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It’s now 2017 and WOW have I written a lot of terrible puns!
And I apologize. In the spirit of end-of-the-year recaps, I’ve decided to do the same! I’ll be compiling a little bit from each post I’ve written to make one super post! This one! Read on as your hands tremble and form fists of rage with each successive pun. Sweat pours down your brow as you mutter under your breath about how this country is going straight to the dogs and this post is the exact reason why.
I have truly enjoyed reading all your comments about how awful my puns are and I look forward to making you upset in 2017!
1. You know what’s just not cool? Well, find out with an infrared thermometer.
I infra-read all the reviews and it seems like this is a legit product.
2. A fork/spoon combo so you can eat cereal and steak on the same plate.
The sides are tapered so you can cut through harder foods like rocks and chalk. Or whatever the fork you want to eat.
3. Water brush pens to make using watercolors more manageable.
I think you might find these de-pen-dable.
5. The craziest way to work out your arms (a gyro exerciser).
Alright I know it looks like a product you would see on TV, but it’s legit. I own one of these. You use your wrist and forearm to keep the gyroscope inside going. The faster it spins, the more resistance it generates. It’s quite addicting, and you can use it with one hand. So I’ll be just reading on my phone with one hand and mindlessly working out the other.
10. A gravity-defying wine bottle holder that’ll make your guests nod with approval.
These look quite de-vine.
11. A camera mount to help you take time-lapse video or panoramic shots.
Time lapses are too hard to do manually. I just don’t have the focus.
14. A nifty travel organizer that folds into a triangle.
It would be a shame if the company folded.
21. A flexible tablet stand so you don’t have to hold a damn thing on your day off.
This is too lazy. I simply won’t stand for it.
23. A Thor hammer night light for the aspiring hero.
On Thorsdays we get hammered.
24. A versatile neck/head/eye pillow to help you sleep in any configuration.
Naps will never be a pain in the neck.
27. A cup holder that will let you carry open drinks without spilling.
So your drinks don’t get sloshed, but you can!
33. A FURminator to reduce the amount of hair your cat sheds.
This will fur sure help out any cat owner.
36. A knife block that lets you slide the blade in in any orientation.
It looks like a pretty knife block.
38. A lotus flower container that will hold your cotton swab–sized items.
Now lotus not be too picky.
That’s all for this week! I hope you enjoyed reliving all those wonderful puns. You can always check out last week’s edition here.
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- President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump had their first dance to Frank Sinatra's "My Way" at an inaugural ball 🇺🇸
- On his first day in office President Trump signed an executive order to "minimize the economic burden" of the Affordable Care Act.
- Over 200 people were arrested as anti-Trump protesters and police clashed in Washington, DC, during the inauguration.
- Flights around the country are packed with pink as people stream into Washington, DC, for the Women's March, happening the day after Donald Trump's inauguration 👩❤️👩