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A Ranking Of The Hottest U.S. Presidents

Thirst-trapping our great nation since 1789.

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43. John Quincy Adams

Bald with sideburns; probably has a Yahoo email address.
commons.wikimedia.org

Bald with sideburns; probably has a Yahoo email address.

42. Chester A. Arthur

The fluffiest muttonchops in America.
en.wikipedia.org

The fluffiest muttonchops in America.

41. Martin Van Buren

OMG HE'S THE DAD FROM EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.
en.wikipedia.org

OMG HE'S THE DAD FROM EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.

40. James Buchanan

Texts back three days later with "Sorry, just saw this!"
en.wikipedia.org

Texts back three days later with "Sorry, just saw this!"

39. Andrew Jackson

Not hot AND ideologically problematic.
history.com

Not hot AND ideologically problematic.

38. Thomas Jefferson

Sort of hot, but problematic in every which way.
whitehouseresearch.org

Sort of hot, but problematic in every which way.

37. James Monroe

Still has an OkCupid account "just to take the quizzes."
en.wikipedia.org

Still has an OkCupid account "just to take the quizzes."

36. Lyndon B. Johnson

Teases you for how long you take to get ready but then steals your pomade.
photolab.lbjlib.utexas.edu

Teases you for how long you take to get ready but then steals your pomade.

35. George Washington

Is completely and totally honest about the fact that he's dating six other people from Tinder.
clarkart.edu

Is completely and totally honest about the fact that he's dating six other people from Tinder.

34. John Adams

Makes you help powder his wig every night.
whitehouseresearch.org

Makes you help powder his wig every night.

33. James Polk

Definitely writes Yelp reviews in verse.
millercenter.org

Definitely writes Yelp reviews in verse.

32. Benjamin Harrison

Still uses his ex-gf's dad's Netflix password.
history.com

Still uses his ex-gf's dad's Netflix password.

31. Richard Nixon

So...oily.
en.wikipedia.org

So...oily.

30. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Makes you call him "Ike" in bed.
en.wikipedia.org

Makes you call him "Ike" in bed.

29. William Henry Harrison

Bites into string cheese instead of peeling it.
metmuseum.org

Bites into string cheese instead of peeling it.

28. George H.W. Bush

Won't let you have any of his fries.
en.wikipedia.org

Won't let you have any of his fries.

27. John Tyler

Orders pizza with pineapple and a side of ranch.
en.wikipedia.org

Orders pizza with pineapple and a side of ranch.

26. Zachary Taylor

Likes his own posts on Instagram.
en.wikipedia.org

Likes his own posts on Instagram.

25. James Madison

Definitely uptight, probably brags a lot about not owning a TV.
whitehousehistory.org

Definitely uptight, probably brags a lot about not owning a TV.

24. Andrew Johnson

A more ill-fated Tommy Lee Jones.
en.wikipedia.org

A more ill-fated Tommy Lee Jones.

23. James Garfield

A more rugged Louis C.K.!!!
en.wikipedia.org

A more rugged Louis C.K.!!!

22. Grover Cleveland

Makes you call him "Grove" in public.
en.wikipedia.org

Makes you call him "Grove" in public.

21. Gerald Ford

Eats burritos with a knife and fork.
en.wikipedia.org

Eats burritos with a knife and fork.

20. George W. Bush

I mean, yeah. But Kim Kardashian called him a "cute little president," so.
en.wikipedia.org

I mean, yeah. But Kim Kardashian called him a "cute little president," so.

19. William Howard Taft

Like a big, cuddly, executive teddy bear.
neitshade5.wordpress.com

Like a big, cuddly, executive teddy bear.

18. Woodrow Wilson

So "sexy librarian" in those glasses.
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

So "sexy librarian" in those glasses.

17. Rutherford B. Hayes

The "B" stands for Brooklyn, judging by the beard.
en.wikipedia.org

The "B" stands for Brooklyn, judging by the beard.

16. Calvin Coolidge

The strong, silent type. Secretly kinky!
en.wikipedia.org

The strong, silent type. Secretly kinky!

15. Warren G. Harding

Brows on fleek since before you were born, son.
old-picture.com

Brows on fleek since before you were born, son.

14. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Super handsome; saved America.
en.wikipedia.org

Super handsome; saved America.

13. Ronald Reagan

Actual movie star; makes you call it "bae-ganomics."
en.wikipedia.org

Actual movie star; makes you call it "bae-ganomics."

12. Millard Fillmore

He might look like the dad from Downton Abbey, but just try whispering the name "Millard" erotically.
en.wikipedia.org

He might look like the dad from Downton Abbey, but just try whispering the name "Millard" erotically.

11. Harry S. Truman

The "S" stands for SEX MACHINE.
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

The "S" stands for SEX MACHINE.

10. Herbert Hoover

Will definitely buy you the top-shelf champagne.
Library Of Congress

Will definitely buy you the top-shelf champagne.

9. Abraham Lincoln

More like BABEraham Lincoln!!!!!!
Archive Photos / Getty Images

More like BABEraham Lincoln!!!!!!

8. William McKinley

UNF, look at that jawline.
millercenter.org

UNF, look at that jawline.

7. Jimmy Carter

Classically handsome; will make you a PB&J.
en.wikipedia.org

Classically handsome; will make you a PB&J.

6. Teddy Roosevelt

The ORIGINAL lumbersexual.
public.navy.mil

The ORIGINAL lumbersexual.

5. Bill Clinton

LOL.

4. Ulysses S. Grant

He can fight for my embattled piece of the United States anytime.
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

He can fight for my embattled piece of the United States anytime.

3. John F. Kennedy

DOES ANYONE EVER HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS CHOICE.
en.wikipedia.org

DOES ANYONE EVER HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS CHOICE.

2. Franklin Pierce

Look at those cheekbones! You'd hit it. You know you would.
freedmenspatrol.wordpress.com

Look at those cheekbones! You'd hit it. You know you would.

1. Barack Obama

Will buy you a shave ice, the original PILF, "slay me daddy," etc.
en.wikipedia.org

Will buy you a shave ice, the original PILF, "slay me daddy," etc.

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