Millennials Have "Killed" American Cheese, And I'm Ready To Dance On Its Grave

    "American cheese will never die. It has too many preservatives."

    Usually when I read the words "Millennials Are Killing" in a headline, I roll my eyes at the way older people blame my generation and then yell "Fake news!" at no one in particular.

    Like, this was an actual headline from a few weeks ago:

    Well, this morning, Bloomberg reported that millennials had claimed a new victim: American cheese.

    But instead of getting angry about the headline, I was overcome with pride for my generation. WE DID IT, KIDS!

    That's because American "cheese" isn't actually cheese at all. In fact, it can't even be legally called "cheese" in the US and is usually labelled as a "cheese product."

    But I wasn't the only person celebrating its demise.


    But before I get screamed at in the comments, I will make one — and only one — exception for American cheese, and that's as part of a grilled cheese sandwich.

    To quote my coworker Cates, "The only time American cheese is acceptable is when you want a grilled cheese like mom used to make (with squishy white bread and canned tomato soup)." That's it.

    In conclusion, RIP, imposter.

    What do you think about American cheese? Sound off in the comments.