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    Posted on 10 Nov 2017

    This Is What Happened When I Asked British People To Guess Aussie Slang

    "A franger sounds edible but also like a mistake."

    by , , ,

    I, an Australian, asked three of my British colleagues to guess the meaning of some of our most ~colourful~ slang. Turns out it's basically a foreign language...


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    Jasmin: I can only think that this means one thing. I feel bad typing it in case my mum reads this.

    Dionne: This sounds like it’s NSFW.

    Jamie: Yeah, there’s only one thing I can think of here and it’s very NSFW.

    Actual meaning: Slang for blowfly, e.g. "You should've seen the blowie in my room last night."



    Jasmin: I feel like this means crap? I can imagine someone saying “that’s so bogan” and meaning it in a bad way, but I could also be talking out of my arse.

    Dionne: I have no idea. Something or someone who is not legit, maybe? “You’re so bogan, mate.”

    Jamie: Ok, I’ve heard this word before but I have NO IDEA what it means. It definitely sounds like something negative though.

    Actual meaning: A person with no class or taste, e.g. "I wore my ugg boots to the shops and looked like such a bogan."


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    Jasmin: I KNOW this can’t mean the actual plant, but I can’t imagine what else it could mean?? So I’m just going to make something up and say that it means drunk.

    Jamie: I’m also guessing this isn’t the prickly desert plant. I honestly can’t think of anything else green and spikey that this could be referring to?

    Dionne: I’m going to be safe and say plant of the succulent type. I know it’s probably a trick question.

    Actual meaning: Dead, not functioning, e.g. "The car's fucken cactus."


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    Jasmin: Somewhere that’s super busy maybe. In the UK we say “choc-a-block” and that sounds pretty similar.

    Dionne: A variant of choc-a-block, meaning packed or busy?

    Jamie: Going to take a punt and guess that it’s a super annoying way of saying chocolate?

    Actual meaning: Crowded, completely full, e.g. "I couldn't move, the place was chockers."


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    Jasmin: Gonna take a wild guess...something old? Like an old car? This is very specific and also probably wrong.

    Dionne: Could this mean when someone tells a bad joke? Like, “that was a clacker, Dionne”. I’m so bad at this.

    Jamie: I’m clueless.

    Actual meaning: Anus, e.g. "I stuck a cracker up my clacker."


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    Jasmin: This sounds like an Australian way of saying “cracking open a cold one with the boys”.

    Jamie: Sounds drug related. Is it drug related?

    Dionne: Open a window? Or open something? I can’t think of what the “fat” could mean though.

    Actual meaning: To get an erection, e.g. "He couldn't crack a fat."


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    Jasmin: A fun way of saying dog???? I’m gonna feel bad if it’s not and I end up calling my dog a dag.

    Jamie: There’s song in Hamilton that has the lyrics “dag, I amaze and astonish”, and that’s the extent of my knowledge.

    Dionne: Does it mean your best friend? “That’s my daaaaaag!”

    Actual meaning: An untidy or uncool person, e.g. "I feel like such a dag today."


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    Jamie: I’m pretty sure you’re just making up words to test us.

    Jasmin: Someone silly. “Ah, that’s so dunny of you!” an Australian person would say. I think.

    Dionne: What Jamie said! If I had to guess, it sounds like something you’d say when you’re surprised about something. “No way, that’s so dunny!”

    Actual meaning: Toilet, e.g. "I'm busting for the dunny."



    Jasmin: It sounds edible but also like a mistake. Lets combine the two and say “edible mistake”.

    Jamie: It sounds like it has something to do with the word “clacker”.

    Dionne: When someone makes a gaff in a public place. “What a franger!”

    Actual meaning: Condom, e.g. "Have you got a franger?"


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    Jasmin: Being loud, obnoxious or overly confrontational.

    Dionne: A mouthy, feisty person. That’s what it means in the UK anyway.

    Jamie: Wait, isn’t that spelled “gobby”?

    Dionne: Yes, it is, but we’ve been asked to talk Australian. Maybe it’s spelt differently there?

    Jamie: Very good point.

    Actual meaning: A blow job, e.g. "Got a gobbie last night."


    Jasmin: I’m convinced this means someone who is being a fool.

    Dionne: I think Jasmin’s right.

    Jamie: I’m also fully on board with this definition.

    Actual meaning: Boxed wine, a popular drink amongst students in particular, e.g. "I finished all the goon then used the sack as a pillow."


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    Jasmin: A hangover? Because it sounds like you feel all ~groggy~ in the morning after going out.

    Jamie: OK, I THINK I KNOW THIS ONE! Pirates drink it.

    Dionne: Add a “g” and a “y” and this is how I feel when I wake up in the morning.

    Actual meaning: Alcohol of any kind, e.g. "Bring your own grog."


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    Jasmin: We say this in the UK too! Means going to get a McDonald's.

    Dionne: What Jasmin said, as I trust her. Plus, I’ve never referred to going to “Maccy D’s” in this way.

    Jamie: I’ve never referred to it as Macca’s myself, but this is definitely something British people do, e.g. “oi oi, fancy a cheeky Macca's??”

