balls.'”

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"After a lifetime of stunned silence, I finally asked, 'What…do you mean?' She looked at me like I was the asshole in the situation and said, 'COCK’N BALLS. You know, those white balls you put in your ears?'”


6. "When I was a kid, I dressed up as Flower from Bambi for Halloween and a woman asked what I was supposed to be. Apparently I couldn’t say 'skunk' quite right and proudly told her I was a 'cunt.'”

7. "At the grocery store, my 5-year-old son wouldn’t quit grabbing the front of his shorts and when I told him to stop, he replied matter-of-factly, 'It’s not my penis, Mommy, it’s a kitty cat.'"


“He then let out a quiet, but distinct 'MEEEOW!' before stretching out the waistband of his shorts, looking down at his crotch, and saying, ‘Shh! Be quiet!’”



9. "While the cashier was ringing up my feminine products at Target, my 5-year-old loudly proclaimed, 'Ugh! I hate when you’re on your period and have to stick tampons up your butt!'”


13. "When I was 3 or 4, I was with my family at a really nice restaurant. My grandma decided to have the fish, so I promptly yelled, 'Big mom-mom, last time you ate fish your butt exploded!'”

14. "I was picking my daughter up from a playdate at a friend's house. The mom and I were having a pleasant conversation until my 6-year-old daughter came up and proudly told her, 'My mommy and daddy really like to dance naked in their room.'”

15. "My 3-year-old son was pretending to be a bug earlier in the day, so he was wearing a pipe cleaner headband while we were at the grocery store. He said it made him look like a rhinoceros and ran up to a little old lady, pointed at his head and yelled, 'I’m horny!'”

17. "We often take our kids hunting with us, so they’ve seen the whole process of how we put food on our table. Last fall a relative unfortunately passed away and during the wake our 5-year-old stood up and loudly asked, 'When are they gonna take the guts out?'”


Some submissions have been edited for length and clarity.

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