I Rewatched "Twilight" And Had So Many Thoughts
Edward Cullen is a messy bitch who lives for drama.
1. The beginning is so dramatic, talking about dying already.
2. It’s bringing back the thrill of watching it for the first time, though.
3. This conversation between Bella and Charlie is painfully awkward.
4. Bella’s hair looks really pretty in this movie.
5. The voiceover is a bit much.
6. Jacob! I forgot you see him first.
7. Ooft that’s a bad wig.
8. Okay Charlie is so hot though. I definitely didn’t appreciate him enough 10 years ago.
9. Lol @ Bella hitting Jacob with the car door.
10. Yeah this voiceover is really terrible.
11. Eric’s hair is peak 2008.
12. And so is him saying “chillax”.
13. It will never not be hilarious that Anna Kendrick is in these movies.
14. She’s so great in them though.
15. God Jessica, you can’t just ask people why they’re not really tan.
16. The whole friendship group is seriously under-appreciated and definitely under-used in the following movies.
17. Here come the Cullens!
18. Their introduction with Jessica’s commentary is so perfect and hilarious.
19. “Dr Cullen’s like this foster dad slash matchmaker.” Literally though.
20. HEEEEERE’S EDWARD.
21. Oh man, I remember squealing so hard when he first entered the cafeteria.
22. I mean I’m low-key doing it now too.
23. He’s so hot.
24. But so grumpy!
25. I'm wheezing at his reaction to Bella walking into biology.
27. That stare! This whole scene is ridiculous.
28. Omg Edward, be less weird.
29. “I’ll just have to endure it.” Such a drama queen.
30. This soundtrack is so good.
31. Ugh Tyler is a pest
32. The movie does a much better job than the book of establishing the danger of James and co early on.
33. Does it really rain this much in Forks?
34. Mike is a pest too.
35. Edward’s back!
36. Edward, BE LESS WEIRD.
37. “Any cold, wet thing.” Lol.
38. Kristen Stewart got a lot of flack for only having one expression in these movies, but imo she has too many expressions. Like about five cross her face at once when she’s just trying to say a very ordinary sentence.
39. How does Edward look so damn great in a plain grey t-shirt?
40. And Robert Pattinson’s hair has never looked as good as it does in this movie.
41. Edward is so socially awkward. Like Bella asks him a question and instead of thinking of a logical answer like the supposedly brilliant vampire he is, he just mumbles something about the fluorescent lights and nopes right out of there.
42. Oooh yes the van scene.
43. I remember screaming in this scene when I first watched it.
45. Oh heeeey Carlisle.
46. I love that Bella is calling Edward out to Carlisle.
47. Edward stop gaslighting Bella you beautiful, handsome jerk.
48. Edward no, don’t watch her sleep.
49. Ugh he looks so good in that pea coat.
50. Mike being out-of-focus in the foreground with Edward all sharp in the background is perfect.
51. "You can google it." I don’t know why but in 2008 that line was hilarious.
52. Edward is a messy bitch who lives for drama.
53. Poor Charlie, he’s making such an effort to talk to Bella.
54. I can’t believe they really made an apple bounce off Edward’s shoe just so he could catch it like the book cover.
55. “It’s just a little crowded.” Cut to deserted beach. Lol.
56. It looks so miserable.
57. I love Jessica dragging the guys for being babies.
58. “You stalking me?” Bella says to Jacob, the boy who lives in the area she’s come to. Meanwhile Edward is literally watching her sleep.
59. “The Cullens don’t come here.” Everyone in this movie is so extra.
60. It’s kinda hella problematic that Stephanie Meyer appropriated Native American culture like this hey.
61. Taylor Lautner is very charming as Jacob.
62. And Rachelle Lafevre is so good as Victoria. I’m still mad they recast her tbh.
63. James, you stone cold hottie.
64. Why does Bella go searching for a book when she literally scrolled past a bunch of Google results that would have gotten her an answer much quicker.
65. “It makes my boobs look good.” Jessica is the best.
