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    71 Truly Hilarious "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" Moments That'll Honestly Never Get Old

    "I know how to kiss; I've read books!" —Amy to Gina

    Warning: There are some Season 8 spoilers in here! 🚨

    1. When Jake asked five potential suspects to sing "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys and got carried away with actually solving the case.

    Jake: "Number one, could you sing the opening to 'I Want It That Way"? After the suspects sing the song, the victim says to Jake: "It was number five. Number five killed my brother" Jake: "Oh my god, I forgot about that part"
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    2. When Amy was already 10 steps ahead of Jake for the fifth Halloween heist, and Captain Holt was 15 steps ahead, hiding in their bedroom already dressed.

    Jake: "I'm dressed, and I also made breakfast -- wait, where are my eggs?" Captain Holt: "In my belly!"
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    3. When Gina was in a Die Hard–like hostage situation with Jake and Charles and suggested she make a handy flamethrower to hurt the bad guys.

    Gina telling Jake: "We don't need guns -- I have a lighter. We get some hairspray, make some flamethrowers. Let's fry these bitches"
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    4. When Rosa suggested that Holt and Kevin have sex in order to make up, and he responded by hilariously yelling, "BONE?!" in the precinct for an hour.

    Rosa: "I saw you two need to bone." Captain Holt: "How DARE you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer!" (21 minutes later) "BoOoOoOoOoOoONE?!"
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    5. When every member of the 99th Precinct guessed how Holt would react to eating a marshmallow, and Charles' prediction was right on point.

    Jake asks everyone for their best impression of Captain Holt eating a marshmallow for the first time, and each person recites a line, while Boyle says "Ooooohhhh! Mmmmhh mmmmh!" And that's exactly how Holt reacts when he comes in and tries a marshmallow
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    6. When Rosa was nervous to tell Marcus she loved him, and confided in Charles that she's only said it to three family members (one time being a major regret).

    Rosa: "I've only said 'I love you' to three people. My mom, my dad, and my dying grandpa, and one of those I regret." Charles: "Which one?" Rosa: "Grandpa. He beat cancer, so now I look like an idiot"
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    7. When Gina forced Jake to tell her grandma that she died, just to see how she'd react.

    Gina asking Jake if her grandma is crying on the phone after he told her Gina was dead
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    8. When Jake, Amy, and Terry were hiding in Holt's bathroom during his birthday party but ultimately got caught when Amy's dog allergies got the best of her.

    Captain Holt: "Santiago, are you hiding in my bathroom with a dog that you're deathly allergic to?" Amy: "No..."
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    9. When Terry and Holt performed their "Push It" dance routine for Amy while she was in labor, hoping to distract her from the pain.

    Captain Holt and Terry dancing to Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It" in the interrogation room while Amy and Rosa look on in disbelief
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    10. When Charles grossed Jake out with his "Dianne Wiest infection" pun and was ultimately responsible for one of the best cold opens ever.

    Boyle: "Yeah, 'Bullets Over Broadway' was on TV. And I came down with a big ol' Dianne Wiest infection...like yeast!"
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    11. When the precinct was packed full of people during lockdown mode, which caused Gina to both worry and lie at the same time.

    Gina: "I'm 23, I'm a celebrity, and today, I'm gonna die!" Rosa: "Not one word of that is true"
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    12. When Captain Holt showed off his best dance moves and challenged a citizen to a competition instead of eating breakfast.

    Citizen: "Are you gonna arrest me for dancing?" Captain Holt: "You call that dancing?"
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    13. When Jake was getting evicted from his home in Brooklyn and introduced Gina to his "organized" billing/mailing system: the mail tub.

    Jake: "Well, it's possible I missed a letter, but I doubt it. Ooh, let's check the mail tub." Gina: "Mail tub?"
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    14. When Terry was loopy on drugs after almost getting his vasectomy and was completely distracted by Jake's tiny little head.

