BREAKING: The Miami Heat Are Actually Dinosaurs

And they've been waiting 75 million years for a chance at the NBA title.

I present to you: The VeBoshiraptor

VeBoshiraptor is latin for "swift seizer."

more like swift SEIZURE.

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The VeBoshiraptor stalks his prey...

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But he sometimes prefers the element of surprise.

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The VeBoshiraptor schemes and hunts alongside the...

LeBrontosaurus

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Dribble that ball with your little hooved feet, LeBrontosaurus.

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note: LeBrontosaurus only travels by jet pack.

Pass me the egg...

BRONTO!!!

But even LeBrontosaurus and the VeBoshiraptor need help when they're having a difficult time regulating their body temperatures in the midst of planetary climate change. That's why they have...

D-Wadeitops

look at him dribble around the predator!

D-Wadeitops chews ancient ferns for nourishment mid-game.

and he always wears his signature high-tops, for traction and for fashion.

Then there's...

PachyceRaysaurus.

CHARGE!

Hey girl, I might smash things with my head, but I'm also smooth.

I'm smooth like jurassic jelly.

Look! Help descends from the skies!

The Birdman

Put the egg in the nest, Birdman!

note: the pterodactyl did not evolve into the modern bird.

This guy did.

Don't worry guys. Even if we don't win this series, we are still the Pangea conference champions.

Back when the continents were all connected, that used to mean something.

Yes, the Miami Heat are actually Dinosaurs...

Because soon they'll be EXTINCT

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Gotchu

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