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Witches' Counsel: How Can I Support My Stressed Husband?

A recurring ~magical~ advice column.

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Hi! We're Arianna and Katie and we like casting spells and giving advice. So we're combining those interests here, in Witches' Counsel, where you can send us any problems, hang-ups, fears, etc., and we will do everything in our ~power~ to help. Reach us at witches@buzzfeed.com.

Hi Witches,

I just found out I will be going backstage at one of the One Direction shows on the USA tour. As a diehard 1D fan, I am running into a major problem — what should I wear on the day I meet Harry Styles?

Please advise.

All the love,
Frazzled Fangirl

Dear Frazzled,

[Twenty minutes of high-pitched, hysterical screaming and hand-fluttering]

OK, um. That's great news! How exciting for you. We are in no way thoroughly and devastatingly jealous of you, and we definitely did not briefly consider cursing you, that we might take your place. This is a TRULY magical opportunity and we hope you have the best, best time. Please send us pictures and vivid descriptions of what Harry's dimples look like up close, and what he smells like.

Now then: what to wear??? Occasion-specific dressing is so incredibly stressful, isn't it? Girls especially grow up being made to believe that the right outfit can change their lives — that the cute guy or girl will see you in that dress (the one you slipped on in the dressing room, with which you rendered your onlooking friends silent in awe) and fall head over heels in love. It's That Moment. And who better to try for That Moment with than Harry Styles? There isn't anybody on Earth.

There's a temptation, in cases like these, to go really BIG with an outfit — think the dress in Pretty in Pink — but we think you're better served by choosing something classic. When you look back on this photo you don't want to be distracted by of-the-moment sartorial trends. You want to see Harry, and how happy you look next to him. Our advice is to wear something relatively simple, and most importantly, something you feel comfortable and good about yourself in.

Then, in order to put your best face forward, we also recommend following this spell, from The Spells Bible. You'll need a green candle and, preferably, some dewy grass.

Take the candle and some matches into a yard/park/field in the very early morning, either the day of the concert or the day before, if you can. Bow in every direction, starting with the east and then to the south, west, and north, speaking the following in each direction, respectively:

In the east, I honor the element of air
In the south, I honor the element of fire
In the west, I honor the element of water
In the north, I honor the element of earth

Then, face the sun, and say, At the center of all, I honor the element of spirit.

Light the candle, and say:
I call upon the spirit of this green field
And the essence of nature
To reflect in me your glory and natural beauty.

Then, bend over the gather dew (as best you can!) from the grass and … rub your face in it. Just trust us!!

Repeat this process nine more times (I know, but remember: it's Harry Styles!!!), and then blow out the candle. Everything is going to be wonderful. You're going to get to hug Harry Styles, probably. He is going to think you look great.

Goddess bless,

The Witches

Dear Witches,

I'm concerned about my husband. He started a new job as a sous chef and he seems to be getting extremely anxious and depressed about what the job entails. He's no stranger to the kitchen. He's been a sous chef before and he always does a great job. How can I support him as he goes through this rough patch?

Worried Wife

Dear WW,

First off, congratulations to you and your husband! Job searching is such a uniquely soul-crushing experience, so what a relief and feat — for the person landing the job as well as the person offering their moral support — to finally end it.

A quick background, from one of the witches: Recently, my boyfriend landed a super awesome job in the field of his dreams after three months of searching. Those three months were tough. He was growing exponentially more panicked as the weeks passed; I was stressed out trying to figure out how best to support and encourage him. So, of course, when he got the job, I was ready to celebrate and put it all behind us. Here's what I didn't understand, and failed to remember about my own experience in a new dream job just a few years prior — new jobs aren't immediately the best. Often, that moment of excitement and satisfaction quickly gives way to anxiety over figuring out a new environment, fear of not being up to the job, and distrust in your own abilities. It sounds like this is what you're in the midst of now.

It's nearly impossible to erase those fears and anxieties for someone else, and it's important that you don't expect that of yourself — you've got to keep your wellbeing in mind, too! You can help by offering him an alternative perspective. Ask him how he's doing; if he's anxious, ask him if he wants to talk about his specific worries. Sometimes our anxieties only make sense for as long as they live in our heads. Remind him he wouldn't have gotten the job if he didn't deserve it, that it's in the restaurant's best interest to hire someone they believed could handle it, that there's a reason he — over every other candidate — got it. Assure him this early stage will pass. These are things that are easy to forget. More importantly, don't expect him to immediately believe you, or embrace what you're saying, and don't stop saying these things just because he might not be reacting in the way you'd want him to.

But onto the magic! We've got a couple things for you. On our end, we've recited an amended spell for prosperity in new endeavors, from Dorothy Morrison's Everyday Magic:

Maiden Goddess, You Who sprout
From tiny seed, the Earth throughout,
Bless this project with Your joy
And those of them in its employ.
Mother Goddess, You Who flower
And bring beauty to our daylight hours,
Bless this project with Your hand
And the fertile bounty of Your land.

We also have a spell, from Ann-Marie Gallagher's The Spells Bible, that is something you can do on your end — an amended Mercury spell to enhance communication in the home, since this is primarily an issue of effective communication between you and your husband. It will require you do a little shopping.

Find a quiet, peaceful spot where you can focus your energy on the goal. Light a yellow candle in a fire-proof plate (if you're able to get your hands on some lavender, pine needles, and lemongrass to make up incense, scatter that around and light as well) while saying, "Hail Mercury, Swift messenger, Empower and bless this spell, Grant me favor in labors." Then, light a white candle, and add more incense if you have it. Drip wax from the white candle onto a metal or plastic coaster, and form an oval disk about an inch in diameter. While it's soft, carve the symbol for Mercury into it, and, after it's cooled, remove it from the coaster, bless it with your breath and say, "I seal you by my breath, I charge you by my desire." Then, place it in a popular room in your house. (If you have a small pouch, you can keep it safe in there.)

We wish you the best! Cheers your husband for us.

Goddess bless,

The Witches

Got a problem for the Witches?

Send your questions and concerns to witches@buzzfeed.com.

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