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    27 Things You Learn After Moving To Toronto

    If you get lost in the PATH, you're going to die in the PATH.

    1. You can identify tourists immediately based on how they pronounce "Toronto."

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    See also: how they pronounce "Spadina."

    2. At most, you're two degrees of separation from someone from Degrassi.

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    If you're not friends with someone from Degrassi, you know someone who is friends with someone from Degrassi.

    3. Apartment hunting? Pick two: luxury, affordability, not a basement.


    Or, in some cases, pick one, because you could still end up in a basement that costs $1,400 a month.

    4. And your dream of ever owning a home died the second you saw what kind of houses cost $1 million in the city.

    AimHome Realty

    Well, technically it's $999,999, but still.

    5. Drivers hate cyclists, and cyclists hate drivers.

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    And pedestrians hate everyone.

    6. After the first sprinkling of snow each winter, everyone in Toronto suddenly forgets how to drive.


    We're Canadian! Aren't we supposed to be good at this?!

    7. Even if you want to avoid the roads, the TTC offers its own frustrations.

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    On the bright side, citing a "TTC delay" is a great way to avoid getting in trouble when you're late for work.

    8. You avoid the Dufferin bus at all costs.

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    Unless you're a masochist.

    9. And taking public transit to save money doesn't really work when the cost of the Metropass keeps going up.

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    And it's only going to keep increasing.

    10. If you get lost in the PATH, you're going to die in the PATH.

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    Anyone who says they know their way through the PATH is a goddamned liar.

    11. Rooting for Toronto sports teams is a recipe for heartbreak.

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    But you can't help yourself, and you come back for more every year.

    12. A lot of people have a weird mental block about crossing the Don River.

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    Half an hour on the subway to Bloor Village? Sure! A two-minute ride to Broadview station? Ugh, that's so far.

    13. And GO Transit seems even more time consuming, even when it's not.

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    A 45-minute trip on the TTC seems way more palatable than a 20-minute ride on the GO Train.

    14. Those who do make it across the river know how awesome Toronto's East end is.

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    15. And the Taste of the Danforth is the most delicious, life-changing experience ever.

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    Just shove all the Greek food into my mouth hole, please.

    16. If you say you're from Toronto but you're really from Etobicoke, people will judge you.

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    Same for Scarborough, North York, Thornhill, Pickering, Richmond Hill, Oakville, Burlington, and basically anywhere that isn't Toronto proper.

    17. But that's OK, because you're judging them right back.


    Don't let the politeness fool you.

    18. If you ever want to meet every single person who lives in Toronto, just go to High Park during cherry blossom season.

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    It's pretty much the law that all Torontonians must be there.

    19. If you're unable to make it to the cherry blossoms, don't worry: Everyone in Toronto will also be at the Christmas Market in the Distillery District.

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    Why are we all here?! IT'S SO COLD OUT.

    20. Going to Dance Cave is asking for trouble. Fun trouble, but trouble.

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    If you make it through the night without puking, making out with a rando, or getting thrown out by the bouncers, you have achieved the impossible.

    21. But the morning-after brunch will make any crazy Toronto night worth it.

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    The only problem is settling on one Toronto brunch spot out of the hundreds of tasty options available.

    22. You either love the Toronto International Film Festival, or you hate it — there is no in between.

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    It's either your best chance to meet Tom Hiddleston, or it's a massive inconvenience that makes your commute terrible.

    23. Even if it's not much of a secret, finding a secluded lookout spot makes you feel special.

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    Like the view of the city you get behind Evergreen Brickworks.

    24. By mid-January, everyone in the city is researching all-inclusive vacation packages several times a day.

    25. Come summer, getting a spot on the Toronto Island Ferry is a feat unto itself.

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    26. But when you get that perfect view of the skyline, you remember just how great Toronto is.

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    And what a great choice you made to live here.

    27. And anyone who hates on Toronto just doesn't get it.

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    But that's OK! That just means there's more Toronto for the rest of us.

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