Remember those show-offs that were making fun of Scabbers when Ron was buying Rat Tonic? Yep, you’re one of them! You spend your day hanging out in your cage with your rat squad, playing skipping rope with your tails, and laughing at everyone who comes in.
You’re the old dude who drives the Knight Bus! You’re BFFs with Stan Shunpike, though that’s more out of convenience than anything else. You’re a horrid driver but honestly, that doesn’t matter if you’re a wizard.
You’re that girl who wouldn’t stop making fun of Moaning Myrtle when she was alive, you big ol’ bitch. But I guess you got your comeuppance when she died, and haunted the shit out of you. Isn’t karma lovely?
You’re that weird old Ministry dude who was sent to confront the Gaunts (aka Voldemort’s mum and granddad) in their gross cabin. Sucks to be you, but at least you ended up getting the job done and sending old man Gaunt off to jail.
You are the original ice cream king! You’re the favourite person of every student heading to Diagon Alley to stock up before school, and you even helped old mate Harry cheat on his homework. Nice work.
Remember way back in Philosopher’s Stone when Harry accompanied the Dursleys to the zoo for Dudders’ birthday, and his friend went along. Yep, you guessed it, that’s Piers. You seemed like a nice enough kid, until you ratted out Harry for talking to the snake. Nice work.