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Posted on Dec 20, 2013

17 Of The Biggest Dick Moves At Christmas

Even Scrooge is like, "Damn, Gina!"

1. Peek at gifts before Christmas morning.

Flickr: nitelynx

Why do you want to ruin the surprise?

2. Be mean to bell ringers.

Via Flickr: virtualsugar

Yes, anyone who tries to talk while all you want to do is just get home faster is annoying. But leave them alone, if you don't want to donate just keep walking.

3. Try to open two presents on Christmas Eve.

Via wearesocial.net

I don't know about your family, but in mine you get to open one present on Christmas Eve. Negotiating for two is almost cause for getting banned altogether. And don't get me started on people who open all their gifts at midnight. That is pure insanity.

4. Make everyone wait for you to get up in order to begin opening presents.

Cartoon Network / Via lovethispic.com

WHY ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING? IT'S CHRISTMAS!

5. Make everyone eat breakfast before opening gifts.

Flickr: picturesbyann

What kind of torture is this? The schedule has always been presents then breakfast. Don't mess with tradition.

6. Complain about the gift you just unwrapped.

Unless it's a "charitable gift" in your name. 'Cuz fuck that.

Via una.edu

Charity is great and all, but WHAT ABOUT ME?

7. Give someone an unwrapped gift.

Warner Bros. / Via kisswithatear.tumblr.com

Even a bow is better than, "Why wrap it? It's just a waste of paper."

8. Trade gifts.

Via celebquote.com

Much like crying in baseball, there is no trading in Christmas.

9. Give an obvious last-ditch gift.

10. Not keep track of who got you what.

Via wifflegif.com

Slow your roll, playa. How else are you going to remember who gave you that ugly sweater?

11. Not clean up your wrapping paper.

Via unclebobs.com

Oh, you want to go try out your new remote control car? Not before you help clean up this mess, mister!

12. Get too drunk too early.

Via celebquote.com

Easy on the eggnog there, champ. It's barely 10 a.m..

13. Use the free day off to take your kid(s) to an inappropriate movie.

Paramount Pictures / Via magicoficecream.wordpress.com

Christmas is a big movie outing day, so do us all a favor and take your 8 year old to Frozen instead of American Hustle, OK?

14. Be a mistletoe creep.

Via reddit.com

It's a creepy enough tradition without you perving it up even more.

15. Leave Santa anything but milk and cookies.

Flickr: jason_coleman

Santa doesn't have time for your "healthy holiday treats"! Although that rum is much appreciated.

16. Tell kids there is no such thing as Santa.

WHAT SORT OF MONSTER DOES THIS? He's real, kids! REAL!

17. Tell everyone how much you hate Christmas.

Universal Pictures / Via wifflegif.com

Get over it, already. The rest of us would like to enjoy our figgy pudding in peace, thank you.

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