"When I was a kid I had a bed-wetting problem. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified.
Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So I decided to level the playing field. The whole 'hand in cup of warm water' deal didn't work. I stood over him as he slept one night and pissed on him." – hardybe
"I got fired from my job at a bar that has a nice fancy jukebox. If you have the app you can just pick songs on your credit card and they'll play. If you hit play next on a song, even if they turn the jukebox off, it'll play when it starts back up. It's also unskippable. They lost the master remote which lets you skip songs, so if someone chooses a song everyone else hates, there's nothing at all you can do.
"The owner does inventory every Tuesday night. It also happens to be a busy night because they do pool tournaments and it usually gets packed. I got 20 bucks in credits and that usually gives you about 18 unskippable songs. Plus more depending if the app gifts you credits. I picked a remix of 'Cotton Eye Joe', that comes in at around 7 minutes a pop. Two hours of hearing the same song has killed their business on Tuesdays. Even if they unplug it, it'll still play when they plugged it back up. I've been doing it for two months so far." – SgtSlaughterEX
"I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class. One day as I'm about to eat my sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom. As I walk back in the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I'm pretty annoyed so I confront him politely and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is. So on the third day, I hatched a plan.
"I put habanero cheese on my sandwich, and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom. This time I take as long as I can, and end up wandering the halls of the school, because my study hall teacher would only let one guy leave the class at a time, even for water. After about 10 minutes I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day." – iwmcguy
"My mom was a language teacher at my high school. The class was supposed to write one of those team dialogues in Spanish, and had a week or so to prepare it, then had to perform it in front of the class. When she called for this group of guys to do theirs, they pretended that they already had, and she'd just forgotten. They refused to do it, insisting it was her fault she didn't take notes/scores down.
"She went in the next day and said, 'Boys, I owe you an apology. I found my notes on your presentation and I do remember it, I don't know how I forgot!' She went on to describe all the grammatical mistakes they made, that their dialogue hadn't been as long as required, that they didn't include the necessary vocabulary, etc. All made up. She failed them all on the project and they couldn't do a thing about it without admitting they'd made it all up." – a-dizzle-dizzle
"Back in college, I was sitting in the library trying to work on an assignment. All was quiet for a while until this one obnoxious guy came in and sat at a table near me and proceeded to pull out his phone and have the loudest, most obnoxious conversation with one of his friends. Lots of 'BRO, SERIOUSLY BRO?' and yadda yadda. I was about to pack up my things and find somewhere else to work when the conversation turned to Netflix. The guy told his friend he should just use his account, and proceeded to loudly state his email address and password for all to hear.
"This was too good of an opportunity for me to pass up, so I promptly logged in and navigated to the 'LGBT' section and started adding the gayest movies I could find to the top of the queue. I like to think that both guys ended up thinking the other one added the movies to the queue but were too shocked to ever say anything to each other." – yeahhtrue
"One day, one of my friends gets sucker punched in the halls by some dickwad. Because of the school's zero tolerance policy, getting sucker punched carries the same punishment as sucker punching. So my friend and the dickwad both got in-school suspension (ISS), but only one of them was punched on the face. I thought that was a little bit unfair.
"So I got my friends together, and they got their friends together, and every week, one of us would sucker punch dickwad. Every week, one of us would have ISS, and so would dickwad, but since we are many, none of us went to ISS twice.
Dickwad on the other hand missed so much class, that he had to retake the grade." – whoshereforthemoney
"There was a guy in my office who was highly suspected of eating from people's lunches, and one day I caught him eating my sandwich. There was a Justin Bieber concert in our city a few days away and another one fairly close by a few nights later. I took out multiple ads from my phone in several cities online, saying I had two tickets to give away at cost. I put in his company email address and the work number as the contact info, and said to call in and ask for 'Scotty Too Hotty' with your best Justin Bieber fan story to get the tickets.
"Almost immediately the company phones started lighting up with teenage girls, or their mothers and fathers, calling in for 'Scotty Too Hotty'. We must have had like 100 calls in the first hour alone. I could hear him telling people, 'I don't have ANY tickets to ANY show!', and absolutely freaking out on every caller. Soon the manager called him into his office because of all the calls.
"Never fuck with a man's sandwich." – CruelHandLuke7
"I went out to the movies and this girl in the row behind us has her feet up on my friend's seat. We ask her to take them down, but she didn't, so we tell a cinema employee who comes and talks to this girl. She is obviously pretty peeved but begrudgingly agrees to put her feet down. After the employee leaves, she puts her feet right back up.
"So I get out of my seat, walk up two rows, sit down in the seat directly behind this girl, and stick my foot on the back of her chair and push it forward. They both turn around and try to say something to me, but I just say, 'Just watch the movie.'
I kept my feet up there the entire movie. It felt like I had done walls sits for two hours but I'm glad I did it." – deliasen
"My roommate kept using all my baby wipes and toothpaste, wouldn't replace them, and just told me to hide it if I didn't want him to use it. A couple days ago he said he has a girl coming over and would like to get some action and leave him alone. About an hour before she came over I pretended to leave for the night, and five minutes later I snuck back in while he was making dinner for the both of them.
"I hid in my room knowing that at some point in the night she would ask to use the bathroom, and I needed to take a shit. So 45 minutes goes by and she arrived and I am just waiting. About two hours after she gets there I hear him go take a piss. AH perfect! He went first!
"Now time to take a big fat fucking shit. I run into the bathroom and crap as quiet as I possibly can. A huge load. And I don't flush or put the lid down. I go back to my room and wait. Exactly 28 minutes go by and whoooop, there she goes, into the bathroom.
"She was in there for exactly six seconds and came out. Seven minutes later she leaves. Guess who isn't getting any pussy." – Nerdinater
"I was staying in an older hotel. The elevator was very small, very old school and had signage everywhere about how you couldn't operate it with more than four people. I'd also been stuck in there twice already that weekend (the elevator would stop between floors).
On a Sunday morning I waited for the elevator for quite a while (it was pretty slow). It arrives, I hop in and a family of five walks up to the elevator and follows me in. They were all large people and they all had huge suitcases. I politely pointed out the sign and said that I'd already been stuck in the elevator twice and that we should split the group into two. They laughed and said they were all staying on. 'Welp', I thought, 'enjoy your ride'.
I proceeded to run up the stairs and hit the call button on every single floor. The best part was that I could hear them complaining from the stairwell every time the elevator opened and nobody was there. Petty revenge never felt so good." – chicagojess312