In this post series, I've been revisiting the movies I was obsessed with as a pre-teen and teen. The Hairy Bird, known as All I Wanna Do in the US and Strike! in the UK and Canada, was a movie I absolutely adored but didn't get much attention at the time.
Which is bananas, because not only did it have an incredible cast FULL of the hottest teen stars of the '90s, it also had a great script, amazing costuming, and a brilliant message – it was one of my faves for a reason. To this day, if I find someone who actually knows what I'm talking about when I mention the movie, I know I've found a kindred spirit. Because it's not the easiest movie to get, it's been a long time since I've watched it – here's how the experience of revisiting it went down...
1. Omg I have just realised that ~bird~ looks like a dick and balls.
2. Nora Ephron produced this?! No wonder I love it so much.
3. This cast is so damn iconic. It features basically every girl I was obsessed with in the ‘90s. It’s just missing Christina Ricci.
4. That’s right, Lynn Redgrave is Miss McVane, the headmistress. She’s glorious.
5. And Matthew Lawrence is Odette’s (Gaby Hoffman) boyfriend!
6. “Up your ziggy with a wah wah brush!” Hahaha, I used to say that so much after watching this movie.
7. “He’s a letch.” We don’t describe men as “letches” enough anymore.
8. This script is great.
9. Miss McVane pulling a tissue out of her sleeve just gave me major primary school flashbacks.
10. “They’re not just girls. They’re you. And if you get to know them, you might just discover yourself. And that is, believe it or not, just as great an adventure as the opposite sex.” I love this so much.
11. Mr Dewey truly is a letch. Stop creeping on your underage students!
12. He makes me want to spew.
13. I love the girls using their smarts and creativity to get up to no good.
14. Snake is Pete Campbell before he was Pete Campbell! Vincent Kartheiser sure is pretty in this movie.
15. *snaps fingers* FLAT CRITTERS.
16. Oh these guys are the worst lol.
17. I totally used to ship Snake and Tinka (Monica Keena) but ugh I hate him now?
18. Like, him and his crew are straight-up sexually harassing these girls.
19. “Why can’t I have you?” “Because you are lower than dirt.” Mooooood.
20. Yes Odie DRAG ABIGAIL (Rachael Leigh Cook).
21. Obsessed with their club being called the Daughters of the American Ravioli.
22. But ugh cold canned ravioli sounds kinda gross.
23. The fact that their club is dedicated to helping each other achieve their dreams is wonderful. The antidote to boys' club culture.
24. Omg Odie, dream bigger than losing your virginity to some guy called Dennis. Even if he does look like Matthew Lawrence.
25. “None of your flopping bunnies.” Odie sure has a way with words.
26. Props to these girls for trying to get Mr Dewey-the-letch fired, but uh, a sex toy catalogue is nothing on his actual pedo behaviour.
27. Miss McVane is definitely ordering some shit from this catalogue later. Get yours, Miss McVane.
28. “You’re very smart, but mainly in the derriere.” There are so many good lines in this.
29. Uh-oh Odie was busted trying to sneak away from the school for her sexcapade.
30. I am living for Verena’s (Kirsten Dunst) total disdain for guys and sex.
31. “It’s a waste of my mental skills. I’d rather be planning your political career.” I love her.
32. “Alas, I lust for no one.” Can’t relate though.
33. Snake serenading Tinka is super ick.
34. “You pests!” Truer words were never spoken.
35. “We build them up so you can’t tear them down.” This speech Miss McVane is giving about why the school shouldn’t go co-ed is so real.
36. As is this one Verena is giving.
37. “We’ll have to wash our hair every night!” That alone is reason enough to avoid boys at all costs tbh.
38. “Then you need all this equipment to push up the tits and blitz the zits and spray the pits!” What a line.
39. Okay Verena went too far attacking Tweety (Heather Matarazzo).
40. “Real life is boy girl boy girl.” “No, real life is boy ON TOP of girl!” Ooft that works on multiple levels.
41. “I’m not gonna live in the shadow of the hairy bird.” I felt that.