    Actual meaning: Getting food from the drive-thru at McDonald's, e.g. "The first thing I did when I got my licence was a Macca's run."


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    Jasmin: This has to be an insult. I mean it’s definitely not a compliment is it? Maybe it’s someone who sucks all the joy from things, admittedly not a thing maggots are famous for doing.

    Dionne: If this doesn’t purely mean an animal, I’m actually concerned. To be described as a maggot is the lowest of low. I mean, have you seen them?

    Jamie: Maggots are the worst of the worst, the bottom of the insect hierarchy. Even ants look down on maggots in pity.

    Actual meaning: Extremely drunk, e.g. "I was fucking maggot last night. I can't remember a thing."


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    Jasmin: This just means a friendly way of greeting someone right? “Alright old fella?” makes sense.

    Dionne: My man or my dad. We say “my old man” in the UK to describe the latter.

    Jamie: I think the UK equivalent would be an “old geezer”.

    Actual meaning: Penis, e.g. "You should see the size of his old fella."



    Jasmin: A rash you get from kissing someone too vigorously. Probably from kissing someone with a beard.

    Dionne: Does this mean thrush? Whatever it is, it’s not pleasant.

    Jamie: I didn’t want to say it but I’m also thinking thrush.

    Actual meaning: A rash around the mouth caused by kissing, usually as a result of facial hair, e.g. "That make-up is not covering her pash rash."


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    Jasmin: A family-friendly way of saying “fuck off”.

    Dionne: What men do at night when watching films of a certain kind?

    Jamie: Like maybe to slack off? I’m focusing too much on making things rhyme.

    Actual meaning: Go away/fuck off, e.g. "Rack off, ya moll!"


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    Jasmin: Americans say “I’m rooting for you” don’t they, so is it like that? To support someone. How wholesome.

    Dionne: An old friend or family member? “That’s my root right there!”

    Jamie: If that’s not the correct definition I feel like we could definitely make that a thing here in Britain tbh.

    Actual meaning: To have sex, e.g. "Wanna root?"


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    Jasmin: OK I KNOW this. Kind of. You get food from one. The problem is I can’t remember if it’s a corner shop or like, a burger van.

    Dionne: No idea. Sounds like something one might shout during a game of volleyball on the beach.

    Jamie: Maybe it’s a combination of both and is actually food you eat on a beach – kind of like a picnic but with crabs instead of ants.

    Actual meaning: Service station/petrol station, e.g. "If you need to stop at the servo, can you get some milk?"


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    Jasmin: Having a tantrum. Another way of saying “threw their toys out of the pram”

    Dionne: In the UK it means when someone completely loses it and blows up over something that doesn’t go their way.

    OK, so I’m completely out of the loop because I did not know this.

    Actual meaning: To display anger/throw a tantrum, e.g. "I accidentally revealed Stranger Things spoilers and she totally spat the dummy."


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    Dionne: A variant of briefs that rest (un)comfortably in your bum crack. I’m pretty sure (I hope) it means the same in Australia?

    Jasmin: Flip flops. Check me, fluent in Australian.

    Dionne: Oh, yes. They still rest uncomfortably in a crack somewhere.

    Actual meaning: A form of footwear, known elsewhere as flip-flops, e.g., "Wear your thongs in the communal shower to avoid foot fungus."


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    Jamie: Definitely sounds like something you’d wear.

    Jasmin: Tracksuit bottoms. I think.

    Dionne: An item of comfortable clothing like tracksuit bottoms possibly?

    Actual meaning: Tracksuit pants/sweatpants, e.g., "I didn't change out of my trackie daks all weekend."


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    Dionne: This has something to do with food, but I have no idea what.

    Jasmin: Possibly a chocolate bar? Or a chocolate/biscuit hybrid?

    Jamie: I’d eat a tucker bar.

    Actual meaning: Food, e.g., "That was good tucker."


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    Jasmin: I can’t even get my head around this to be honest with you. Gonna go left-field and say a woodwind instrument.

    Dionne: Not quite sure how to pronounce this, but if I’m right, I think this could be an abbreviation for “you alright?”

    Jamie: If it was capitalised I’d have bet my house on it being some kind of bladder infection.

    Actual meaning: Short for utility vehicle, e.g. "Can I borrow your ute to move on the weekend?"


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    Jasmin: A wife or girlfriend of a famous footballer.

    Dionne: In the UK, this means a footballer’s wife or girlfriend. If it doesn’t mean the same in Australia, my second guess would be some beef.

    Jamie: It’s definitely either a footballer’s wife or some beef.

    Actual meaning: To ditch school, e.g. "I'm grounded, Mum caught me wagging."


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    Jamie: I think “woop woop” means “woop woop”.

    Dionne: “Yaaaaas, girl. Get it” A universal (I think) celebratory phrase.

    Jasmin: I believe this roughly translates to “FUCKYEAHHH”.

    Actual meaning: Really really far away, the middle of nowhere, e.g. "Ugh he lives way out Woop Woop, I can't be arsed to go."

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