9 Times Zeus Had Absolutely No Chill

This is what happens when you let a bro have access to thunderbolts.

1. When he made Prometheus have his liver eaten out for giving fire to humanity.

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His liver was pecked at by an eagle, which represented Zeus, every day, and it regenerated each night so it could be pecked at all over again the next day.

2. When he made his dad Cronus barf up his sister Hera, whom Cronus had eaten, so he could marry her.

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Cronus swallowed all his children after they were born because he was paranoid about them usurping his throne. (Zeus' mom saved him by swaddling a stone and tricking Cronus into swallowing that instead.)

As an adult, Zeus slipped Cronus an emetic that made him vomit the kids back out, including Hera, whom he married.

3. When he wanted to hook up with Io and blanketed the sky with clouds so Hera wouldn't see.

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When Hera discovered the two, he changed himself into a cloud and Io into a white cow. Hera was suspicious, and demanded Zeus give her the white cow as a sacrifice. BUSTED.

4. When he slept with like everyone.

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Including Metis, Leto, Maia, Semele, Alkmenae, Danae, Demeter, Themis, Io, Electra, Leda, Callisto, Mnemosyne, Euroynme and more. It's like a Greek Lou Bega song.

5. When he threw actual thunderbolts at people he hated.

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Zeus slayed Salmoneus with a thunderbolt after he impersonated Zeus by (hilariously) riding around in a bronze chariot, making everyone worship him and loudly imitating thunder sounds.

6. When he hired a nymph to talk to his wife nonstop to distract her from his infidelities.

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Zeus got a nymph named Echo to talk to Hera incessantly so she'd be occupied while he got busy with other Greek ladies. However, Hera still found out. Ha.

7. When he turned Chelone into a tortoise for refusing to go to his wedding.

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Do not fuck around with Zeus' RSVPs.

8. When he turned into a bull and raped Europa.

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NOT cool.

9. When he threw one of his kids off Mount Olympus just because he was ugly.

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Zeus threw his OWN SON Hephaestus off a cliff because he was "shrivelled of foot." Luckily, he landed in the ocean and was rescued by a nice lady named Thetis.