    Terry: "Dude, your head is so small — where do you keep your brains?"
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    15. When Jake and Amy lied to the squad that they were expecting twins, just so they could see how Boyle would react.

    Jake: "I bet you didn't figure out that we're having...twins!" Boyle's reaction: fainting
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    16. When Terry and Gina checked in on a very sick Rosa resting in the closet, and overheard some pretty dark things she spewed in her sleep.

    Gina: "She talks in her sleep." Rosa: "I'm gonna rip your head off. I'm gonna rip your damn head off, Grandma"
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    17. When Charles went shopping for his wedding suit with Jake and, in classic Charles form, revealed himself in the cringiest way possible.

    Boyle: "One question. Can you see my underwear?" Jake: "Ah, thong! Why are you wearing a thong?" Boyle: "It's my something borrowed"
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    18. When Jake and Amy had a funny-as-heck conversation on the elevator about incorporating the world of Harry Potter into their sex life.

    Jake: "You still annoyed?" Amy: "Yes. You can't keep saying 'mischief managed' after we finish sex." Jake: "It's what Harry says when he needs to clear the Marauder's Map"
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    19. When Gina persuaded Holt to make her his campaign manager while he ran for president of the AAGLYNYCPA (African American Gay and Lesbian New York City Policeman's Association), solely because she has great hair and loves to lie.

    Gina: "You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying"
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    20. When Holt tried to boost the 99's morale during the night shift and taught them how to smile in the best way he knew how.

    Holt: "According to a recent study, the physical act of smiling can improve your mood. Now you all try." Rosa, Terry, Scully, and Hitchcock forcefully smiling at Holt
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    21. When Charles abbreviated his "Save the date" wedding invitations to "STD," and the gang couldn't help but make fun of his naivete.

    Boyle: "STDs. Save the dates. For Vivian and my wedding." Jake: "Hey, just out of curiosity, how many people have you given STDs to?" Boyle: "Lots. Like 100"
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    22. When Rosa confided in Holt about how she was going to break up with Marcus (his nephew) by sending a text that read, "We're done. Goodbye."

    Rosa: "I'm gonna send him a text while he's sleeping that says, 'We're done." Holt: "Clear. Accurate. But do you feel like it's enough?" Rosa: "'We're done. Goodbye.'" Holt: "Yes, that should do it"
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    23. When Amy researched the heck out of Jake's mom before they met, and he asked her if she wanted to be quizzed on it.

    Jake: "What I'm about to say will make you very horny, but you have to try and remember that we are still at work. Do you want me to quiz you?" Amy: "Oh god, yes"
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    24. When Terry was training to get back into the field after a leave of absence and had a hard time adjusting at the shooting range.

    Terry to Captain Holt and Gina: "Guys! How do you breathe? I forgot how to breathe! Is it two in, one out?"
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    25. When Charles took Jake's request to explain a fax machine's function literally and out-Boyled the heck out of himself.

    Boyle: "Okay, imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone"
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    26. When Madeline Wuntch refused to lend Holt a tissue when he was sick, telling him, "If you planned on sneezing, you should've brought your own."

    Captain Holt reacting to Wuntch's harshness in disbelief
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    27. When Jake and Charles were completely shocked by how good-looking, smart, and amazing Hitchcock and Scully used to be as cops back in the '80s.

    Hitchcock: "We were the studs of the 99." Jake: "Well, I'm sure studs is a bit of a...oh my God. I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but..." Charles: "MEOW!" Jake: "That's not what I was gonna say, but honestly yeah MEOW"
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    28. When Gina insulted Amy's sexual relationship with Jake (yet again), and Amy responded with her dorky and lovable charm.

    Gina: "Let me guess: You and Jake are having problems, and you want me to teach you how to kiss." Amy: "What? No, stop that! I know how to kiss — I've read books."
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    29. When Captain Holt tried out a red cap look (à la Paddington Bear), and the entire squad reacted in utter disbelief.

