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    10 Things That Genuinely Helped Me When I Went Through Fertility Treatment

    Motherhood is frequently described as a journey, but some of us log miles before there’s even a baby in our arms.

    We all know there are some things we cannot control in life, despite our best efforts. And that includes infertility.

    An illustration of a 30-something woman sitting in her home as it snows outside
    Kelsey King / BuzzFeed

    There's no good way to say it. Infertility is just...the worst. 😔 And while it's universally accepted by society that the transition to motherhood can be a rocky road (tiny humans = big impact), it's easy for many to forget the in-between.

    What happens when you get stuck in that in-between? How are you supposed to feel? One thing that always struck me about infertility is how jarring it is to go from having control of your body and thinking, Not now, to having absolutely no control when you decide, Okay, now!

    If you’re going through fertility treatments — or are about to embark on them — you already know how isolating and emotionally draining the process can feel.

    On "Friends", Chandler and Monica emotionally embrace after receiving news of infertility.
    NBC / Via youtube.com

    But to those of you reading this on your phone at 2 a.m., anxious about the future you always envisioned for yourself, I see you. And I wrote this for you because you are not alone in this, even if you don’t personally know anyone else who is going through it.

    There are so many women I admire who have shared their struggles with infertility. Michelle Obama is one. Our national treasure, Chrissy Teigen, is another. And now you know me, Kathleen, a pretty normal person who sometimes writes things for the internet. 👋

    Here are some of the things I learned on my journey. I hope you find them helpful.

    1. Give yourself some grace.

    2. Become your own spokesperson.

    3. Try to give yourself something *else* to look forward to each month.

    4. Find a book, podcast, or TV series and go ALL IN on it.

    CBS / Via tenor.com

    You are going to make a lot of decisions and keep a lot of details in your head during this time, so when you finally get to relax, make life as easy for yourself as you can. If you've ever wanted to binge-watch a show with multiple seasons, now is the time to do it.

    I watched so many seasons of Murder, She Wrote, and honestly, it was the cheesy and soothing balm I needed at the end of the day. I also loved going back to old favorites like The West Wing (fun fact: Our dog's name is Jed Barklet) and 30 Rock.

    5. Once you start clinic visits, make your nurse your BFFL.

    Columbia Pictures

    No, seriously, the nurse you work with at the fertility clinic should be your new best friend. They literally know your cycles. They know a lot about your partner, too. Like, a LOT. 😳 So if you don’t click, then you need to switch. Most practices understand this too.

    This is a team effort, and you are the MVP. But your nurse? They're always there with the assist. You’re like Jordan and Pippen.

    6. Develop a mantra that you can always come back to.

    7. Find your sisters.

    8. And find yourself a therapist.

    9. And, when you can, try to find a bit of humor.

    10. Do your best to stay off internet forums (unless you’re using them to find meaningful community!).

    And lastly? Just remember that there is life on the other side of this.

    So to those who are struggling and working to make a dream of parenthood a reality, I am sending you love and light and all my good vibes. ✨ I hope that by sharing some of my experience, I can help make yours a little easier. If you have any tips or advice to share, please add them in the comments!

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