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This Quiz Will Tell You Which Pokémon You Secretly Want To Bang

Lickitung

You know that under those skin-tight Speedos lies a massive dong. A dong that's worth fighting for. Yes, this is a peen you're willing to go to war for.

Machamp

A Drowzee would make a gentle lover. A kind and considerate partner who'd make sure that you were just as, if not more, satisfied as they were. Afterwards you'd spoon. You, spooning a Drowzee. Picture that.

Drowzee

I'm not sure of the logistics of how this would work, but hey, you're the one who wants to bone it so good luck to you!

Voltorb

I mean just look at the guy. He looks like a dildo that's been cursed by an ancient magician.

Diglett

It's just a regular night out, and one you're not even dressed for. TBH you didn't even feel like leaving the house, but your friend Karen begged you to, and knowing the hard time she's been going through you agreed. Maybe you can help Karen find a one night fling to help her get over her ex, Steve. Fuck Steve. The club is kind of quiet – quiet enough that you start recognising faces, over and over again, until they become one monotonous blur of late night desperation. You down another drink and wish you'd stayed at home. Karen seems to be enjoying herself with the guy in the corner, so that's something at least. It's only ten o'clock. Fuck. Maybe you'll just quietly leave and get an Uber back alone: Karen would understand. Where is she? You look around the dancefloor, at the same old tired faces who you know participate in this ritual weekly, when suddenly you spot someone new. Someone you hadn't seen before. Someone you're instantly drawn to in a way you can't logically explain. The purity of the creature's pinkness is something else – something magical. You thought the feeling from seeing such beauty could never be topped but then you look into the stranger's eyes… Anyway, long story short you end up banging the Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff

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This Quiz Will Tell You Which Pokémon You Secretly Want To Bang

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