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Posted on Sep. 29, 2015

You Need To Tell Us If These Things Are Doughnuts

We knead to know.

Controversy erupted in the BuzzFeed Canada offices this morning as one staffer announced she had brought doughnuts...

Kat Angus/BuzzFeed Canada

...Only for the rest of us to discover this box instead.

We immediately took the important issue to the internet.

(For our American friends, you may know Timbits as "doughnut holes" or "Munchkins.")

People had opinions, but the results were far from conclusive.

@katangus What the fuck, no. Tim Hortons donuts are barely donuts!

@katangus all Timbits are donuts but not all donuts are Timbits. Think about that.

Are timbits just the middle part of donuts that are punched out omg

"Yo what even are timbits"? "Probably the centres of all the donuts"

TIMBIT'S ARE CUTE BITE SIZED DONUTS.

But it got us thinking: SHOULDN'T Timbits count as doughnuts?

iStock // Pastilla the Mannequin/Flickr Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 35393811@N00

After all, they're made of the same stuff as doughnuts.

And what counts as a doughnut, anyway?

FOX / Via media.giphy.com

Does it just have to be a round ball of dough with a hole in the middle?

Let's figure this shit out.

  1. Is a cruller a doughnut?

    Hamera/Getty Images
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Is a cruller a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No.
  1. Is a Danish a doughnut?

    Stockbyte
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Is a Danish a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No.
  1. Is a cronut a doughnut?

    iStock
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Is a cronut a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes. It even rhymes.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No. It's half croissant! It can't be a doughnut.
  1. Is a bear claw a doughnut?

    iStock
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Is a bear claw a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Pastry, yes; doughnut, no.
  1. Is a Boston Cream doughnut a doughnut?

    Hamera

    After all, there's no hole.

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Is a Boston Cream doughnut a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes. The word "doughnut" is right there in the name.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No. No hole, no doughnut, technically.
  3.  
    vote votes
    I was going to say yes, but this "no hole" business is messing with my head.
  1. Is a jelly doughnut a doughnut?

    iStock

    Again with the "no hole" issue.

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Is a jelly doughnut a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    YES. IT'S IN THE NAME. WE JUST WENT THROUGH THIS.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Nope. Same rules apply as before.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Seriously, you're making me question my entire life.
  1. Is a bagel a doughnut?

    Stockbyte

    Made of dough. It's round. There's a hole.

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Is a bagel a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes, I guess, technically. Goddamnit.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No. Of course not. Are you insane? Go to bed.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Oh, god. Maybe? I don't even know what's real anymore.
  1. Is a Cheerio a doughnut?

    iStock
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Is a Cheerio a doughnut?
  1.  
    vote votes
    I hate this, but yes.
  2.  
    vote votes
    No. You're an idiot.
  3.  
    vote votes
    YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE'RE ALL DOUGHNUTS.
  1. OK, and here we go: Are Timbits doughnuts?

    Jessica and Lon Binder/Flickr Creative Commons Attribution License
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OK, and here we go: Are Timbits doughnuts?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes!
  2.  
    vote votes
    No!
  3.  
    vote votes
    They're not doughnuts, but they're not NOT doughnuts. Who cares, we're all going to die someday anyway.
  1. And FINALLY: How do you spell it?

    iStock
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And FINALLY: How do you spell it?
  1.  
    vote votes
    "doughnut"
  2.  
    vote votes
    "donut" (and it's been driving me nuts that you've spelled it the other way this whole time)

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