1. Johnny Depp called Australia a beautiful island while looking dead on the inside.
2. Shapes announced the beginning of the end.
3. And quickly realised what a mistake they'd made.
4. The election felt like it went on for eight thousand years.
5. And everyone dragged Bill Shorten for eating his sausage sizzle from the middle.
But guys... think about what would have happened if he'd eaten it regularly.
6. The Bachelor fucked us all up.
Wait WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED? #royalcommsionNOW #TheBachelorAU
7. A tradie got a nastier surprise than those you normally find in a portaloo.
8. Pauline Hanson outdid herself by live-streaming a video of her watching a documentary about herself.
Your fave could never.
9. Olympian Mack Horton became China's #1 enemy.
10. Cleo and Dolly magazines both stopped releasing print editions.
11. And Allen's announced their new solo lolly would be peaches and cream, which sounds wrong but OK.
12. This mural of Kimmy K graced a wall in Melbourne.
13. And then one appeared mourning the internet death of Taylor Swift.
14. Which was quickly fixed.
15. All-day Macca's breakfast was introduced nation-wide which made hungover people everywhere rejoice (quietly).
16. Mamamia sold an internship for $10k and someone definitely said "I would pay $10k to never have to work at Mamamia".
We can take comfort in the fact that the kind of person who'd pay 10 grand to intern at Mamamia is the kind of person who deserves to.
17. Stereosonic was cancelled for the year, and all the bros had no reason to shred.
18. In breaking news, a woman found a 25-year-old muesli bar in her pocket.
Brisbane mother discovers muesli bar after 25 years in jacket pocket. #7News https://t.co/pGZu8s3fTN
19. HSP's became a very popular thing, and a lot of people were like, "yeah mate, we already knew".
20. Everyone tried to do the Census, but the government didn't realise that websites crash when they get high amounts of traffic.
Who'd have thunk it? #census2016 #censusfail
Didn't they learn from Kylie Jenner's Lip Kit fiasco which broke Google?
21. Dami Im went to Eurovision and actually did really well even though we're definitely not part of Europe, as everyone likes to remind us.
Yes! @damiandmusic through to the @SBSEurovision finals. Kaboooooom
22. The Australian Olympic uniforms were unveiled and made us look like posh wankers.
Uniform for the St Swiggins cultural exchange and ski trip to Gstaad 2016 (horses not shown)
Or a giant, walking Medicare card.
23. Nestlé announced these new ice creams. Everyone lost their minds, tried them once, and never bought them again.
24. Woolies sold a bunch of merchandise for Australia Day, but forgot to put Tasmania on the map. Which is understandable, tbh.
25. Kanye West opened a pop-up shop which everyone queued for hours to get into.
26. Oh, and Sydney's property market remained as elusive as ever.
$1.4 million for a burnt down two bedroom home, 10 minutes from Sydney's CBD. Bargain.