    Captain Holt to Jake and Boyle: "Gentleman." Later on after everyone's disgusted reactions: "Fine. I was trying something and it didn't work!"
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    30. When Doug Judy escaped from Jake (yet again) on a tiny boat and confessed his love and admiration for him in the only way he knew how to.

    Doug Judy to Jake: "Just remember, you got a fine lady. Don't be a tang in the mud" Jake: "This isn't over! I will hunt you to the ends of the Earth!" Doug Judy: "I love you too! I'm so proud of us for being able to say it"
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    31. When Jake called Mr. Santiago to let him know he planned on proposing to Amy, and went off on the most Jake-like tangent.

    Jake: "Mr. Santiago, I'm calling to inform you that I plan to ask your daughter to marry me, but since it's 2017, I am not asking for your permission, as she is not your property, nor would she be mind, if she chooses to say yes"
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    32. When Rosa bought Charles a dog named Arlo to help him grieve over his dead dog. But when Charles rejected him, Rosa took over and became a big ball of mush.

    Rosa: "I've only had Arlo for a day and a half. But if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself"
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    33. When Charles couldn't help but interrupt Jake and Amy's personal conversation, and gush how excited he was about their new relationship.

    Boyle: "I just discovered a new drug too. It's called 'your relationship' and I'm high on it"
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    34. When Holt let the sixth Halloween heist get the best of him (so much so that Kevin wouldn't even defend his honor when it came to the championship cummerbund).

    Holt to Jake: "How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? ZERO!" Jake: "It's one bund..." Holt: "To none, son! Tell 'em, Kevin!" Kevin: "I'm leaving"
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    35. When Gina asked how hot Detective Majors was on a scale of Charles to Terry, and Charles wasn't afraid to exude his confidence.

    Charles: "Sorry, buddy." Terry: "What? I'm the 10." Charles: "Sure you are"
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    36. When Jake called Amy a backstabber for applying for a job at Major Crimes with the Vulture, and compared her to Iago from Aladdin.

    Jake: "I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago -- emphasis on 'Iago,' backstabber." Amy: "I'm surprised you've read 'Othello.'" Jake: "What the hell is 'Othello?' I'm calling you the parrot from 'Aladdin.'"
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    37. When Gina gave a rundown on the various levels of Amy's alcohol tolerance, aka the Santiago Drunkenness Scale.

    Gina: "First drink is Amy Spacy, second drink is Loud Amy, third drink is Amy Dance Pants, fourth drink is Amy is a bit of a pervert, fifth drink is weirdly confident, and sixth drink is Amy is just sad"
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    38. When Charles took Jake's "Title of your sex tape" pun to a whole new level on Amy and Jake's wedding day.

    Boyle: "Jake and Amy are getting married tonight. Title of MY sex tape." Jake: "What?!"
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    39. When the gang traveled to Boyle's house for the weekend, and Terry unapologetically enjoyed himself by shifting into "Vacation Terry" mode.

    Terry: "I'm playing 'Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on"
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    40. When Rosa made fun of Amy's interest in Teddy because he was a "good listener," and instead explained the most important quality she looks for in a guy: "Real stuff — shape of his ass."

    Rosa: "That's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like 'he's a good listener." Amy: "I'm sorry, what do you look for in a guy?" Rosa: "I don't know, real stuff. Shape of his ass"
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    41. When Jake and Amy made their arrest bet at the beginning of the series, and Jake made fun of her strong grip.

    Jake: "Wow, your handshake is quite firm." Amy: "I took a seminar." Jake: "Where?"
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    42. When Gina hosted a G-Hive event and made a fan of hers feel so seen and excited just by being her true, iconic self.

    Fan in crowd: "Gina, look at me!" Gina posing, and the fan screaming louder when Gina says, "You're welcome!"
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    43. When Holt told Rosa he sent Kevin a dick pic, and described it the only way he would: "A digital phallus portrait."

