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19 Secrets Teachers Won't Tell You

You bet your ass teachers have favorites.

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1. You totally have favorites.

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2. And least favorites.

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3. There are kids you don't like for literally no reason at all.

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It's just something about her voice. I can't put my finger on it.

4. You're just as scared as students are when you get called to the principal's office.

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WHAT DID I DOOOOOO?

5. You gossip about students with other teachers.

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"Did you hear Billy got expelled? Kid's a total shithead."

6. And you laugh at the dumb stuff kids write on assignments.

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7. You don't always do your own assigned reading.

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To be fair, you've read The Scarlet Letter 12 times and probably don't need to.

8. Movie days are for the days you just don't want to teach.*

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*or you had a late night out.

9. If you want a kid to get a B in the class, the kid will probably get a B in the class.

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Funny how you failed that test, but got an A on that mediocre essay, huh?

10. You totally crush on students' parents.

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*spends an hour getting ready for parent-teacher conferences*

11. You're just as uncomfortable seeing your students outside of class.

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Please don't judge me for taking advantage of the TGI Fridays margarita special.

12. You intentionally have hearing problems.

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I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that because I don't feel like disciplining you right now.

13. Sometimes you curve things because you realize you screwed up and made it too hard.

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Sooooo... I couldn't even pass this. Whoops.

14. You really do have eyes in the back of your head.

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Just because I turned around, doesn't mean I don't know what you're doing.

15. You totally DO care what your students think of you.

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I'm cool, I swear!

16. You purposely call on kids who you don't think did their homework.

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Dead giveaway: When the teacher asks a question and kids all of the sudden become too fascinated with their spiral-bound notebook to look up.

17. When you say you didn't have time to grade those tests, you were probably doing something fun instead.

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Like going out to dinner, or watching Orange Is the New Black, or having a life.

18. You scramble to give graded assignments before finals when you realize your students have only been graded on two things all year.

19. And finally, you have a life outside of school.

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Seriously. Teachers get drunk, and have fun, and maybe have danced on a table or two in their day.

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