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Aussies And Americans Are Comparing Wedding Etiquette, And Wow, I Never Realised There Was A Difference

"American weddings are so uptight and zero fun to attend. But in Australia, they're just a fucking joy — boozy, hilarious dance parties in the bush."

Whether it's our workplace cultures, flying etiquette, or road rules — there's no denying that Aussies and Americans have very different ideas about what constitutes good behaviour.

And it seems that wedding etiquette is no exception! Or so says this super-wholesome Reddit query from an American, seeking out advice on how to be the best-possible guest at an Australian wedding:

In the answers, Australians came forward with their top tips on how to nail the brief for best wedding guest — as well as their observations on the differences between US and Aussie customs.

Here are some of the most insightful responses: 

1. "A friendly word of caution: Aussies generally love to meet new people, particularly foreigners. Americans, in particular, can be a novelty. One thing Aussies don't like is the stereotypically loud American, vying to be the centre of attention."

"Laugh, make jokes (self-deprecating ones are always good), spark conversation with others, be genuine, and you may find yourself the guest of honour. Dominate the conversation, tell everyone the US is the best country in the world, talk with the loudest voice in the room, get irate with venue staff, engage in heated discussion about politics, and you will fall out of favour quickly.

"Treat others with respect, be friendly, and I have no doubt you will have a fantastic time."

u/PonyKiller81

2. "Good chance that turning up in a tux to an Australian wedding will result in you being mistaken for the groom."

u/ridge_rippler

3. "Remember that Australian beer has a higher alcohol content than American beer. Really watch yourself."

u/pen5

"Booze is higher in alcohol per volume here. The other commenters have it right, but be aware. Some of them have open bars, but don't go overboard."

u/NoodleBox

4. "Just enjoy yourself. It's also appropriate to say 'cunt' if you like, or call pretty much anyone a cunt, so that's a good opportunity if you don't get it Stateside."

u/toKenblaKKman

5. "Definitely don't worry about American wedding etiquette 'rules'. American wedding culture is insane. Australians are more relaxed. Remember, you're making an effort to be there at great expense because you care about them. If they aren’t grateful for that alone, they're not a good friend."

u/epicpillowcase

6. "This varies a bit, but tapping your glass with a spoon is usually a request for a speech in the US but is often considered a request for the bride and groom to kiss in Australia."

u/parisianpop

7. "This is less common now, but there used to be kind of a quirk in Australia, where only men drank beer, so if you're offering to get a drink for people, especially older people, you may get weird looks if you ask if the women would like a beer (usually you would ask the men if they would like a beer and the women if they would like wine)."

u/parisianpop

8. "Make sure you learn the dance to 'Nutbush City Limits.'"

u/averbisaword

"And the chicken dance."

u/sati_lotus

"And the Bus Stop."

u/dick_schidt

"And the Macarena."

u/SomebodysBunny

9. "American weddings are so uptight and zero fun to attend. Like, you actively want to avoid being in the wedding parties. But in Australia, they're just a fucking joy — boozy, hilarious dance parties in the bush."

u/justhow87

10. "Suit and tie, unless the invite says otherwise. Homewares-related gift, unless they already have a well-established home and don't need another fondue set. Don't get too drunk, and no one is doing anything with garters."

u/mediumredbutton

11. "After a couple of drinks, you can expect the boomers to start making stupid remarks about drop bears and US beer being similar to making love in a canoe, before laughing themselves silly. Australians love to take the piss a bit, and Americans are seen as fair game."

u/MrBeer9999

12. "I wouldn't expect a gift at all from someone who had travelled from overseas. Presence, not presents. But that's just me."

u/NezuminoraQ

13. "Aussies are getting bigger on 'no-phone weddings'. Be aware of that."

u/NoodleBox

14. "Eat before you go, as it's often a long time before food is served. If it's a country wedding or in a hot-weather state (Queensland), the dress code is usually more casual, but still a sports jacket rather than a full suit."

u/Sukiboxer1

15. "In my town, male guests don't wear a jacket and tie — just slacks and a nice button-up shirt. Long- or short-sleeved, depending on the weather. But that’s because it gets hot here."

u/Lucifang

16. "I'd say a cash gift, unless you know of something that would specifically make a nod to the friendship, or they have a gift registry. Also, if my mate was coming from overseas, I'd be telling them not to get anything at all, as their commitment to come over was a big-enough gift. In saying that, no more than $100 AUD, in my opinion."

u/The_Fiddler1979

17. "Suits are generally for 'city weddings'. But I've been to plenty of beach or bush weddings where it's loose-fitting clothes or dancing clothes."

u/veroxii

18. "Guarantee someone will hit you up about your opinions on guns or Donald Trump as the night wears on. The wise decision would be to change the subject."

u/ridge_rippler

19. "In Australia, 'fancy dress' on the invitation is just as likely to have someone arrive dressed as a superhero — we're more likely to refer to it as formal dress."

u/Aggravating_Termite

20. "Don't forget the golden rule: No matter what the dress code states, someone's weird uncle is going to turn up wearing overalls or something equally inappropriate, and a bunch of 20-year-olds are going to turn up wearing super-tight chinos and shoes with no socks, thinking they are stylish, when they are really dressed no more appropriately than weird Uncle Bob."

u/frashal

21. "I've been to beach weddings where people were expected to wear cool, comfortable, white clothes. I've been to a bush wedding which was essentially a doof, and everyone was wearing psytrance music festival outfits. It really can vary a lot in Australia."

u/veroxii

22. "In Australia, we don’t (usually) have a predinner like in the US. Just one big reception and lunch or dinner event on the day of the wedding."

u/bluesix

23. "The most important custom you need to know is when the song 'Eagle Rock' is played, you need to drop your pants!"

u/lmt01

*eagle rock comes on at a wedding* Every man present:

Twitter: @eastbIoc

24. "Don't challenge any uncle or aunt of the bride to a drinking game."

u/BorryOrbsander

25. "Cash usually works best for a gift, as the couple can use it as they please. If they're travelling abroad for the honeymoon, especially to any location that uses it as a currency, you could give them some USD ($100–$150 would be about right), as US dollars are generally an easy currency to exchange when you're travelling."

u/Chemical-You4013

26. And finally, this absolute pearl of wisdom for outsiders: "During the bride and groom's first dance, each attendee gives them a 'booting' (just a little kick up the bum). It's customary for overseas visitors to go first."

u/shal0819

What are some strange or quirky wedding customs that are normal in your country but would surprise overseas visitors? Let us know in the comments below!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.