Millennials Have "Killed" American Cheese, And I'm Ready To Dance On Its Grave

"American cheese will never die. It has too many preservatives."

Usually when I read the words "Millennials Are Killing" in a headline, I roll my eyes at the way older people blame my generation and then yell "Fake news!" at no one in particular.

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Like, this was an actual headline from a few weeks ago:

NY Daily News / Via nydailynews.com

We're KILLING divorce? As in, we're staying married...???

Well, this morning, Bloomberg reported that millennials had claimed a new victim: American cheese.

Bloomberg / Via bloomberg.com

According to the article, millennials are instead opting for "fancier cheeses" made from "ingredients that are both recognizable and pronounceable."

But instead of getting angry about the headline, I was overcome with pride for my generation. WE DID IT, KIDS!

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That's because American "cheese" isn't actually cheese at all. In fact, it can't even be legally called "cheese" in the US and is usually labelled as a "cheese product."

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The Bloomberg article literally begins, "American cheese will never die. It has too many preservatives." No. Thank. You.

But I wasn't the only person celebrating its demise.

Twitter: @davidubben / Via Twitter: @davidubben

Twitter: @SazonSmitty / Via Twitter: @SazonSmitty

Twitter: @hankgreen / Via Twitter: @hankgreen

RETWEET!!!

Twitter: @Jamiliarity / Via Twitter: @Jamiliarity

But before I get screamed at in the comments, I will make one — and only one — exception for American cheese, and that's as part of a grilled cheese sandwich.

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To quote my coworker Cates, "The only time American cheese is acceptable is when you want a grilled cheese like mom used to make (with squishy white bread and canned tomato soup)." That's it.

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Then she added this: "To be clear, I WILDLY prefer what I think of as 'adult grilled cheeses' these days, with homemade sourdough and a nice sharp cheddar. BUT sometimes you just want comfort food, and a comfort grilled cheese is squishy white bread and, like, American cheese singles, and tomato soup out of a can."

In conclusion, RIP, imposter.

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What do you think about American cheese? Sound off in the comments.