I Wrote Eight “Riverdale” Plots As “Am I The Asshole?” Reddit Posts

"I sent my teenage daughter's boyfriend to prison because he makes me feel insecure. AITA?"

You may have heard of a little TV series called Riverdale. It's a totally normal show that involves the highs and lows of high school football, cult leaders with rockets, bear attacks, and murder.

The CW / Courtesy Everett Collection

You might also be familiar with a subreddit called "Am I the Asshole?" (also known as AITA). Basically, people post a situation and call upon the judgment of other Reddit users to determine if they are, in fact, the asshole. Let's just say things can get...um, interesting.

Am I the Asshole? @AITA_reddit

AITA for not participating in my friends "scheme" to convince a restaurant to buy his ketchup? https://t.co/lejLdwlioe

11:31 PM - 01 Mar 2020

@AITA_reddit / Twitter / Via Twitter: @AITA_reddit

Given that both this TV show and this Reddit Community are absolutely wild, I thought it might be fun to combine the two. So without further ado, here's my take on what eight Riverdale plots would look like as AITA posts:

Warning: MAJOR spoilers ahead!!!

1. AITA for singing with another girl at the variety show?

The CW

"I (15M) was supposed to sing and play guitar for my school's variety show, but I was super nervous about it. My totally platonic friend — let's call her 'V1' — could see I was freaking out about performing in front of the whole school, so she offered to sing a duet with me to make me less nervous. 

I mean, it was super nice of V1 and all, but I figured she was just doing it as a favor to me, right? So when this other girl — let's call her 'V2' — said she quit her band and needed someone to perform with, I was like, 'Hey, great! You can sing with me and that totally lets V1 off the hook too! It's a win-win for all of us!' 

Well, except now V1 is SUPER pissed at me. When I told her I was performing with V2 instead and that she was off the hook, she totally went off on me. She said I 'have zero loyalty' and even called me a 'ginger Judas'?? I was honestly shocked that she was so upset. I didn't think it was a big deal at all, but now I'm not sure if I was in the wrong. So, AITA?"

2. AITA for generously throwing my boyfriend a surprise birthday party?

The CW

"I'm honestly so confused and upset right now. I (15F) found out through a mutual friend that my boyfriend's (16M) birthday was coming up. He said he didn't tell me about it because he 'hates his birthday,' which I don't really understand. Anyways, I wanted to do something super nice for him, so I planned a little surprise party with our closest friends. I even told everyone that it was supposed to be inner circle only!

Well, our friends didn't listen. The surprise party started off small, but then it turned into a huge kegger with half the school. BF spent half the night hiding in the garage, which I thought was a little weird, but whatever. When I went to talk to him and see if he was okay, he completely went off on me! He yelled at me and said that I threw the party for myself to prove that I was a great girlfriend. Then, he launched into this whole monologue about how he's a 'weirdo' who 'doesn't fit in and doesn't want to fit in.'

I'm just so baffled by all this. I thought I was doing something nice for him, but now he's not speaking to me! AITA?"

3. AITA for framing my teenage daughter's boyfriend for murder because I don't like him?

The CW

"I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. I'm a loving father to a perfect, beautiful daughter (16F). The problem is, I can't STAND her boyfriend (16M) — let's call him 'Arch.' From day one, this kid has annoyed me. Like, I'm sorry, but there's just something so punchable about his face.

Even though I find Arch incredibly annoying, I've always been GREAT to him. I got him an internship with my prestigious mob — uh, company — and I even gifted him a luxury sports car!!! But then, even after all I've done for him, this little jerk had the nerve to break into my office one night and threaten me. He said I've just been 'manipulating' him and that he's 'going to make his bones once and for all.' I was so taken aback! I mean, who does he think he is?!

Anyways, I thought it was about time someone taught this kid some respect, so I made a few calls and had him arrested for a murder he didn't commit. I really just meant to scare him, but now he's facing possible prison time. It's a bummer for Arch, but it's really not my problem.

I honestly don't think I did anything wrong, but now my daughter isn't speaking to me and is threatening to move out and cut me off. I think she's overreacting. AITA?"

4. AITA for telling my ex-girlfriend to stop wearing my signature color?

The CW

"So, my ex-GF and I (both 16F) recently broke up. It hurts a lot, but I'm doing my best to stay busy and distract myself with new hobbies. I even got a lead role in the school musical, which I'm super stoked about! Here's the thing, though: I was doing perfectly fine until the other day, when my ex had the AUDACITY to show up at school wearing red, which is MY signature color.

Everyone knows red is my thing. Like, I invented red. I am red!! So where does my ex get off thinking she can just start wearing it? It wasn't even subtle, either — she full-on came to school wearing an entirely red outfit. It was ridiculous! Obviously, I was pissed.

