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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

Water brush pens, a waterproof notepad, and a sneaky bottle safe: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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It's now 2017 and WOW have I written a lot of terrible puns!

And I apologize. In the spirit of end-of-the-year recaps, I've decided to do the same! I'll be compiling a little bit from each post I've written to make one super post! This one! Read on as your hands tremble and form fists of rage with each successive pun. Sweat pours down your brow as you mutter under your breath about how this country is going straight to the dogs and this post is the exact reason why.

I have truly enjoyed reading all your comments about how awful my puns are and I look forward to making you upset in 2017!

1. You know what’s just not cool? Well, find out with an infrared thermometer.

I infra-read all the reviews and it seems like this is a legit product.

Price: $18

2. A fork/spoon combo so you can eat cereal and steak on the same plate.,

The sides are tapered so you can cut through harder foods like rocks and chalk. Or whatever the fork you want to eat.

Price: $4

3. Water brush pens to make using watercolors more manageable.

I think you might find these de-pen-dable.

Price: $11

4. Jelly beans that will betray your palate and make you scrutinize everything you eat.

I bean down this road with these before. It’s not a pretty sight.

Price: $9

5. The craziest way to work out your arms (a gyro exerciser).,

Alright I know it looks like a product you would see on TV, but it’s legit. I own one of these. You use your wrist and forearm to keep the gyroscope inside going. The faster it spins, the more resistance it generates. It’s quite addicting, and you can use it with one hand. So I’ll be just reading on my phone with one hand and mindlessly working out the other.

Price: $20

6. A bottle safe that's disguised as a regular ol' water bottle.

Water you trying to hide?

Price: $14

7. A modular lunch container kit that snaps together.

It even has a freezer pack in the center to keep lunch chilled. Very cool.

Price: $7

8. A magnetic USB LED light strip that has a million functions.

Power Practical

I hear that it’s quite light too.

Price: $20

9. A bottom-dispensing tea brewer.

Clever design. It’s inspiring my creativit-tea.

Price: $24

10. A gravity-defying wine bottle holder that'll make your guests nod with approval.,

These look quite de-vine.

Price: $5

11. A camera mount to help you take time-lapse video or panoramic shots.,

Time lapses are too hard to do manually. I just don’t have the focus.

Price: $30

12. Cute copper animal ring holders to…hold your rings.

That one is looking at me bunny.

Price: $22

13. A petal photo display to show off all your buds!

Watch your awesome family blossom!

Price: $21

14. A nifty travel organizer that folds into a triangle.

It would be a shame if the company folded.

Price: $10

15. A rugged tent-like umbrella to throw some shade.

All the kids in that picture are shady.

Price: $50

16. An umbrella hook to keep your stuff away from sand.

“What happened last night?”

“We totally hooked up under the umbrella.”

Price: $12

17. A magnet mount so you can stick your phone to virtually any surface.

Finally something not repulsive!

Price: $15

18. A shower caddy with enough room to hold your bigger shampoo bottles.

Head and Shoulders above the competition.

Price: $16

19. A six-pack variety of gum that's made from natural ingredients.

Comes in a variety so you can be chewsy.

Price: $15

20. A unicorn plushie of everyone’s favorite cartoon cat.

I hope they don’t run out. That would be a cat-astrophe.

Price: $24

21. A flexible tablet stand so you don’t have to hold a damn thing on your day off.

This is too lazy. I simply won’t stand for it.

Price: $40

22. A laser-cut pineapple journal for your sweet thoughts.

Just bring this and some spam along. That’s Hawaii roll.

Price: $29

23. A Thor hammer night light for the aspiring hero.

On Thorsdays we get hammered.

Price: $30

24. A versatile neck/head/eye pillow to help you sleep in any configuration.

Naps will never be a pain in the neck.

Price: $45

25. Bag handles that'll let you easily make one-trip grocery runs.

To do more than one trip would be sack-rilegious.

Price: $10

26. Heart-shaped, double-walled glass tea cups.

Makes your tea quite hearty.

Price: $25

27. A cup holder that will let you carry open drinks without spilling.,

So your drinks don’t get sloshed, but you can!

Price: $15

28. Color-shifting polish that will make your nails pop.

This picture really nailed it.

Price: $9

29. A waterproof notepad so rain will never stop you from writing.

I find this quite note-worthy.

Price: $7

30. An adjustable measuring cup that cleanly plunges out the exact amount.

No more half measures.

Price: $12

31. A bidet to make you distrust toilet paper.

Life is just flush with these incredible inventions.

Price: $26

32. Homesick Candles from BuzzFeed that smell like your home state.

Wick away all your homesickness!

Price: $30

33. A FURminator to reduce the amount of hair your cat sheds.

This will fur sure help out any cat owner.

Price: $19

34. A microwavable s’more maker for when fire is not an option.

It’s Oliver Twist’s favorite.

Because he wants s’more…

Price: $20

35. A spice container that has a slick flip-top cover.

Thyme to invest in one.

Price: $20

36. A knife block that lets you slide the blade in in any orientation.

It looks like a pretty knife block.

Price: $30

37. A set of 20 washi tape colors to spruce up your bullet journal.

I don’t think my enthusiasm for washi tape will ever taper off.

Price: $15

38. A lotus flower container that will hold your cotton swab–sized items.

Now lotus not be too picky.

Price: $8

That's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed reliving all those wonderful puns. You can always check out last week's edition here.

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