Which Grown Man Inappropriately Dressed As Cupid Is Your Soulmate?
You are competitive and need someone who keeps you on your toes, and that someone is a bearded adult man in feather underwear.
You always say you want stability, but maybe you meant you just wanted to be playfully stabbed by the love arrow of a middle-aged man who's just trying something new.
You want someone who will take you out on the town, and that someone might just be this very pale man who hasn't worn real pants in three years.
You just want someone who will cuddle up with you most nights of the week, and who better than this man who sometimes dresses as a baby with wings?
You want someone who will be your creative muse, and who is more fitting than this forty-something man who's going through an experimental phase in his life?
You want someone who appreciates the great outdoors just like you do, and who is more perfect than a guy who'll let the fresh air graze his bare thighs as he walks the earth as a mythical baby?
You really want someone who will make you forget the world around you, and truly, who can pay attention to the rest of the world when a dangerously pale man and his liberated buttocks are leading the way?
You want someone sensual and deep, and honey, nothing goes deeper than a feather diaper-clad adult man's plastic heart arrow.
You want someone who is ambitious like you, and who screams ambition more than a man willing to wear a loincloth for the sake of festivity?
You need someone who is culturally refined and sensitive, and uh, hello, have you seen this fully-grown man wearing a micro-toga and lace-up sandals?
You require someone who stimulates your mind, and boy, when you meet this adult male in faux feather undies and a fake arrow, you will have endless things to talk about!
You like someone you can be mellow with, and nothing says "chill" like a responsible adult man who recreationally dresses up as a magical infant.