21 Gifts Every Thirtysomething REALLY Wants
Hi Santa please obliterate Sallie Mae forever OK thanks.
Red wine that magically doesn't cause hangovers.
Wedding invites that don't require you to buy a plane ticket.
Drive-through, 30-minute tattoo removal.
A dating website that comes with warning labels on people who are crazy.
The ability to stay out past 10 p.m. without constantly feeling like you'd rather be in bed.
A method of buying a house that doesn't crush your soul and spirit and dreams and bank account.
A law making it illegal to not have seating at a concert.
A French press that cleans itself.
Pizza that doesn't give you heartburn.
A Star Wars-like force that makes everyone say exactly what's on their minds: all honesty, no meaningless niceties.
Furniture that's not from Ikea but doesn't cost ONE HUNDRED GAZILLION DOLLARS.
The superpower to eat junk food and not immediately grow a new chin.
The ability to sleep in past 9 a.m. on the weekends.
Shoes that are comfortable but still don't look like this:
A magic pill to make you feel better about the fact that you've been paying your student loans for 10 years and have barely made a dent.
Kids who want to take their naps.
An instant wrinkle zapper that comes with a Valium for when you spot your first crow's foot.
Also, a love handle zapper.
EVERYTHING to be made of Tempur-pedic.
Bouncers who always card you. Sincerely.
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