66. Bella is low-key such a shitty friend.
67. I hate this scene where the guys attack her.
68. I’m laughing at Edward’s growl though.
69. “Never Think” is playing, they’re at the restaurant, I’m swooning all over again.
70. Why is Edward so shocked Bella knows what the square root of pie is.
71. It really is so fucked that he followed her.
72. Tag urself I’m the guy thinking about his cat.
73. I love Carlisle and Edward having their own telepathic conversation rn.
74. RIP Butt Crack Santa.
75. This website Bella is browsing is SO 2008.
76. I can’t believe I had to wait nearly 50 minutes for Bella to figure out Edward is a vampire.
77. Edward in the blue shirt and pea coat, HELLO.
78. I actually love this confrontation scene in the forest.
79. But Edward running with Bella on his back is so goofy.
80. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE SPARKLES! THE WINDCHIMES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
81. Question: what is it about sunlight that makes them sparkle? Because like even if the sun is behind clouds there’s still uv rays and shit.
82. Cackling at Edward yeeting that branch into that rock.
83. Gosh this is so problematic. Ugggggh.
84. “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.” And so silly.
85. Edward: you should be afraid of me! Bella: I’m afraid. Edward: :’(
86. I’ve always hated that “and so the lion fell in love with the lamb” bit. It’s TOO cheesy.
87. Lmao @ them just lying there eye fucking each other in the meadow.
88. It is a pretty shot though.
89. Hahahahahah the wind chimes again.
90. Bella arriving at school with Edward and him wearing those sunglasses and shrugging and being like “since I’m going to hell” is SO HOT.
91. I just realised Edward has been a vampire for 100 years this year.
92. “It wouldn’t be like drinking your blood.” Edward you thirsty weirdo.
93. Billy embarrassing Jacob is so funny.
94. The Cullens have such a nice hose.
95. It’s super cute that they’re cooking for Bella. And they think she’s Italian! Lol.
96. Edward is dying, his family are embarrassing him so much, what a relatable teen vampire.
97. Going to high school over and over again sounds like a nightmare. No wonder Edward is such a moody git.
98. He’s so self-conscious showing Bella his room, it’s rather endearing.
99. Damn he looks good in that blue shirt.
100. “You better hold on tight, spider monkey.” Robert Pattinson deserves all of the awards for actually saying that line.
101. The lullaby! I love this scene so much.
102. I just rewound it three times to watch it all over again.
103. Hey there Stephenie Meyer in the diner!
104. Edward you creep.
105. The kiss scene is so good though. The tension is perfect.
106. Right until he yeets into the wall.
107. I hate the "dad with the shotgun" trope but I love Charlie a lot.
108. This baseball scene is iconic.
109. If they hit the ball so hard, how do they not break the bat and the ball?
110. “My monkey man.” Why is this family obsessed with monkeys?
111. This movie goes from zero to 100 real quick.
112. Poor Charlie. You can actually see the second his heart breaks.
113. “You are my life now.” A lot of things I used to think were really romantic in this movie are doing nothing for me now.
114. I love Jasper and Alice’s relationship. The little hand-hold is a nice touch.
115. Bella this is not a smart decision.
116. This fight scene is just funny to me.
117. Alice is quite literally cracking open a cold one with the boys.
118. “Let Me Sign”! Man I used to be so obsessed with Robert Pattinson’s songs for this movie. As well as, like, the whole soundtrack.
119. It’s hilarious that they blame everything on Bella’s clumsiness and her parents are like “yeah, seems legit.”
120. Bella has officially lost all chill.
121. Charlie is so done with Edward.
122. “I leave you alone for two minutes and the wolves descend.” I see what you did there Edward.
123. He looks so good in that suit.
124. This dance scene to Iron & Wine is so everything.
126. I can’t help it, I’m grinning.
127. The ominous ending with Victoria is great too.
128. The credits scenes are cuuuute.
129. Look, yeah, this movie is a mess, but I will never not love it.