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Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?

Pornographic origami, a tongue you can lick your cat with, and a bamboo keyboard: How far can *you* get without buying something?

Jenny Chang / Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”

I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.

Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.

Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!


1. This doughnut cushion that's sprinkled with pins.

Quite extraor-pin-ary.

Price: $20

2. This uhh... silicone brush you can put in your mouth to groom your cat.,

Yeah there's no pun for this one. Just marvel at it for a bit.

Price: $25

3. This Totoro night light that you will appreciate every time you wake up to pee.

Nice and light-hearted!

Price: $16

4. This ginger body soak to eke out all that stress.

Seems quite aro-bath-ic.

Price: $21

5. This book on how to fold innocent paper into all sorts of inappropriate shapes.

It's about fucking time someone made this!

Price: $14

6. This chill phone case that you definitely shouldn't consume.

These puns sure are a tough pill to swallow.

Price: $8

7. This party game where you try to create the best three panel comic.

Joking Hazard LLC / Via

Joking Hazard?! More like Choking Hazard! Am I right?

Price: $25

8. This dog food bowl to help your pet eat at a healthy pace.

It won't give the food bowl-der flavor though.

Price: $7

9. This 1990s coloring book to relive those historic moments.

Mr. Schnoodle / Amazon / Via

It'll really draw out all your emotions.

Price: $9

10. This tiny blade that can fit onto any zipper.


But don't put it on your pants zipper. That's a no-fly zone.

Price: $8

11. This notepad that looks exactly like wood.

Seems oak-ay.

Price: $25

12. These paper cups that let you pick your nose.

Perfect for parties with that nosey neighbor, or that guy down the hall that nobody nose.

Price: $12

13. This avocado seed bowl to help you grow your own.

Soon your garden will be avo-control!

Price: $10

14. This treat dispensing dog toy that will keep your pet busy for hours.

Give it to your dog before you disem-bark.

Price: $23

15. This watermelon slicer that makes cute popsicle shapes.

Slicer?! I hardly know her!

Price: $8

16. This no-fuss honey dispenser to make adding that touch of sweetness oh-so-easy.

Pretty sweet design.

Price: $11

17. This wireless bamboo keyboard that looks like it wood be nice to type on.

Ah chute, I wrote that wrong.

Price: $48

18. This meal tracker to answer that question once and for all.

For the last dog-gone time.

Price: $10

19. This insulated can cooler to keep your drink cold until the last sip.

I don't know if I can find a can cooler that's cooler than this can cooler.

Price: $30

This is the unfortunate end. Scrambling for more? You can check out last weeks' edition here.

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