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18 Struggles Only People Who Live With A Couple Understand

Three is not company, stop it with your lies 1970s sitcoms.

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1. Coming home to a home-cooked meal! That is not for you.

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The fuck am I supposed to eat?

2. Instead of a welcome home kiss after work, you get Pottery Barn catalogs in your pile of mail.

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Just what I need! A fucking apothecary table.

3. When you have a bad day, but only one person is getting cuddled on the couch.

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Time to invest in a stuffed animal.

4. In general, the couch is reserved for them so you’re always relegated to a chair.

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Ikea chairs do NOT care about back support!

5. When they leave the room and you KNOW they're going to have sex.

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NO ONE GOES TO BED AT 8PM.

6. THE SEX SOUNDS.

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If I wanted to hear sex noises I would TURN ON MY COMPUTER.

7. You're probably going to get frostbite from wandering the cold streets when they have a "romantic night in."

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The cold is literally ALWAYS bothering me.

8. When you have to awkwardly listen to their arguments.

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Waiting for Bravo to cancel The Real Housewives of This Apartment.

9. Like whose turn it is to take out the trash.

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You know they invented these things called "maids."

10. And then you try and mediate the argument so you can get back to watching Sleepy Hollow.

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How about you put this melee on mute?!

11. But they'd rather you pick a side in their fight.

12. You need to match BOTH of their schedules to marathon Gilmore Girls.

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GET HOME NOW OR I WILL KILL YOU.

13. You're always the third wheel to their couples Halloween costumes.

It's-a-me, Third Wheelio!
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It's-a-me, Third Wheelio!

14. THE BABY TALK.

IF I'D KNOWN THERE WAS AN INFANT IN THE APARTMENT I'D HAVE MOVED OUT BECAUSE I DON'T BABYSIT.
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IF I'D KNOWN THERE WAS AN INFANT IN THE APARTMENT I'D HAVE MOVED OUT BECAUSE I DON'T BABYSIT.

15. You never get their inside jokes.

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"You had to be there?" I'm literally ALWAYS HERE.

16. Your roommates are only friends with other couples, so there's NEVER any single hot guys around.

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NOT hooking up with your token single friend, there's probably a reason they're single and... OH MY GOD THAT'S ME NOW.

17. Your version of the walk of shame is when you walk your hookup out your room to the door.

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So what if I spell love as O-R-G-A-S-M?

18. But at the end of the day, you remember the most important thing. Your rent is split three ways. So you can spend more money on important things like liquor.

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An entire bottle of wine -- not just for Shonda Rhimes Thursdays!

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