    Captain Holt: "At 3:30 am I seem to have sent Kevin...a digital phallus portrait." Rosa: "A digital phallus portrait, what is that? Oh, no, you sent him a dick pic!"
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    44. When Pimento lost his memory like the main character in Memento, and had truly bizarre reminders tattooed all over his body.

    Jake to Pimento: "Okay, this one says, 'Buy toilet paper' in a truly gigantic font. I hate to think of the horrific event that led to a reminder of this size"
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    45. When Amy really had to pee while they were on assignment, and Rosa "helped" soothe her pain by making calm, water-like noises.

    Amy: "I just need, like, some calming noises." Rosa: "OK, close your eyes. Glub, glub, glub"
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    46. When Holt bragged to Jake about Cheddar's popularity on Instagram as an overweight pup, with an account dubbing him a "thicc king."

    Holt to Jake: "A photograph of Cheddar was featured on 'Chunky Pups' an Instagram account for overweight pets. The top comment called him a 'thicc king'"
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    47. When Amy goofily tried to suck up to Holt at the beginning of the series, only to be struck with his logic in return.

    Amy: "Your wish is my command" Holt: "No, that was actually a command. So my command is your command." Amy: "Well then, I guess you still have all three of your wishes"
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    48. When Jake and Charles were tracking down who stole and resold Lil Wayne's designer sneakers, and Charles documented Lil Wayne's name completely wrong.

    Charles: "Designed by...Little Wayne." Jake: "Oh, it's 'Lil.'" Charles: "Oh! Like Lilian." Jake: "Nope"
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    49. When Wuntch recorded and left a video specifically for Holt when she died, and Rosa made a Holt-like diss about her.

    Wuntch in front of a fireplace. Amy: "When did she record this?" Rosa: "Judging by the flames around her it could be a livestream." Holt: "Very good, Rosa"
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    50. When Jake tried to compliment Terry's strong muscles in the Jakest way, and Terry brought him back down to earth.

    Jake: "You have more muscles in your ears than I have in my entire body." Terry: "Never skip ear day, Jake"
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    51. When Gina felt panicked as a new member of the Boyle family, especially when it came down to vacationing with them in Iowa.

    Charles: "We're going to Iowa. We've already rented the tent." Gina: 'Tent' singular? Charles, 'tent' singular?"
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    52. When Jake encouraged Holt to be the "Jake" of the difficult confrontation with his mother, and Holt out-Jaked himself.

    Captain Holt: "You want me to just say, 'Cowabunga, Mom?' Jake: "Oh, yes, that would be awesome"
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    53. When Amy felt stressed that Wuntch would fail the 99 during an evaluation, and brought up the only F she received in her life: recess in second grade.

    Amy: "Oh my God, she's totally gonna flunk us. I haven't gotten an F since I failed recess in second grade. 'Teachers need a break too, Amy'"
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    54. When the 99 ended up at the plaza from Die Hard during their road trip back to Brooklyn, and Jake couldn't help but stop everything to do a photo shoot.

    Jake posing on the ground, Jake posing against the window, Jake putting his hands on his arms, and Jake pretending to fall down the building — all while Charles takes these pictures on an iPhone
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    55. When Charles approached Gina at her desk to talk to her, and she dismissed him in the most Gina way.

    Gina: "New phone, who dis?" Charles: "Gina, you can't do that in person. It's Charles!"
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    56. When the 99 was in charge of redecorating the break room, and Rosa immediately pulled inspiration from Cameron Diaz's and Kate Winslet's homes in The Holiday.

    Rosa: "Let's draw from a wide variety of sources, anything from Cameron Diaz's kitchen in 'The Holiday' to Kate Winslet's kitchen in 'The Holiday.'" Terry: "Is that such a huge range?"
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    57. When Jake was stressed out after he lost Cheddar, and gathered the 99 to help find him.

