Tiktok Star Mei Pang On Navigating Her Identity, Going Viral, And Living Your True Self

The Malaysian Canadian creator is an example of how you can create your own space on the internet.

If you follow BuzzFeed's A*Pop on Instagram, you may have seen us chatting with Mei Pang, a makeup artist and content creator based in Ontario, Canada.

Instagram: @meicrosoft

Mei Pang has been in the content creation space for a few years, starting off on YouTube where she went viral in 2018 with her cut crease makeup tutorial. From her YouTube channel, which has over 219,000 subscribers, she developed a loyal following that has now expanded to Instagram, where she has over 800,000 followers, and Tiktok, where she has over 1.6 million followers. Her photos also frequent Pinterest, where they gain many users' attention with her unconventional looks.

You've most likely seen her before on social media without even realizing. Her tattoos, shaved head, and striking beauty looks definitely leave a lasting impact.

Instagram: @meicrosoft

Or you may have seen her walk the runway at Rihanna's recent SavageXFenty show.

Kevin Mazur / Getty Images for Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty Show Vol. 3 Presented by Amazon Prime Video / Via Instagram: @meicrosoft

She was the bald, tatted beauty that stood out not only from her looks, but also her height. Mei had forgone heels due to an injury, which made her 5'4" stature stand out even more amongst her colleagues who wore stilettos.

She also has a wonderful elderly cat named Latte.

Mei Pang youtube.com

For those that are longtime subscribers of Mei's YouTube channel (myself included) you may remember her slogan of sorts: "My name is Mei, like the month, and this is my cat Latte, like the drink." Latte, explained by Mei in one of her YouTube videos, is an 11-year-old large cat that she adopted from a shelter. And Mei's followers love her as much as they love Mei.

A*Pop, BuzzFeed's API identity brand, hopped on an IG Live with the creator to chat about her philosophy surrounding beauty standards and labels, how it has been navigating her identity in the public eye, and more.

Instagram: @buzzfeedapop

During our conversation on how Asian moms have the best one-liners and taught us the value of a good bargain, Mei speaks on her own journey of going viral on the internet and finding your authentic self. If you watch, there is a special guest appearance at the end of the live interview. 

Here are some of the things we talked to Mei about:

How She Got to Where She Is Now

Mei Pang youtube.com

Upon first glance, Mei's looks are show-stopping. When asked what the inspiration behind her bold beauty looks, shaved head, and symmetrical tattoos is, she had a multi-part answer that dug into all the details:

Starting with her hair, the short answer is that she "just wanted to stop paying for shampoo, honestly." The longer, more in-depth answer touches upon her identity and the attachment she had to her hair: "I used to have hair all the way down to my hips, and I held so much identity in my hair, like my beauty was based on how good my hair looked that day. I realized that I put so much time, money, and effort into my hair, and that's how I felt pretty as a kid. So I decided to cut it off. And I shaved it all off one night. It's been five years now, which is insane to say."

With her tattoos, her story is one that will resonate with tattoo-havers. Mei always knew she wanted tattoos, and once she got her first ONE she couldn't stop herself from getting more. Her first tattoo was on her stomach and was inspired by celebrity icon Rihanna. When asked why she decided to keep all her tattoos symmetrical, she mentioned her second tattoos and what followed after: 

"I got my second tattoo on my arm, but when I walked out of the shop I just felt unbalanced. Like, something was hidden. So I got a tattoo on the other side, and 80 tattoos later we're here and fully symmetrical."

As for her beauty looks, she takes inspiration from her environment and surroundings. Mei mentioned various sources of inspiration such as her friends, other creators in the beauty space, and "wackier points in the world," which led her to once do a makeup look based on a couch she saw being thrown out on the side of the street. 

On Not Conforming to Beauty Standards and the Journey to Finding Peace

Instagram: @meicrosoft

Mei's philosophy, according to her management website, is that "she does not aspire to fit any predetermined labels, and really focuses on what makes her happy." When asked about this philosophy, she opened up about her own journey to finding happiness and peace within herself:

"I would say my journey to finding peace and happiness has definitely been a lot of trial and error. I am a self-described internet kid, and I grew up on MySpace and Tumblr. Being exposed to different sub-facets of that side of the internet led me to see so many different aesthetics that I wanted to try out. And I did everything. So through that experience I realized that I can just pick out the parts that made me the happiest, and that's how I came to look like this. I always described myself as a simple girl that just has a couple stickers on her and that's it. But I strive for comfort. That's my main thing. Like if I don't feel comfortable or cozy, then I'm not my best self.  So yes, there was definitely trial and error to find this peace."

