1. A job that doesn’t ever require you to show up until noon, or stay later than 5 p.m.
Comedy Central / Via rsvlts.com
2. Dishes that wash, dry, and reshelve themselves as soon as you put them in the sink.
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4. The superpower of knowing all the lyrics to every song that comes on at a party.
6. Arms that stretch long enough to always reach your phone/remote/drink.
7. Nutella that won’t make you fat or diabetic, no matter how many spoonfuls you eat while sitting in your bed in pajamas.
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8. Roommates who genuinely enjoy cleaning the entire apartment thoroughly every week.
Lionsgate / Via whatshouldboxofficecallme.tumblr.com
9. For pants to be optional everywhere…and even kinda discouraged.
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10. A bar where you walk in and the bartender says hello and asks if you’d like “the usual.”
NBC / Via maningeeksclothing.tumblr.com
11. A significant other who gets along with your mom and loves buying you things.
12. A one-touch laundry machine that sorts, washes, dries, and puts away your clothes for you.
13. An online dating platform that filters out all creeps and constantly finds you models who want nothing but to make you happy forever.
NBC / Via theberry.com
14. A drink that tastes like candy, keeps you at the sweet spot of drunk all night, and leaves no hangover.
16. A well-reasoned and thoroughly researched opinion on all political goings on, ready to whip out whenever the subject is raised.
17. A switch that you can flip to get over your ex instantaneously.
18. For “binge-watching my favorite show and can’t get out of bed right now” to be a valid excuse to skip work.
The CW / Via blogs.smithsonianmag.com
19. A restaurant that will deliver quality Thai food to your doorstep for free at all hours of the night.
NBC / Via huffingtonpost.com
21. A self-renewing contact lens prescription and hair that trims itself every month.
23. A 401(k) that fills itself up…and someone who will explain in very simple language what a 401(k) is.
Columbia / Via badbooksgoodtimes.com
24. Thousands of Twitter followers who laugh at all your jokes, and a Klout score higher than your boss’.
In The News Today
- Lawyers for the NFL and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady failed to reach a settlement in the deflategate case. A decision is expected by Friday. ›