    Jake to the 99: "Bad news: Cheddar is still at large, and you know that slippery little bastard is just laughing at us" Cut to Cheddar peacefully licking an ice cream cone
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    58. When Rosa tried to make Terry feel better about aging and going bald, and he made a quick and witty joke comparing himself to Vin Diesel.

    Rosa: "You're not bald. You shave your head" Terry: "Yeah, Rosa. Vin Diesel and I shave our heads because we think it looks good
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    59. When Terry and Amy interrupted Charles' daydream about Jake while Jake was stuck in prison, and Charles went bananas on them.

    Terry: "Were you dreaming about Jake again?" Charles: "Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!"
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    60. When Hitchcock expressed to Scully that he wanted him to marry his wife if he ever died, and they shook on it in the most Hitchcock and Scully way.

    Hitchcock: "If I die, I want you to marry Lucille. I can't stand the thought of you being alone." Scully: "Deal. Let's make it a blood pact." Hitchcock: "Oh, look, I'm already bleeding"
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    61. When Charles tried to help a stressed-out Amy with baby Mac at Holt's "lake house," and she snapped at him with a brilliant insult.

    Boyle: "Trust me, I'm sort of a natural mother." Amy: "Yeah, natural motherfucker"
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    62. When Rosa made a subtle dig at Amy during a morning brief when they were discussing the longest stakeouts they've ever been on.

    Rosa: "Four hours is the most I've ever spent alone with any human, it was the worst experience of my life." Amy: "What about that time we drove out to Boston together? That was about four hours"
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    63. When Holt persuaded his friendly neighbor in Coral Palms while he was undercover as a straight man named Greg.

    Holt to Jake: "I borrowed $3,000 from my walking group friend, Ruth. I accidentally knocked up a woman. You know me when I see a pair of breasts -- all logic flies out the window" Jake: "Heterosexual you is such a dog!"
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    64. When Nikolaj told Charles there was a monster in his closet, and when he opened it to see Pimento standing there, the three of them screamed in unison.

    Pimento, Charles, and Nikolaj screaming
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    65. When Amy caught Rosa in a lie during the gruesome night shift, and expressed her frustration in the dorkiest way possible.

    Amy to Rosa: "You left me here to do all the paperwork, while I thought you were pooping. I wish you were pooping. I wish to God!"
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    66. When Terry went undercover as a suspect in a lineup and released one of his hilarious alter egos: Scary Terry.

    Terry: "Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking" Scary Terry: "This is takin' too long! I'm gonna miss the farmers market!"
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    67. When Charles taught Hitchcock and Scully a vending machine trick that would change their lives, and the dynamic duo were totally blown away by it.

    Scully: "What reason could there possibly be for the pain I'm feeling?" Boyle: "I shouldn't be telling you this because I know you'll abuse it, but when there's no third machine, you can come back here and [bang the machine until a snack pops out]"
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    68. When Jake ran out of Shaw's because he made a case breakthrough and totally forgot to pay his end of the bill to Gina.

    Jake: "I think I just figured something out. I gotta go!" Gina: "Aren't you forgetting something?" Jake: "Uhhh...[kisses Gina]" Gina: "No, pay your bill!"
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    69. When Rosa offered her apartment for the 99 to stake out in, and still remained ever so private about its true location.

    Rosa: "We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live." Terry: I thought you had Amy over there once." Rosa: "Yeah, it was fun — I moved the next day"
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    70. When Terry accidentally broke Holt's laptop and, after putting it together, had to answer the most obscure Holt-like security question.

    Terry to Rosa: "Okay, so I just got onto the cloud as Captain Holt and click 'forgot password' and answer his security questions. First up: What is God?"
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    71. And when Rosa filled Jake in on everything he missed while he was undercover with the mob, including the ever-iconic "Gina Incident."

    Rosa to Jake: "Captain banned headphones from the office due to the Gina incident" cut to Gina listening to music with her eyes closed while Terry is trying to take down a suspect
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