Having an Artistic Platform and Representing Asians in the Fashion and Beauty Space

Instagram: @meicrosoft

When asked how it feels to represent Asians in the fashion and beauty space, Mei did not hold back with her answer, touching upon the lack of representation and the changing industry:

"It's an absolute honor, to be completely honest with you. And obviously, I hope to see more people that are like me or just Asian people in this space. Because growing up I remember people would say, 'Oh, you look like Lucy Liu and Jackie Chan,' and I'm like, I wish I looked like Lucy Liu, are you kidding me!? But obviously, I don't look anything like her. That speaks to how little representation there was in the space, that you can only think of just one or two people on your hand, just Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, and Bruce Lee, and that's it. So it's been an absolute pleasure to put myself out there and to show people that, you know, you can look like this whilst, like, living in suburban Canada. And you can have a cat and have a shaved head; you can just live your life and be happy, and be at home. And I hope people, like, take inspiration from it. Maybe like, if you want to shave your head, you can definitely shave your head, but just to show people that there are so many different versions of Asian out there. So it's definitely been really lovely. It's been a blessing."

While speaking about the fashion space, we asked Mei what her experience walking the SavageXFenty fashion show was like, and she described it as the "best 25th birthday gift any girl could ask for":

"It was nerve wracking of course, because I've never done runway or been in such a high-production, high-stakes situation. And in the back of my mind, I was like, do they know that? I'm 5'4"? Do they know I have busted knees, and I can't wear high heels? It was just like these things that back my mind. But at the same time, my management team told me that's why they want you, because you're unique. You're different. And I took those words and just went into it with the confidence as any 6-foot model would have. And it doesn't feel real. Honestly when I say, 'Oh, I walked the show,' it still feels like a fever dream: the whole team, the production, and just Rihanna. And the models that were in my little section of the show, they were so kind and warm, and it just didn't feel like a competition. We were all there and just so excited."

On Going Viral on the Internet

Instagram: @meicrosoft

Going viral on the internet is not a common experience, and Mei's experience was no different. "Oh, it's been a trip" is what she said when asked how it was to go viral. "I started on Tumblr, moved to Instagram, but had no goal of it being like this. Instagram was just where my friends were, and I thought I could maybe post some photos to show my friends. Then I shaved my head and started doing some makeup looks, and then I started getting recognized on the streets. It's so neat to see all these different people from different walks of life coming up to me to say hi. I'm currently still going through trying to find the balance to keep my personal life and my privacy and have them coexist together."

When asked if there is a different between who she is in the public eye versus who she is when in private, Mei explained that there is no difference to her:

"I find no difference in between, like, the public or the private eye, in the fact that I never really fit in. This is kind of cliché, but there's one song by Earl Sweatshirt called Chum, and in it is a lyric where he says he's too Black for the white kids and too white for the Black kids. Being first-generation Canadian and my parents coming from Malaysia, I've always felt that way. And growing up in suburban Ontario, Canada, when I was young I thought, I'm too Asian for the white kids and too white for the Asian kids. I don't know how to speak Mandarin, unfortunately. So finding my identity, and finding myself, has been interesting where I am on my own path. And to me, that is a benefit. That is an advantage because I can do whatever the hell I want to do, because there's no rules. You know, there's no one like me. And that to me is so exciting. It's a little bit daunting, of course, because yes, I would love to, like, have fit in a little bit more; every kid wants to fit in when they grow up. But not fitting in and, like, creating my own little space has been wonderful. And being in the public eye, I created my own little space with so many other people. There's so many people that DM me being like, oh, they're first generation Canadian or American, or, 'We all have shaved heads and tattoos.' So yeah, it's been daunting, but exciting."

How to Live Your Authentic Self

Instagram: @meicrosoft

"I have said this on my platform so many times, but it sticks with me. It's something that my dad has said to me growing up: 'Try everything once. If it sticks, it sticks. If it doesn't, at least you tried,' and it really rings true. Especially with how I look, you don't get to look like this without trying a couple of things. Just yeah, trying everything once again, trial and error, and finding that comfort and happiness. Like, well, you might get tattoos that your parents hated. Or like every single tattoo that I've gotten, right? I have hid the fact that I shaved my head and I had tattoos from my dad until I was 21, and I started getting tattoos when I was18, because I knew that he would hate them. But when my parents saw that I was so happy, and I was living my fullest truth and that I can still be financially stable — because of course, with Asian parents, that's the number-one thing. When they see that I'm happier and see that I'm comfortable, they cannot say anything bad. So they're happy for me. I have a good support system around me, and I have found such a chosen happy family. "

We asked what Mei's authentic self looked like, and she mentioned her cat Latte, who was definitely a fan favorite in the interview: "My authentic self is definitely at home with my cat. I've found so much joy in doing the mundane things. Again, I'm going to steal one of my dad's sayings, but he always said, 'When life is boring, life is good.'"

Mei then spoke about her previous party girl life as a teenager and how she's since then learned to settle down: "I'm over two years sober now, and I live on the outskirts of Toronto, and I'm doing mundane tasks. I've never been more thrilled in my life."

Mei is living through what brings her joy, and we encourage you to live through what makes you happy, whatever that may look like to you. Let us know in the comments what living your authentic self looks like!

You can watch the full live interview here, and you can find Mei on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and YouTube.

Follow A*Pop on Twitter and Instagram for more API-centered content!

Brooke Greenberg / BuzzFeed