42. “You all want to sell off the school because YOU’RE HORNY.” You know, I want to believe I’d have been on Verena and Momo’s (Merritt Wever) side in not wanting the school to go co-ed, but in reality I’d be the horny one.
43. Momo just casually brewing alcohol, what a queen.
44. Snake does not remotely look like an adult, how dense is this woman to believe he is Tinka’s dad?!
45. Oh that guy Frosty is Smalls from The Sandlot (Tom Guiry)! How did I never realise that before?
46. “The master race has arrived.” Honestly I would die for Miss McVane.
47. Omg! Robin Dunne! Shawn Ashmore! There are so many ‘90s stars in this.
48. This bet about who can get the date with the biggest boobs is suuuuuuper gross but also disturbingly realistic.
49. I love literally every outfit these girls are wearing.
50. Tinka’s red and black number has always been my fave though.
51. Here’s Matthew Lawrence!
52. This conversation about prescription pills means absolutely nothing to me.
53. Oh that’s right, Frosty actually wants to get kicked out.
54. He’s the perfect match with Verena!
55. Dennis getting this weird foam stuff because the girl puts it in, i.e. he doesn’t want to wear a condom, is just ugh.
56. Odie is so done with him lmao.
57. SCREAMING at it exploding all over Dennis.
58. “Maybe we could get it in with a spoon.” This fucken guy.
59. Miss McVane and Verena are total kindred spirits.
60. OMG BABY HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN!
61. I definitely did not understand why he suddenly ran away from Tinka in this scene the first time I watched it.
62. Ooooh I am digging Abigail’s pink polka dot dress.
63. Nooooo poor Tweety, being victimised by these awful boys. :(
64. YES TINKA DESTROY THEM.
65. Snake is basically the anti-Pete Campbell in this, how funny.
66. “You’re so beautiful, I could eat your teeth.” Ugh he’s still a terrible guy though.
67. “Pinch me, I’ll show you where.” I clenched.
68. “Even if you got pregnant, I’d marry you.” ALL THE MEN IN THIS ARE AWFUL.
69. Uggggh including this creepy as fuck teacher.
70. Men are bad, that’s the message of this movie.
71. *looks at news* Can confirm it’s accurate.
72. Did teens in the ’60s really do the hokey pokey when drunk?
73. Verena is so into Frosty. I ship it.
74. Hahahahahaha @ Momo giving these dum dums Ipecac.
75. This scene where they’re vomiting all over each other is both hilarious and absolutely disgusting.
76. “I hope you will discipline this human debris.” What a great description of these shitty boys.
77. Hmmm that Mr Dewey pay-off isn’t quite working for me. It would have been better if his wife had, you know, actually found out what kind of guy he was.
78. Oh noooo Verena got expelled?!
79. Miss McVane and Verena bonding over a cigarette is a real mood.
80. “The trustees are gonna hush up the whole affair.” Sigh. Too real.
81. “I WANT TO RETCH AND DIE.” I remember quoting this so much as a teen. I may need to reintroduce it into my repertoire. It’s very accurate for 2018 tbh.
82. “NO MORE LITTLE WHITE GLOVES!” Yes! Go girls!
83. Abigail tearing off her star patch thingy and shouting, “Mother, up your ziggy with a wah wah brush!” is honestly so great.
84. As is the girls coming for the security guards with their hockey sticks
85. The girls all chanting “vote! vote! vote!” is making me weirdly emotional.
86. The horse girls to the rescue!
87. Lol @ Miss McVane making Abigail’s mother deal with the angry parents.
88. “You have no rights and neither do I.” Ooft.
89. “Ms Goddard’s gave us a voice and now it’s kind of hard to shut up.” This movie is almost making me wish I’d attended an all-girls school.
90. “These are your daughters. You can be proud.” WHY AM I CRYING RIGHT NOW?!
91. I’m obsessed with Tinka’s white and black polka dot dress.
92. I should buy myself a polka dot dress huh.
93. I love that Verena and Odie both really grew as characters and expanded their ideas of themselves and what they wanted out of life.
94. “GIRLFRIENDS FOR LI-IFE!” I’m emotional again.
95. They all achieved their dreams! And Tinka is gay. Outstanding.
96. This movie is a seriously underrated gem.