Yes, nearly everyone you know will be spending Feb. 2 elbow deep in seven-layer dip, either watching the Broncos and the Seahawks go head-to-head in Super Bowl XLVIII, or knocking back beers while ignoring the game and waiting for commercials.
But if neither of those things interest you, dozens of other networks are offering plenty of Super Bowl counter-programming options.
Here are your best bets for a still super, but non-football Sunday television experience:
The Walking Dead
Why: Because there's more testosterone in one episode of The Walking Dead than there is in the Seahawks' entire starting line!
When: 10 a.m.–12 a.m. on AMC
Puppy Bowl X
Why: Because it's the cutest thing you'll see on TV all year.
When: 3 p.m. kickoff with the "game" running on loop until 12 a.m. on Animal Planet
Why: Because you can never have too much of a good thing, and these frolicking fuzzballs are the perfect Puppy Bowl companion!
When: 12 p.m. kickoff with repeats until 12 a.m. on Hallmark Channel
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Why: Because time ceases to exist once you're sucked into a L&O marathon. Sit down to watch one episode and the next thing you know, it'll be Monday.
When: 1 p.m.–11 p.m. on USA
Saturday Night Live
Why: Because if you want to see athletes embarrass themselves off the field, these cherry-picked episodes (hosted by Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, and Tom Brady) are just the ticket.
When: 4 p.m.–11 p.m. on VH1
Why: Because you might want tips on getting away with murder after your partner spends eight hours screaming at a television. Just kidding.
When: 10 a.m.–1 a.m. on Oxygen
Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse
Why: Because, much like the Super Bowl, Edward and Bella's love is endless.
When: 6:30 p.m.–2:30 a.m. on FX
The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Why: Because, unless they're talking about marrying an athlete, the subject of sports will never come up.
When: 10 a.m.–11 p.m. on Bravo
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Why: Because director Alfonso Cuarón's decidedly darker entry set the tone for every subsequent film in the Harry Potter franchise. Also, recent award show appearances have buoyed the belief that Emma Thompson is a lot more like Professor Trelawney than we first thought.
When: 6 p.m.–9 p.m. (and then again at 9 p.m.) on ABC Family
Alaska: The Last Frontier
Why: Because the Kilcher family — from an isolated community outside Homer, Alaska — laugh in the face of New Jersey's predicted 43 degree weather that all sports analysts are fearing.
When: 2 p.m.–12 a.m. on Discovery
Sex and the City
Why: Because PBS is one of the only channels airing original episodes (of Downton Abbey and Sherlock) on Super Bowl Sunday, and they should be rewarded for taking that risk by people like you.
When: 9 p.m.–11 p.m. on PBS
The First 48
Why: Because the ticking-clock factor makes this real-life Law & Order one of TV's most consistently compelling nailbiters.
When: 6 p.m.–12 a.m. on A&E
Parks and Recreation
Why: Because it's never too late to fall in love with TV's most wonderful comedy.
When: 8 p.m.–10 p.m. on Esquire TV
Shrek, Shrek 2, and Shrek the Third
Why: Because the star of this very funny franchise could easily take on the Broncos' defensive line and emerge unscathed.
Where: 6 p.m.–12 a.m. on TBS
Shameless, House of Lies, and Episodes
Why: Because, like Downton and Sherlock, these three super-underrated shows prove their boldness by airing originals opposite football's biggest night.
When: 9 p.m.–11 p.m. on Showtime
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Why: Because a Star Trek: TNG marathon is the most engaging counter-programming imaginable.
When: BBC America, 5 p.m.–midnight
Betty White Marathon
Why: Because Betty White is a national treasure, and if we won't be getting another amazing SB commercial from her this year, at least we have a Hot in Cleveland and Golden Girls marathon to bring the laughs.
When: TV Land, 5 p.m.–midnight
Tyler Perry Movie Marathon
Why: Because Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Why Did I Get Married, and Why Did I Get Married Too will, undoubtedly, make all your sports-related relationship issues seem insignificant by comparison.
When: TNT, 6 p.m.–1 a.m.
Chopped All-Pizza Episode
Why: Because pizza is the Super Bowl dish du jour, and this all-pie competition ensures you'll be able to consume it for breakfast, dinner, and desert.
When: Food Network, 9 p.m.