Naturally, I told her she needed to stop wearing red. But instead of apologizing and immediately changing outfits like any reasonable person would, my ex tried to tell me that I 'don't own the color red.' So, I told her she needs to pack her locker up and get out of this school. I can't have her walking around the halls wearing my signature color like this!

I think I'm totally in the right, but my ex is really upset about it and some of her friends have been accusing me of overreacting. So, AITA?"

5. AITA for telling another inmate that he doesn't understand the highs and lows of high school football?

The CW

"I (16M) am currently stuck in juvie serving time for a murder I didn't commit. It seriously sucks, but I'm trying to find the silver lining in things. I figured we could all use some cheering up, so I thought it would be nice to organize a little football game for my fellow inmates.

This one dude was being really weird, though. He went on this whole spiel about how he dropped out in the fourth grade to run drugs for his nana. Like, that's sad and all, but nobody asked? I responded, 'That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.' Because he hasn't! But then he just gave me a weird look and seemed kind of pissed off. I honestly don't understand why.

Some of my inmates apparently thought it was 'insensitive' of me to say this. Now, a bunch of the guys keep mocking me and making fun of me for it. I seriously don't get it, but I figured I'd ask...AITA?"

6. AITA for brainwashing a bunch of teenagers into joining my organ-harvesting cult?

The CW

"I honestly don't think I've done anything wrong here, but I just want to be sure. So, me and my wife run a lovely farm, and we're really proud of it. It also happens to double as an organ-harvesting business.

Recently, we started recruiting members from the local high school. And boy, are these kids troubled. I mean REALLY troubled! It's no wonder they turn to us for a sense of belonging and community. We don't trick them or anything, we just simply invite them to join our lifestyle and then perform some casual ceremonies that may or may not alter their minds.

Recently, I've been hearing some talk from the neighbors that our whole operation is 'unethical' and 'morally abhorrent.' But I don't think we're doing anything wrong! I mean, come on — it's just business! People are so sensitive these days.

I'm about to take off in a rocket soon, so I don't have much time, but AITA?"

7. AITA for faking my death?

The CW

"I know this might sound kind of overdramatic and extreme, but let me explain. I (17M) got the opportunity to transfer to a prestigious writing school this year. I've been working on the same manuscript forever and have always wanted to be a professional writer, so I was honestly stoked. But when I started school, I quickly discovered that the other students were total jerks. I don't just mean they were kinda snobby — I mean they were literally plotting to KILL me!! I'm pretty sure they murdered our English teacher too.

I was desperate and knew I had to do something quick. My girlfriend and best friend agreed to help me fake my death, even allowing me to frame them for my murder (they are such great friends!). My dad is the sheriff, so he was in on it too. Luckily, it seems to have worked! The jerks have finally left me alone. You know, since they think I'm dead.

All this has me wondering, though — was this whole thing too much? I heard my best friend's mom was really distraught over my death and worried about her son, which makes me feel kind of bad. I think I just did what I had to do in a tough situation...AITA?"

8. Finally: AITA for being honest with my girlfriend and "ruining" her prom?

The CW

"Let me just start by saying that I know there's certain things about this situation I probably could have handled differently. I also want to make it clear that I love my girlfriend — I know we're young (we are both 17 and seniors in high school), but I really think we're endgame!

It all started when my GF and I got into a big fight because I didn't take her dad to the hospital. Honestly, her dad has always been kind of a jerk to me (he even framed me for murder once), but I still try my best to be civil to him, especially because he's apparently sick. When I ran into him at the gym and saw him almost crush himself with these really heavy weights, I suggested he take it easy. He told me to just mind my own business, so I left him alone. But my GF was REALLY pissed at me for not bringing her dad to the hospital right away, and we got into a huge argument over it.

I needed to blow off some steam, so I decided to go practice music with my best friend — let's call her 'Betsy' (17F). Betsy was also pretty upset because she'd just had a big fight with her boyfriend, who also happens to be my other best friend. I know it sounds bad, but me and Betsy ended up kissing. Neither of us told our partners about it because we didn't want to start any drama, but I couldn't stop thinking about Betsy — I even wrote a song for her. Ultimately, Betsy chose to stay with her BF and I felt bad about everything, so I went back to my GF and tried to forget all of this ever happened.

Here's where things got complicated: My GF found the song I wrote Betsy and assumed it was for her instead. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was actually about Betsy. But then when we were slow-dancing at prom, my GF started talking about putting off going to Harvard so she could stay with me. I knew I couldn't let her do that, so I decided to be honest and tell her the truth about the kiss and the song.

My GF got really upset and stormed off the dance floor. She says I 'ruined' her prom, but I think I did the right thing by telling her the truth. Honestly, I think it was pretty selfless of me! I mean, I didn't have to tell her. So, AITA?"

Want to see any other TV shows or movies as AITA posts? Tell us in the comments!