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Lmaooo 💀😂 my professor really brought a mf coffin to class to say “yall test scores had me dead”
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My mums just commented this on my cousins Fb status, AHAHAHA wee savage Ang😂😂😂
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“Guys don’t like when girls wear sweats to class every day” well the nice thing about that is I’m not paying 11 gra… https://t.co/VFn5kokwRL
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Deactivating
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I still cant get over my moms reaction😂😂😂
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how do u tell ur mom that u got a hammer stuck in ur mouth
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this is what my friends send me on the regular basis and I just have to show it to the world...
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I didn't have a pic of my girl to put in my lil locket so I just drew her
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Do u ever just realize that your mom is a living breathing angel and feel really bad for being mean to her when you were 15
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GIRLS!! STOP using Halloween as an excuse to dress slutty!! Fuck! dress slutty all year! you don't need an excuse n you're all hot as shit!!
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I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED Y'ALL????????????? RIP MY ICE CREAM
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£3 a month has been coming out my bank for months n I only just realised I adopted a jaguar called Jev on New Year's Eve while I was fucked
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I saw a girl on campus walking with her eyes closed & I asked if she was alright & she said she was taking a nap while walking to class
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I hate small talk. I wanna talk about Miss Keisha, my croissant, y’all juice, two shots of vodka, oovoo javer, if you fuckin put a hand on m
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yesterday i convinced a boy that i am a beet farmer by using quotes from the office
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Celebrating turning 3 in style. I had to make him his own party hat because human ones don't fit between his ears
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when you're walking past people in a movie theater to get to your seat
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i FUCkNig chokeD
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ok so I got pulled over on my way home from makeup class...
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Rt to save a life
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Who would've guessed I'm @Caradelevingne 's dad
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today i learned a really important life lesson
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When I edit my insta pics I send them to Austin mahone just so they'll save to my camera roll..after 3 years of thi… https://t.co/StWJLkueca
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At least we tried #Prom2017
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My sister has been in this world for 18 yrs and today is the first time she has been offered a menu at a restaurant
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lmao so my boyfriend phone takes a picture everytime someone gets the unlock password wrong, and they're all of me… https://t.co/HJ52gwW1Y1
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How EVERY Chainsmokers song is written:
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When you try to sing all the parts
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maybe most women weren't that impressed by the eclipse because they're used to a shitload of hype before a 2 minute performance
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So my dad and his coworkers decided to be The Office for hallowen...
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anyone in college can relate
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i don't have any spooks or forks so i broke off a piece of a hanger so i could eat
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Couldn't find a man to accept me for prom so I took a college that did #Harvard2021 #prom2k17 💕🙏🏾
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me when i get 5 likes and 3 retweets
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My teacher gave me bonus points for this I'm dead
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It's been done @TPAIN
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When u don't wanna get makeup your shirt
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How to test nail colors at the nail salon:
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this is the funniest wrong number text i've ever gotten
an update
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so the neighbor just sent my dad a message on facebook....
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my sister is about to have a baby and my brother showed up to the hospital in a suit because "first impressions mat… https://t.co/zWzJZPrWBs
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This is my dog & her baby daddy... & this is my dog & her babies.
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My cousins graduation announcement I can't hahahaha
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Brooke started her period today & my family is super extra 😂😩
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When it's your turn to do the dishes and all the bowls in the house are dirty except this one
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My mom admitted she farted at a frat party once and a guy took the blame and kept it a secret for 25+yrs That guy's my dad. Go dad. Lmao
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Alright who snitched
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oh so no one was gonna tell me there was a big ass penis behind my head for my senior pictures???
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my whole neighborhood gossiping about my "smoking habit" .....
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WHEN YOU WANNA BE A GOOD DAUGHTER AND HELP UR MOM PEEL SOME ONIONS BUT YOU HAVE NO TIME FOR TEARS HAHAHA
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my 13 year old sister was dress coded for her shirt today for "revealing too much chest and shoulder" so i made her… https://t.co/efZw37NU7N
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One of my flatmates opens their bread like this. I don't feel safe anymore.
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Is your best friend really your best friend if she's not willing to be this extra to make your man jealous..
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Everytime my grandparents go to In N Out together, my grandma takes a pic of my grandpa and texts it to me. I hope… https://t.co/yzqLc5Yn3A
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today for my birthday, my grandpa gave me 3 books filled w stories of each time he hung out w me from the age of 2… https://t.co/DV0wSfgfzT
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y'all ever stop fw someone but like the way YOU looked in the pic... so you gotta...
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Our principal told these two boys that their jeans was nice so they went back to the mall and got him a pair too...
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What my neighbors see vs. what instagtam sees
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My prom date everybody
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My dad told my brother if he got another call from the physics teacher complaining he would go sit in his class..da… https://t.co/ATjLIbI4jA
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I'm pretty sure they don't even know each other #FinalsWeek
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they put his service dog in the yearbook i'm CRYING
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@halsey hi i ordered your hopeless choker and it says hoelesss i want to Die
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i HavE tO resTarT my poTatoEsss !!!!!
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My boyfriend and I broke up a few days after prom, so I decided to "edit" the photos a little @VancityReynolds
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Mr. Sandman cover with 13 kazoos
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Somebody on Craigslist has a cow for sale and accidentally typed my number as the contact number. This has been the… https://t.co/MUEN77cz92
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mom.. why
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My school is having meme day so I decided to be iconic
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If the girl with 4 highlighters and 78 coloured pens says she’s fucked for a test you probably are too
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asked my mom what I should be for halloween n she said “idk whats popular among your generation?” apparently xanax wasn’t the right answer
*
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This looks like a mad sesh till you find out it’s a combine harvester in a cotton field
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Justin Bieber is older than Post Malone and I can't think about anything else now
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Snapchat is all about the streaks. Insta is all about the likes. Twitter is all about the rts. But Vine... Vine was all about the laughs...
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Me explaining to my friends how to fix their relationships whilst my single ass hasn't dated a single person in 19… https://t.co/lJwRAhSIdP
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twitter culture is seeing a retweeted tweet on your timeline, going to the account, and finding that tweet so you d… https://t.co/gLIrPfBPn2
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Me:hi Girl on twitter: omg why do girls need expensive things from their boyfriends all I want is chicken nuggets!… https://t.co/SUJ58lZvMx
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When I went to the beach 6 YEARS AGO I wrote my name & number on a softball & threw it into the ocean & told cute g… https://t.co/r2pvujzM84
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So there’s a rule against pumpkins in my dorm but it doesn’t say anything about pineapples
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i’m just trying to look at my phone bill and Jessica thinks i’m gassing her up
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My mom dropped me off today for College freshman orientation and she sends me this... #TXST21
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My dad bought a snorkel for the sole purpose of taking naps in the pool
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Lmaooo, my 13 year old sister don't play
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so my mom accidentally ordered an xs dog bed but he's still grateful..
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as if the school uploaded a pic of me writin with a cheese string
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Professor first day of class: Good mor... Kids with macbooks:
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"How's your day going?"