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1. An end grain cutting board made with high quality acacia wood, so you can ~cut it out~ with those flimsy cutting boards and hold onto one that lasts forever.
2. A Kindle Paperwhite sure to make reading so convenient, you just might find electronic books the ~write~ way to read from now on.
3. A peg system drawer insert for making your junk drawers look like a minimalist masterpiece.
4. A cordless Dyson vacuum – one day with this and you're gonna realize how much vacuuming ~sucked~ before you brought this beaut home.
5. A cast iron pot sure to make any meal a masterpiece even Gordon Ramsay would applaud.
6. An LED nail dryer you can invest in and start giving yourself salon-quality manicures at free hundred dollars a piece.
7. A rug designed to complement all the furniture you bring home (no matter how many sofas your furball destroys).
8. A mounted tower toy for pet parents who aren't ~kitten~ around when it comes to keeping their cat happy.
9. An upright garment steamer that'll make your LBD (or multicoloured sweatpants, you do you!) look so nice, it's sure to guarantee a ~steamy~ date night.
10. A shirt folder that might seem like some unnecessary spending, until you see how crisp it makes your clothes. The laundry room is about to become your A-type paradise.
11. A scratch cover so the solid wood desk you found on the street can be spruced up and live another life, warm and cozy and snuggled up safe in your place.
12. A pair of weighted bracelets that'll increase your workout, even when you're only walking.
13. A pair of noise-cancelling headphones for people who know their Spotify playlist (and noise cancelling, well, everything) is a necessary staple in each day.
14. A tool stand that'll organize your yard tools so well, you might actually be able to fit your car in the garage for once.
15. A Revlon volumizing hair dryer with an oval-shaped barrel that's gonna help you style from the scalp, giving you smooth hair and gravity-defying volume right at the roots.
16. A hidden jewelry cabinet – a clever storage solution that's sure to keep your best accessories hidden from your grabby partner. You said you'd share your life with them...not your necklaces.
17. A smart trashcan so convenient, efficient, and high-tech the only thing you'll have to worry about is Oscar the Grouch wanting to move in.
18. A clear Ninja blender that'll blend in with your kitchen decor as well as it'll blend you up the perfect smoothie.
19. A cutting board and knife stand sure to spruce up your kitchen space and make your counters look cute!
20. A slim K–cup coffee brewer – grab this if you don't have the counter space for a K-cup machine that takes up the entire kitchen counter.
21. An electric dehumidifier that'll keep the air in your room from being moist...because even the sound of that is awful.
22. A wire spice display so you can show off how spicy your life is! Heckin' brag.
23. An electric indoor grill for apartment dwellers who would do anything to get their hands on some real "backyard" BBQ.
24. A double laundry hamper – it's gonna organize your clothes from the moment they're thrown in the hamper, helping prevent any pink clothes from popping out of your load of whites.
25. A sous-vide precision cooker that'll make such delicious entrées, you'll tell this inanimate object how thankful you are that you two were able to ~meat~.
26. A smooth satin pyjama set that'll feel sinfully silky on your skin and make you question how you ever fell asleep before slipping into these.
27. And a mulberry silk pillowcase sure to help you fall smoothly into slumber, while keeping your hair smooth at the same time. Bedhead, be gone!
28. A KitchenAid mixer, perhaps the most beloved of all culinary items. With this thing, you're gonna be cooking up fantastic family recipes for the rest of your days.
29. An odour-neutralizing candle sure to save your apartment from the smells of your beloved four-legged friend.
30. And finally, a bidet attachment that fits most toilets, because when you realize that washing your bottom after using the bathroom makes even more sense than washing your hands, you're never gonna want to wipe with that dry, wasteful, less-efficient toilet paper ever again.
Me, back when I thought I could live life without these products:
